The God of War
by silfursvik
Summary: Major Jasper Whitlock, aptly called The God of War, meets Bella Swan. Jasper works for the Volturi, recruting and training newborns to fight for them. This is a man without a heart, and the word "mercy" isn't in his vocabulary.
1. Chapter 1

**THE PEOPLE HAVE SPOKEN! By the people, i mean you guys. You have taken the poll on what will be the pairing for my next story, and here it is. It was a tie between Bella/Edward and Bella/Jasper. and so, since in already writng Bella/Edward storys, i've decided i'll make a Bella/Jasper story for you guys, and if you still want i'll make another Bella/Edward story.  
So here it is! i realize this chapter's a little short, but i promise the others will be longer. and better. ENJOY!**

Holy. Fuck.

That boy was _fine_!

Scratch that. That _man _was fucking sexy!

Regular junior guys did _not _look like _this_. Like…like they were some kind of male model. Or a marble carving of some Greek Adonis.

He was tall—God, was he…tall—and he was lean. But he wasn't skinny and awkward, he looked like he had just the right amount of muscle under those clothes. He had honey blonde hair, which was curly and looked stringy and messy—but perfect all the same—and it's length reached down to his chin. He had a strong chin, dark, thin lips, a perfect, straight nose, and eyebrows that were more straight then they were ached—but it was still perfect. His eyes were pitch black, but they looked like they had so much depth to them. If you looked into them, they would capture you immediately, and it felt as if you can just stare into them until you look so deep that you fall in, and keep falling. His skin was absolutely flawless, and white. As if he really was carved from marble.

I closed my eyes for a second then pinched myself on the arm. OUCH! Yeah, I'm awake. But just to make sure, I looked down to check to see if I was wearing pants. I usually forget to put pants on in most of my dreams. Yep! Pants are here! And thank God for that, too.

The man standing at the class room door smirked. I think I felt my heart skip a few beats. Oh my God, that smirk!

The teacher had stopped teaching to see who knocked at the door. She turned around and smiled widely.

"Oh!" she said. "You must be the new transfer student."

"Yes, ma'am. Jasper Whitlock. I am pleased to be in your class, I've heard much about you."

Once again: Holy. Fuck. I did not think he could get any more sexy until he opened his mouth. That deep voice was like velvet. And that accent. I can't say it enough: SEXY!

"All good things, I hope." She laughed. "I'm Mrs. Murphy."

Jasper laughed.

Oh…my…God. I was going to be a steamy puddle by the time class ends.

"Don't worry, no one breathed a bad thing about you."

Mrs. Murphy laughed again then turned to the class. "Alright, class. This is Jasper, and he just moved here from Texas. He doesn't know anyone here so be nice, and do your best to make him feel welcome."

"Oh, I am sure they'll be very welcoming," he said, then winked. He looked at the class. "Hi, ya'll."

A few of the girls giggled, and I saw Jessica smile and wave and at him, leaning flirtatiously over her desk.

"Alright, well, there's a few empty seats, so let's see here…." Mrs. Murphy looked around the room, eyeing the empty seats to find a place to look at him.

Jasper's black eyes scanned the room, but his gaze froze suddenly on me. I felt my heart stutter. So, trying to act as indifferent as possible, I crossed my legs and resumed doodling in my note book. Out of the corner of my eye I saw Jasper look back at Mrs. Murphy.

"Not a problem, ma'am. I'll just take the empty seat over there, thank you."

I froze, then slowly looked up—making sure to only move my eyes and not turn my head to draw attention to myself—and I saw Jasper coming towards where I was sitting. Even Mrs. Murphy looked like she was swooning from him. How in the hell did he do that? I begged and pleaded for her to change my seat but she didn't even waver, and he easily gets to choose where he wants to sit. Not fair.

I heard the stool next to me scrape across the floor as Jasper pulled it out and seated himself in it.

"Alright," Mrs. Murphy said. "But, now, Bella. I don't want you talking to Jasper the entire class. I know I said to make him feel welcome, but you'll have plenty of time to in between classes. Not during my biology class."

I looked up from my notebook with an innocent smile. "Don't worry, Mrs. Murphy. Nothing, not even Mr. Southern Charm over here, is interesting enough to capture my attention from your _fascinating _biology lesson."

She made a face and went back to her teaching. "Ease up in the sarcasm, Miss Swan."

"Yes, ma'am," I said, doing a bad impersonation of Jasper's southern accent. Everyone still got what I was going for though, because it made a few kids snicker. I turned to Jasper with a smirk on my face. he arched one of his perfect eyebrows. "I can charm, too, cowboy," I said. "You might be good with the ladies, but you haven't _seen _my effect on the guys."

"I hope that's something I get to see one day."

I shrugged. "If you're lucky." I took my ipod out of my pocket and began playing my 30 Seconds To Mars songs, putting on ear bud in my ear and hiding it behind my long, brown, curly hair.

"listening to music instead of paying attention to biology." He smirked and shook his head in disappointment.

"Say it a little louder, will ya?" I snapped, not looking up from my doodle. "If the teacher finds out, I know just who to blame for the confiscation of my ipod.

"Not a worry," he said, then drew an 'x' over his heart with his finger. "I won't tell a soul."

"I like you, cowboy." I stuck my hand out towards him. "I'm Bella. Just wanted to formely introduce myself."

He shook my hand. "It's a pleasure, Bella."

I gasped and jerked my hand away from his. "Jesus, your skin is ice cold!"

He looked down. "Is it? I hadn't noticed.

I scrutinized him before I turned back towards the front of the class room and looked down at the desk. I picked up my pencil and pretended to be drawing again.

There was something a little off about this guy.

**Thanks for everything you guys! you're the best fans ever! so don't forget to review and tell me what you think! Love you guys!**


	2. Chapter 2

**Wow, guys. i'm really so excited about how many of you like this story! thank you! i just loved the 92 messages in my inbox that said a new person added this story to their favorites! now, if only i could get 92 reviews... haha, ENJOY!**

"_BOO!"_

"Holy crap!" I gasped as I jumped, then spun around to face the person who screamed and prodded me in the back, scaring the crap out of me.

Alice Brandon. She stood 4'10", thin in the extreme, and had short, spiky, black hair. Complete with her tiny features, she was so pixie like. She was naturally bubbly, bouncing—and I mean literally bouncing—with happiness. But she could be an evil pixie sometimes, don't let her fool you.

And she was my best friend.

I took my headphones out of my ears and paused my music, glaring at her.

"Alice, you scared me! Don't do that!"

She laughed, the sound high-pitched and tinkling, like it could shatter glass but it was a beautiful sound all the same.

"What are you staring at?" she questioned.

I sighed and glanced back out the cafeteria window. "Nothing. Just thinking."

"Weeeeell," she sung, "Guess who has English class with Mr. Texas?"

I laughed. "What do you think of him? You talked to him?"

She shrugged and folded her arms across her chest, leaning against the wall. "Not much. He's pretty hot, I have to say. That accent…really…."

"I know. Jeez." I grinned and started clicking through my song list. "I think he's a little spoiled though. He can make any girl swoon at the sight of him, which probably means he's used to getting any girl he wants."

She smirked and looked off into the distance. "And if you were to deny him…."

"He would go crazy," I finished. "I know this type. Newton was the same."

She grimaced, sticking her tongue out. "Ick, Mike. Bella, he was _not _your best decision."

"Bastard," I muttered. "Thanks to him, I almost didn't leave that party still virgin."

She giggled, remembering. "Gave him a nice black eye, you did."

"And he told everyone he was in a fight with the football team!" we both laughed in unison.

She sighed after the laughter died down. "Anyway, why do you think he'll actually fall for you." I gave her a sharp look. "I didn't mean it that way, Bella," she quickly defended.

"He'll come around," I said surely.

"Not while you're wearing that sweater, he won't," she muttered, looking away.

I looked down, insulted. What was wrong with my sweater? I glared at my ipod. "Shouldn't Edward be raping you or something?"

She walked past me, kicking me hard in the leg before sitting down next to me.

_"OW!"_

"Whoops," she said sweetly, looking at me innocently as I rubbed my shin to dull the pain. "Sorry."

"Ah, no you're not, bitch."

She laughed. Suddenly, I was being slid across the bench, and Edward squeezed himself in between Alice and I. He smiled crookedly and slung one arm around my shoulders and snaked an arm around Alice's waist.

"Hello, my two lovelies," he said, then leaned down to kiss Alice on the cheek and on the top of her head while he twisted my brown curls through his fingers.

I crossed my legs. "Hi, Edward," I said, not looking up from my ipod.

Then was a silence for a few seconds. "What's up, Bella?" he asked, concern in his voice.

"She's thinking," Alice chirped before I could say anything.

"Oh, about what?" he inquired.

"Nothing in particular," I responded absently.

He nodded thoughtfully and took one of the ear buds out of my ear and put it in his own ear, curiously listening to my music. "Clair de Lune," he said with a smile. "Interesting choice."

One of the things Edward and I had in common, we had pretty much the same taste in music. It ranged from classical all the way to Linkin Park's screaming songs, which I know are completely opposite. Alice preferred things like Britney Spears, Ke$ha, and Paramore, things that made her sing and get up and dance crazy.

"So, Bella," Alice drawled. "If you're going to try and rein Mr. Rodeo Clown into your corral, I was thinking we need to go shopping. Say, Port Angeles, right after school?"

"Sounds good," I agreed. "I just got my credit card rights back."

"I just got car rights back," Edward said. "So I can drive."

"And if you turn is into a Volvo pretzel…," I muttered.

"Ha ha ha," he said bitterly, rolling his eyes. "I hope you fall in your washing machine while you're doing laundry."

I smiled. "And I hope you get caught speeding, because I told my dad to ticket you twice the regular amount."

Alice laughed, and Edward growled, grabbing me around the waist and pulling me against him to attack me with tickling. I screamed and laughed, wrestling to get away.

"You evil, little bitch," he growled playfully in my ear.

"Yep, that's me," I said, finally able to get away from him. I sighed and stood up. "I'm going to go the library, guys. I'll see you later."

I messed up Edward's already pretty messy, bronze colored hair as I walked by, and gave Alice a quick peck on the cheek. As I walked through the halls to the school library, I looked down at my ipod and put on Bruises and Bitemarks, by Good with Grenades, and turned the volume up all the way. I hummed the song to myself as I skipped down the hallway.

And then—so like me—I ran into a wall.

And that wall strangely had arms to catch me before I stumbled onto the floor.

I looked up into familiar coal black eyes, feeling my heartbeat start to increase in speed. Goosebumps began to raise on my skin, and I quickly tripped back a step, out of his cold arms. I keep feel heat crawling up my face, my signature blush of embarrassment.

"Sorry, Jasper," I said quickly. "I wasn't watching where I was going, sorry."

He smirked. "It's alright, Bella." He bent down and swiped my ipod up off the floor, looking at it curiously instead of handing it to me. "Good with Grenade, huh?" he asked, seeming amused. "_It's just that feeling, (Hell yeah), it's all about the timing, when you walk. I heard you're poison but I don't care, I'll build my own disaster_," he sang.

I had to force my brain to work right. Or to work at all. His voice was hypnotic, firstly. Secondly, was he seriously singing to me? Whoa.

"You like them?" I asked finally.

"Oh, sure. My favorite band." Then a wicked smile I never saw before appeared on his face, sending chills up and down my spine. He leaned towards me slowly as I stood there frozen, he was so close to me that his hair brushed my cheek, I could feel the coldness of his skin without even touching it. his lips were touching my hair, I could feel electricity crackling in the air. "I like them for their dirty lyrics," he whispered. "_Let me take you to school, I'll show you the rules. Shimmy shimmy, drop down, baby, give it a whirl. You've got the looks, do what you do. Let's make our own disaster_."

With that, he place my ipod in my hands, and disappeared.

I felt numb. I couldn't make myself move, instead I just stood there. Eventually, I snapped myself out of it. I focused on breathing as I shoved my ipod back in my pocket.

I turned around and gasped in surprise, jumping back a step. Alice was standing there.

"Alice, I thought I told you not to sneak up on me!"

She just stood there, her face blank and her eyes looked glassy.

"Alice, are you alright?" I asked in concern. She didn't answer and I began to panic slightly. "Alice!" I said, putting my hands on her shoulders and shaking her slightly. "Alice, say something!"

"You're in danger, Bella," she said, no emotion at all to her voice. "Be cautious, he's not who you think he is. He's dangerous. you'll be in trouble if you don't stay away from him."

"Alice," I cried. "Stop it, what are you talking about?" I shook her again. "Snap out of it."

"Red eyes," she breathed.

Then she completely collapsed into my arms.

**please review! i'm starting a new policy: Reviewers get teasers! so give me a review and you get a taste of what's coming up!**


	3. Chapter 3

**To SUNSHINE (if you're still reading this): First, i'm very happy you like the story so far ^^. Secondly, yes, i normally update weekly. i very rarely update in the middle of the week, i usually do it on a Friday or weekend. and since you were an anonymous reviewer, i could reply to you, i also could send you a teaser, sorry for that.**

Anyway, please ENJOY chapter three, finally out! still a little short i think, but i'm working on it.

The EMT's took Alice out of Edward's arms—who was extremely reluctant to let her go—and placed her on a gurney. She was still out cold, and Edward was completely, extremely distressed that they weren't allowing him to ride in the ambulance to the hospital with her. He looked like he was going to pull his hair out.

I hugged his arm and rested my head against his shoulder. "It's alright, Edward," I said calmly, even though I was freaking just as much. "Alice is going to be fine, we'll see her in the hospital."

My dad was able to get us excused from school for the rest of the day so Edward and I could be with Alice in the hospital. God bless him. He was the chief of police in the boring, rainy town of Forks, Washington. Everyone knew him, he was good friends with everyone—heaven knows how, he was a terrible conversationalist—and I'm sure he didn't have to do a lot to get what he wanted. Too afraid he'd throw them in jail maybe?

Just then, my dad sighed and came over to us. He put a hand on Edward's shoulder. "She's right, Edward," Dad said in his husky voice. "Alice'll be just fine. God bless that sweet, little girl. She'll be in the good hands of Dr. Cullen soon enough." He sighed and dropped his hand, placing his hands on his hips and looking around. "You wanna head over there now? Maybe if I drive fast enough we can get there before them, so you're there when she arrives."

My dad breaking his own rules? Driving over the speed limit? He really _does _love Alice.

"Thank you, Chief Swan," Edward said with a nod. "I'd appreciate that very much."

"Alright. Let's go, kids."

I gave Edward an assuring nod and we followed my dad to his police cruiser. We both sat in the back, and Dad turned on the police lights and siren so everyone would move out of his way so he could get there faster. Edward was staring out the window, pulling his hair out. I looked out my window, too, nervously chewing on my bottom lip.

Her words echoed in my head and wouldn't shut up. I kept remembering her blank face. I had never seen her like that before, and it really scared me. But even scarier than that were her words.

_You're in danger, Bella. _

I couldn't understand how she could know that, but somehow, I just believe she knew. I was in danger, she somehow knew I was, and I had no clue. Why was I in danger? What kind of danger? Most importantly, was there anything I could do to prevent it?

Ah, the eternal question. Fate, or not?

And then, what exactly was I endangered by?

Whoever _He_ was. _He _is not who I think he is. _He _is going to get me in trouble, potentially kill me? And what could be the most dangerous thing about this is that I didn't know who _he _was. _He _could be anyone. _He _could even be someone I haven't met yet.

Then, why do I somehow feel that I've met him already?

I shuddered, goose bumps breaking out over my skin. I shook my head, as if trying to shake the thoughts out of my head. my reflection in the window reflected a girl with her alabaster skin flushing with pink, her muddy brown eyes filled with fear that suddenly replaced with amusement, her lips twisted into a smirk. I was laughing at myself. It was all just silly, wasn't it?

…Wasn't it?

I mean, maybe she really didn't know what she was talking about. She could have been just talking nonsense. Nothing's going to happen to me. It was silly to think about that. What did I think she could do, tell the future or something like that? Please! I have nothing to worry about.

_Red eyes. _

I shivered again.

"Bella?" I gasped and jumped when Edward touched my hair. His emerald green eyes were filled with concern. "Bella, c'mon. We're at the hospital now."

"Oh," I breathed. My head bobbed up and down. "Okay."

He stared at me. "Get out—"

"Right," I said quickly, making my legs work again, jumping out of the police cruiser.

I was half-running to keep up with Edward's long strides. Damn, that kid was fast! If he didn't have me running along his side, he'd be sprinting into the hospital. I could see this idiot now, slipping all over the freshly-waxed floors and ignoring the wet floor signs. My Dad was ahead of us, though, when we got to the room Alice was in. There was a nurse in there, along with Dr. Cullen.

Dr. Cullen is the only doctor I ever really liked. Because of my extreme klutziness, I spent the majority of my time in the hospital, naturally. He was a tall, blonde man who always had kindness in his eyes, and always stayed calm and never yelled. And he was a great doctor. Alice _would _be in good hands with him.

"Dr. Cullen," my dad said. "Is everything all right?"

Alice was awake. She smiled up at us from the hospital bed. Edward immediately went over to her, relieved. He crouched down next to her bed, taking her hand in his, and kissing her knuckles, the top of her head, her neck, her cheek, finally her mouth. I smiled at her and sat in the chair on the other side of the bed.

"I'm fine," Alice nearly groaned, clapping her hand on my arm. "Bella, I feel completely fine, and they won't let me out of here. Please help me." She pouted.

I laughed. "Sorry, Alice. I think that's something you need to talk with Dr. Cullen about, I can't do a thing for you."

"Dr. Cullen?" she asked with the sweetness and innocence of a five year old, and the sadness of a caged puppy.

He laughed and stopped scribbling on his clipboard to look up at her. "Yes, Alice?"

"When can I get out of here?"

Dr. Cullen sighed. "I'm afraid I want to keep you here for the night for evaluation. But if you're still completely fine in the morning, I'll let you leave."

She frowned. "Morning?" She sighed and looked at me. "Sorry, Bella. This completely ruined out shopping plans."

I patted her hand. "It's alright, Alice. It's not like it's your fault."

She made a face, then sighed again and looked at Edward. "Edward, do you mind getting me a bottle of water? I'm really thirsty."

"Of course, Alice," he said, then stood up and kissed the top of her head again. "I'll be right back."

He left, and Dr. Cullen and my dad also wandered off somewhere, chatting with each other. Just Alice and I were left alone in the room. She rested her head against my arm.

"Bella, it's really dreary in here," she complained. "I want out."

"Well, you wouldn't be in here if you didn't go and faint. Seriously, Alice?" I demanded, teasingly outraged.

"What happened?' she whispered. "I don't remember anything."

"Nothing?" I asked incredulously.

She shook her head. "Not. A. Thing."

I shrugged. "You were just talking to me, Alice. And you just started to look like you didn't feel well, and you fainted. Nothing much happened."

I hadn't told anyone about what she said. I hoped she would remember it and could tell me more about what she meant, but since she didn't remember than she can't help me. There's no sense in telling her then.

"Bella, you wanna know something? You are my best friend in the entire world, and I couldn't have asked for a better friend. You are amazingly awesome, and awesomely amazing."

I smirked. "What do you want, Alice?"

"There is this _extremely cute _jacket at The Toggery in Port Angeles, and I really just have to have it! I mean it, Bella! This jacket is amazing and it would go with any one of my outfits!"

I laughed. "Alice, why would I go all the way out to Port Angeles just to get you a jacket?"

"Becaaaause, you're my best friend. And best friends would do that, because I would do that for you. And because you feel so bad for me that I'm stuck in this hospital that you would be glad to get me that jacket."

I glared at her. "Pulling the best friend card on me?" I shook my head. "Alice, that's harsh."

She smiled and squealed, hugging my arm tightly. "Yay, Bella! Thank you, thank you, thank you! I love yoouuuu!"

"Yeah, you better, for what I'm going to do for you."

**Thank you for reading! REMEMBER: REVIEWERS GET TEASERS! ! !**


	4. Chapter 4

**YAY! Virtual cookies from septemberbaby11! Okay guys, finally this chapter is out! I would have had it out sooner, but there was problems with the site, sorry for that. i hope you guys all enjoy it, it's nice and long!**

"Thanks for dropping me off, Dad," I said. "And thanks for taking me and Edward to the hospital."

He shut his car door. "Sure, no problem, Bells. I really like Alice. What a charming little girl. I hope she feels better."

I laughed. "Oh yeah, she'll feel much better when she gets that jacket she's whining about."

He chuckled, shaking his head. "That's so Alice." He sighed. "Alight, Bells. I'll see you at home."

I nodded. "Later though. I don't think I'll be home for dinner. Think you can survive on your own?"

He gave me a look. "Bella, I've survived plenty of years without you, I'm sure I'll manage the night."

"Don't burn the house down," I warned.

"Later, Bells," he grumbled, ducking back down into his police cruiser and driving away.

I smirked and walked across the school parking lot to my rusty, faded red truck. When my dad was so excited about getting me this new truck I had joked about him jacking it from the junkyard. The thing looked like it should definitely not be on the road if it even ran, but I really did love it anyway. It seemed kind of perfect for me. _The thing_—it became an instant nickname for it.

I hummed the Good with Grenades song that Jasper sung quietly to myself as I twisted my key in the truck's door. As I reached for the handle to open the door, I froze as goose bumps broke out on my arms. My breath caught in my throat, then I saw Jasper's face in my side view mirror. His hair fell around his face, his black eyes glittered with…in a word, evil…his lips twisted into a cruel smirk.

I gasped loudly and spun around, my hands flying to my mouth. No one was there. My eyes darted around quickly, but the parking lot was empty. Seriously, I think I saw a tumbleweed blow across. I dropped my hand, my heart beat trying to slow itself to normal pace. I turned back to my truck and screamed loudly.

Jasper was standing there, his arms folded across his chest, leaning casually against my truck door, just as I saw him in the mirror.

"Jasper!" I gasped. "How the—? Where the—?"

"Hello, Bella," he said, dipping his head at me.

"Where the hell did you come from?" I demanded.

He raised an eyebrow. "I just walked over, Bella."

I shook my head, feeling stupid. "No. The parking lot was completely empty _two seconds ago_. I didn't see you _anywhere_."

He placed his cold hand on the side of my face, and I unconsciously closed my eyes. His thumb ran over my eyelid with the touch of a feather, and I resisted leaning into his touch like a little purring kitten.

"Well, let's keep those eyes open then," he said, dropping his hand. "What do you think I did? Fell out of the sky?"

I opened my eyes, and didn't respond .

He refolded his arms and sighed. "So, I heard what happened with your friend. Alice, is it?"

I nodded. He waited for a while but I didn't say anything else.

"Is she alright?" he pressed.

"She's fine," I said automatically. "Well, she _says _she's fine anyway, but the doctor wants to keep her there overnight just in case. She fine enough to ask me to go out and get her this jacket she desperately wants."

"Oh, well, I'm glad she's okay." He paused. "So, still singing that song, are you?"

I narrowed my eyes at him. He heard me humming the song? He had to have been standing behind me. The bastard's playing with me.

Well, fine, I can play, too.

I smirked and stepped forward to him, putting my hands on his chest. His expression changed to surprise, his arms dropping to his sides. But then his lips twitched, fighting a smile, and his black eyes glinted with hunger. I stretched up on my toes to whisper in his ear.

"You know, Jasper, I have a better song for you," I said. _"__You know that I want you, and you know that I need you. I want it bad, your bad romance. I want your love, and I want your revenge. You and me could write a bad romance. I want your love and all your love is revenge. You and me could write a bad romance."_

He began to twist his fingers through my curls, sending shivers down my spine. Ugh, this was a vicious cycle! I pushed myself away from him and jumped into my truck, still smirking. I shut the door in his face, but rolled down the window to lean out to talk to him.

"Where are you going?" he asked, still smirking evilly.

"Anywhere I want. Cause I'm a free bitch, baby," I said, then started the car and drove away.

I watched him in the mirror, seeing that he appeared to be laughing. I smiled at that.

I swore to myself, next time I came face to face with him I would not act like a stuttering, mumbling fool like I often did. I was going to mess this boy up. Next time we meet, I'll be sending him home with a fried brain.

I had to laugh at that.

I didn't like the silence that followed after my laughter died down. Something was wrong. A little off. Strange. It wasn't the silence itself, something deeper into the silence.

I didn't like it.

But silence or not, I couldn't get the image of Jasper out of my head. Something was a little wrong with that. Something didn't make sense. Something didn't…click.

Great. My paranoia is _completely _out of control.

Why can't I just stop thinking about it? Why can't my mind just shut up? Just turn off? Wouldn't the world be a better place then.

But Jasper…. Jasper Whitlock. Oh, Jasper was something else. Something else completely. I haven't even spoken to him more than three times, haven't even known him for more than a day, but I just knew there was something about him. I had no clue what. Something about him that drew me in. Something that kept me far away at the same time.

Maybe he was just _that guy_. Mysterious, incredibly sexy loner who kept distant from everyone and could get any girl he wants.

Did I really want to be _that girl_?

_The monsters are buried down deep inside  
You never know when they're satisfied  
Buried down deep where the sun don't shine  
The monsters are buried down deep inside_

I jumped about a foot in the air, then glared at my truck stereo. I growled and banged on it viciously, and the music turned off. Piece of crap music player was always randomly turning on and off. That's the standard junkyard quality.

I sighed and gazed out the side window as I stopped at a red light. I noticed a missing poster on the telephone pole. Not just one, but quite a few. All teens it looked like, missing.

What the hell?

I resumed driving, but every now and then I would glance at a telephone pole. Every pole had at least one missing poster, usually the same person kept showing up, but so many people missing.

I took out my cell phone and brought up the internet, quickly checking the latest news. I shouldn't be on my cell phone while driving, but this really couldn't wait.

There were mysterious disappearances everywhere. Police suspect gang activity in Port Angeles and Seattle. And hikers are going missing in Forks, which police suspect are animal attacks.

I had my suspicions again. Or paranoia, whichever. Anyway, I didn't feel too good about all of it.

I kept thinking about it the entire drive, avoiding looking at telephone poles, and reminding myself to be careful as I got to Port Angeles.

Ugh, I _hated _parking here. Especially after dark, there were nearly no places to park. I'm glad I found one spot, but it wasn't very close to the store I needed to go into. I know because I passed it a few blocks ago.

It was getting cold out now. I was able to see my breath. I zipped my jacket up to my neck and stuck my hands in my pockets.

As I was walking though, I couldn't help but slow my pace as I walked by a bookstore. It was a small thing, and looked kind of old. People usually didn't take me for the bookworm type, but in truth, I really loved reading as much as I enjoyed partying. So I couldn't honestly say that I felt guilt for abandoning the jacket waiting for me in the other store as I sauntered into the bookstore, trying not to look so excited. It was a bookstore, not Disney World, how excited could a person get?

It was empty, just me and the Native American looking clerk and the counter. It was smaller inside, but there was so much to look through. Everything was so old. Dust and everything. But I really liked that kind of stuff, I don't know why, I just found it interesting.

One book in particular caught my eye as I was scanning a shelf. It was a small, leather-bound book. The cover read, "Quileute Legends.'"

Quileute? Who the hell was that?

I picked up the book and began to flip through the pages, scanning them for anything interesting. I stopped flipping and went back a few pages, going back to the interesting picture I just saw. It looked like a hieroglyphic of some creature eating a man. The bottom of the page had three words written, and though I had never heard them before they sent chills down my spine.

_The Cold One. _

I stared at the page for a second, then closed the book quickly and replaced it on the shelf. Sticking my hands back into my pockets, I kept my eyes on the ground as I walked back outside.

My mind wasn't in my body as I walked on to the clothing store. I was glad for that. Maybe my mind was doing what I wanted it to: turning off. Maybe, because I felt numb. Body and mind. Exhausted even, but I wasn't tired.

I didn't even realize I was at the clothing store until a too-perky saleslady bounced over to me.

"Hi. How are you? Can I help you with anything?"

I stared at her for a few seconds before I could get my mouth to form any words. I couldn't even manage a smile. "No, thanks, I'm fine."

She smiled and walked off, straightening things out on shelves and racks. I walked around, searching for Alice's jacket so I could get out of there and get back home. I thought this was ridiculous before, but now that I was actually all the way out here to get just a jacket like it was a life-or-death issue it was even more so.

Finally, there was the jacket Alice had described in complete detail for me so that it was impossible for me to get the wrong jacket. It was a cute, white jacket with ling sleeves and cuffs at the bottom of the sleeves, and a zipper and buttons and belt buckles. It was light and the length would have come down to her hips. It was extremely cute, just like she said. And it was the last one there. She was so lucky for that, _and _that I was even doing this for her.

I grabbed it and quickly paid for it, bouncing up and down anxiously as I waited for it to be bagged. I thanked the saleslady and ran outside, where it was even darker now which I didn't think was possible. What time was it? I looked down at my watch, seeing it was nearly six.

In a hurry to get home, I decided to try a little short cut back to my car. I went down a narrow way around the clothing store. I stopped for a second at the map of alleyways that was laid out in front of me, but continued on. One way had to lead to some main street. I sighed and kept walking. Walking, walking, walking…

Yep. I'm lost.

Nice move, Smarty.

Shut up!

…I hate Port Angeles.

The sound of glass breaking against the wall made me jump.

"Holy shit!" I gasped as I spun around.

There was an answering round of laughter. I was met by four guys who were just stumbling around, all clearly drunk. Two of them had a beer in their hand and one of them had a piece of a broken bottle in his hand.

"Hey, beautiful," one of them called out.

"Hello," I said quietly, a reflex reaction.

Say hello to death, Bella. Brilliant.

Alright, white belt training class, do not fail me now!

"What's a fine thing like you doing out so late?"

I stumbled back a few steps as they slowly advanced towards me. I managed a shrug. "Oh, why does it interest any of you?"

"Boo!" the body I suddenly backed up into shouted, making me scream and fall to the ground. There was another round of drunken laughter, for two other men had now joined the four and they were creating a neat, little circle around me.

Ah shit.

I scrambled onto my feet, forcing my legs to hold my weight and now collapse under me.

"Leave me alone," I said, surprising myself with the strength of my voice. Even though I was shaking with fear, my voice was still strong. Or at least that's how it sounded to me.

I few of them chuckled. I glared murderously and tried to push past them, but their circle became too tight and they stopped me, shoving me back a step.

"Whoa, where do you think _you're _going?" one asked.

"Get out of my way," I told him.

I jumped and gasped when I felt a hand brush across my thigh.

"Don't touch me," I warned. I was touched again. "Don't touch me," I repeated.

"C'mon, she doesn't like that, man." Ah, at least I knew who the _half _drunk was.

I felt hands on me again.

Alright, someone's losing their head.

I spun around to the person I thought touched me last. "I said, don't touch me," I growled, bringing my knee up to meet his groin with as much force as I had.

He groaned and fell onto his knees, and the other idiots laughed.

"What the hell!" one of them exclaimed. we all turned to look in the same direction, where one of the other guys was just thrown to the ground, and rolled to my feet.

Jasper, in all his glory, and standing there. Looking mad as hell. I mean, you could freaking roast a weenie over him.

…I love Port Angeles.

"Who the hell are you?"

Jasper glared balefully at them. "Does it matter?" His voice was like ice, dripping with venom and razor sharp. "I'll be taking the girl now, and you're going to walk away quietly while you still can before I change my mind and kill you." He reached out and grabbed me by the arm, a little too lightly, and jerked me over to him. I stumbled to his side. "Better hurry now, my mind is fickle."

"Now hold on," one slurred, walking unsteadily closer to Jasper. "What gives you the right to…"

His sentence trailed off as Jasper let out a low, menacing growl. I cowered away from him but couldn't go too far, he was still holding my arms in an unbreakable grip. Damn, this cowboy wrestled freaking bulls! The other guys backed away from Jasper, but he didn't let them go so easily. The one who was just talking to him was still in his reach, so he punched him across the face. He dropped like a rock, and I screamed, my hands flying up to cover my mouth in shock. I heard a loud snap, I assumed it was the man's jaw breaking.

"Let's go," Jasper said flatly, turning around and dragging me with him.

He was walking too fast. I didn't want to try and keep up with his crazy pace. I dug my heels into the round and struggled to get out of his grip, but he just keep pulling, so I was stumbling helplessly by his side.

"Jasper, let go of me!" I shouted. "Let go! I can walk by myself!" I groaned. "Christ, Jasper, get the hell off me!"

He let go of me suddenly, and I nearly went flying onto the ground.

"What the hell is wrong with you, Isabella?" he demanded furiously.

I grimaced for a second at his use of my full name, but then glared at him, brushing myself off. "Excuse me? I think you're the one with the problem."

"Why didn't you run? You were just going to stand there and endure whatever those guys were going to do?"

"I don't run," I said, flipping my hair over my shoulder. "Do I look like I'm a part of the freaking track team? And have you ever worn high heels before? They're not made for running! Plus, i could have handled myself, thank you!"

"Oh, of course, I saw you had everything completely under control." He put his hands together. "Well, forgive me, Isabella. Next time I'll remember to leave you alone."

I glared at him. "What are you doing here?"

"It's none of your business," he answered coldly.

"Fine," I snapped. "I don't need to know anyway."

"Don't you have somewhere else to be?"

I sighed and folded my arms across my chest. "Yeah, home. But anywhere without you would do just well."

I turned and started to walk towards the direction I thought my truck was. As long as I looked like I knew where I was going so I didn't make a fool out of myself in front of Jasper.

"Alright, I'll drive you home," he offered.

"NO!" I shouted, turning back to him. he arched an eyebrow at my outburst, I cleared my throat and spoke more quietly. "I can drive home by myself, thanks," I said icily.

"You shouldn't drive in your condition," he insisted.

"What condition?"

"Your unstable condition," he said, walking over to me. He walked behind me and put his hands on my shoulders, then kneed me in the back of my knee. I gasped and fell onto my butt. "See? You can barely stay on your feet."

I glared at him from the ground. "You bastard!"

He suddenly picked me up from the ground and slung me over his shoulder.

"Jasper!" I shouted, pounding on his back with my fists. "Dammit, Jasper! Put me the hell down!"

"Of course. When we get to your car, then I'll drive you home." I could hear the smile in his voice.

"You're not driving me," I growled. "I would never give you the keys."

"You don't need to," he said. I heard jingling and strained to peek over my shoulder, seeing him swinging my keys around his finger. "I already have them."

"What the hell! How the—?" My keys were in my jacket pocket. "I'm going to kill you!" I threatened.

"Of course you are."

"Jasper! Let go of me! You can't do this!"

"Ha!" he said bitterly.

I screamed and hit his back and kicked my legs but he wouldn't let go of me. People stared as he paraded around, and my face flushed in anger and humiliation. After a minute or two I just gave up, lying limp over his shoulder.

"I'm going to kill you," I repeated.

"I know you are."

"I am _really _going to kill you."

"Of course."

"I am going to murder you mercilessly."

"I look forward to it."

I sighed and hung my head. "You are unbelievable."

"Well, start believing, darlin'."

**Ah Jasper...  
Thank you to everyone who read and reviewed in the previous chapters. hopefully you guys are still reading.  
Don't forget to take my poll! and check out my other stories, if you like this you might like my other stories. "Points of Authority." If you like Jasper, you'll love Major Damon. **

*****************DON'T FORGET: REVIEWERS GET TEASERS!**


	5. Chapter 5

"Beautiful night out for a drive," Jasper commented.

I didn't even look a t him. I just kept my arms folded tightly against my chest, glaring at the road.

_"When the thorn bush turns white that's when I'll come home. I am going out to see what I can sow. And I don't know where I'll go, and I don't know what I'll see, but I'll try not to bring it back home with me."_

Wow. He was way freaking better than listening to my crappy, staticy radio. But I still didn't speak. I was too angry. If I open my mouth, _baaaad _things will come out.

I saw Jasper smirk out of the corner of my eye. "Nothing more to say to me, huh? All that screaming, and I get silent ride home?"

I slowly turned my burning gaze on him, lifted my hand to my mouth, and pretended to zip my lips shut, lock it, and toss the key over my shoulder. I went back to scowling in silence at the road.

He chuckled. "I was under the impression we were friends, Bella. Was I wrong?"

"You're delusional," I said through my teeth. "You have got some freaking nerve, cowboy."

"So I'm told. I'm also told I'm charming, and sexy." His smirk turned evil.

"Don't forget modest."

Suddenly his lips were at my ear. "Who needs modest, darlin'. I don't need to be modest when people know what I am." His hand turned my face to his, our lips nearly touching.

I shoved his face away with as much force as I could, sliding myself as far away as was possible. "Pay attention to the freaking road," I shouted, waving my hand in front of me. "What the hell is wrong with you? Don't touch me again," I warned. "My dad makes me carry around pepper spray wherever I go, and I swear, I will use it on you."

Too bad I conveniently left it in my truck when I was almost raped tonight. Never thought I'd actually need that thing, and the one night I don't have it on me…bad things.

Maybe I'm a lot more accident-prone than I thought.

Jasper was still smirking though. At least he was looking at the road now. God, that smirk. It was just something that made me want to swoon and smack it off his face at the same time.

"What's your address?" He asked suddenly.

I stared out the window.

"Oh, well, if I don't know where you live I guess I'll just have to bring you home with me."

I sighed and reluctantly told him where I lived. He parked my truck in front of my house, shut it off, and hopped out before I could tell him to get out. he was somehow on my side of the truck before I got my door open.

I stood in front of him and held my hand out. "Keys," I demanded.

His eyebrow shot up in amusement and he put the keys in my waiting hand. I dropped them in my shopping bag and started walking towards the house when the front door opened and my dad appeared.

"Bella?" he called out.

"Yeah, dad. I'm home."

I got to the door, but my dad's arm was blocking my way to get in. he was staring past me.

"Who's your friend?"

I turned around to see that Jasper had followed me to the door and was standing behind me. He smiled politely at my dad.

"Jasper Whitlock, sir," Jasper said, giving a greeting nod. "It's a pleasure to meet you."

"Oh," my dad said, sounding a little surprised. "Well, hello, Jasper. Would you like to come in, sit down for a while? I was just watching the game." He opened the door a little wider.

I stepped into Jasper's way and smiled coldly at him. "That's alright, dad. Jasper can't stay. He already told me he has a history paper on the Civil War to write, so he really has to be going now." My smile turned falsely sweet. "Don't you Jasper?"

He looked like he was surprising laughter. "Yes. It's due tomorrow, so I really have to go. It'll be easy though, I know everything about the Civil War. I think it's the most interesting. I'm related, you know, to Major Jasper Whitlock, who was a Major in the Civil War at the time. He was the youngest Major in the Texas Cavalry, actually."

"Really?" My dad said, actually sounding interested. "That's pretty interesting." He paused, and there was an awkward silence between the three of us. "Well, you have a good night, Jasper," he said. "Drive safe, and under the speed limit."

Jasper raised his right hand. "Oh, I promise, Chief Swan. Of course."

My dad laughed. Jasper retreated backwards off the steps and my dad disappeared.

"We'll have to do this again sometime soon, Bella," Jasper said.

I gave him the middle finger and slammed the door in his face. I spun around, smiling in satisfaction, and wiped my hands on each other like I had just finished dirty work.

"And _that _is how you handle a Whitlock," I said smugly.

"Ain't that boy a little too old for you?" dad asked from the living room, his gaze fixed on the television screen. I could see he wasn't really watching it though, I could see the wheels turning in his head, trying to calculate Jasper's age and what's going on.

"Dad!" I whined. "He's just a friend from school."

"Oh, alright," he muttered. "But…just remember, Bells…if you ever need to talk about anything, I'm here for you."

"Dad, are we gonna talk boys?"

He sighed heavily. "No, I guess not."

I laughed. "Alright, dad. I'm kind of tired, so I'm just going to head up to bed. Okay?"

"I'll right, Bells. Goodnight."

"Night, dad!" I called, already on my way up the stairs.

I felt immediately comfortable once I got into my familiar room, shutting the door behind me. I threw my shopping bag onto the rocking chair in the corner of my room and took off my heels. God, why do beautiful shoes have to kill you by the end of the day? I took my cell phone out, about to throw it on my bed but stopped when I saw it blinking.

I had seven missed calls from Edward. Well…that's strange. But if it was seven calls it must be important, so I sat on my bed and called him back. It didn't even get through one ring before Edward picked up.

"Finally, Bella! Where the hell were you and what took you so long to call back?" he demanded.

"What? Are you not saying 'hi' to me anymore?"

"Hi," he said curtly.

I rolled my eyes. "Calm down, Edward. I was in Port Angeles, getting the jacket your _love _demanded. Is Alice there? How is she?"

There was a pause.

I froze, growing concerned and anxious. "Edward, is Alice okay?"

"She's okay," he said hesitantly. "She's not hurt or anything. But...she was just talking in her sleep. Muttering something about, 'Bella's in danger.'"

My breath caught in my throat.

"It just worried me, Bella," he continued. "She kept saying it, and I just needed to make sure you were okay. Of course, you could have saved me the anxiety attacks had you have answered me the first time I called." His tone was scolding towards the end.

"Sorry, Edward," I said, my voice just above a whisper. "I had my phone on silent, and got a little caught up with a few things."

"Is everything alright?"

"Sure, sure," I said quickly and absentmindedly. "I'm…fine. Everything's…fine. I have to go. I'll see you and Alice tomorrow, give her my best."

"Goodnight, Bella."

I clicked the end button on my phone. I wasn't aware that the phone had slipped through my fingers until I heard it hit the floor. I didn't bother bending over to pick it back up, I just fell back onto my bed and stared blankly at the ceiling, not really seeing it.

After a while of lying there like that, I finally moved. I fixed myself, taking off my jacket and kicking off my jeans, and curling up under my blanket. The alarm clock on my nightstand read almost ten o'clock. I took a deep breath and closed my eyes, trying to think about nothing.

Unfortunately, I don't get to have much control over what my mind thinks.

_I stumbled my way through the forest, completely lost. Where was I? Where was I going? I didn't know. I just kept walking, my breath coming out raggedly, growing more and more panicked._

_Suddenly, Edward and Alice appeared out of nowhere. _

_"Bella, you have to run!" Alice shouted urgently. "Please, Bella, run!"_

_"Go, Bella, go!" Edward shouted. "We'll try to help you. Please, run!"_

_I didn't ask for an explanation, I just ran. Which resulted in falling. Falling flat on my face, banging up my hands and knees. I quickly scrambled to get back up, but found that I could get up quick enough. I looked up from the ground to see a dark shadow advancing menacingly towards me, with bright red eyes it's only distinct feature. _

_I screamed and covered my face with my arms, but when I lowered my arms I found myself in my house. I gasped and spun around a few times, looking around. The house was dark, and cold. It seemed empty. It had a very unfriendly feeling about it. _

_"Hello?" I called out. "Dad! Are you home?"_

_I got no response. The television suddenly clicked on, and I gasped, spinning towards it. On screen popped up a picture of me._

_"Small-town girl Bella Swan was found dead in the woods of the northern area of Forks, Washington. Loved by many, she was the daughter of the chief of police in Forks. Police believe it was an animal attack that had the innocent life of Bella Swan, like it had the life of many. Yet police can't figure out what animal could be causing this. "_

_"No," I said, shaking my head, my eyes wide with fear. "No!" I screamed._

_"Hello, Bella," a smooth, dangerous voice said from behind me, coated with a southern accent._

_I spun around to see Jasper there, smiling evilly, his teeth sharp and pointed, his eyes bright red. And he lunged at me as I shrieked. _

I woke with a jolt, sucking in enough air to oxygenate a small continent, my eyes snapping open. I sat up so quickly it made my hit spin, scramble quickly backwards until my back was pressed against the headboard of my bed.

"Ow," I said stupidly, rubbing the back of my head. I had banged my head into the headboard, quite hard.

My body was sticky with cold sweat, my heart was racing. I ran a hand through my hair, pushing it away from my face.

"What the hell?" I asked myself.

I sat in my bed, staring straight ahead at the wall, trying to make sense of everything. _It was just a dream_. But what the hell _was _that? Jasper. Something was wrong with the Jasper in my dream. It wasn't right. This Jasper was evil. What _was_ that?

After a few minutes, I just ruled it off as my fear and paranoia of everything getting to me. It was just a dream, something my unconscious mind completely made up. It couldn't mean anything. _NOTHING_! JUST A DREAM!

I shook my head to myself, rubbing my face with my hands. After another a minute I got out of bed. I yawned and stretched, it felt good. My alarm clock read nearly ten, and I remembered it was Saturday.

Thank _God_!

I shuffled across the hall to the bathroom, shutting the door behind me.

I thought I wanted a shower, but it turns out I really didn't. the hot water didn't relax me like I hoped it would, the familiar scent of my strawberry shampoo didn't comfort me, the creamy body wash didn't soothe me. I became frustrated with myself and quickly finished up and got out.

I quickly dried myself off with a towel and wiped the steam away from the mirror so I could see my reflection. I cringed at myself. Something was wrong. I didn't look right. I didn't look like the—as Alice put it so many times— "confident bitch with brains and beauty" that I normally looked like. My skin looked paler—I didn't even know that was possible for me—and dark circles were beginning to faintly appear under my eyes. At least my eyes still had their sparkle—faintly.

Only one word came to mind.

_Jasper. _

What was he doing to me?

I'm gonna destroy that smug, arrogant bastard.

I took my frustration out on my hair. I roughly scrubbed at it with a towel, then attacked it with a hair brush. Every stroke would bring a frustrated cry of "OW!" to my lips because I was pulling my hair too hard, but I didn't care. I drowned at all other noise then by the hairdryer, finishing by completely drying my hair as it retained its curly shape.

I quickly threw on a pair of black skinny jeans and a pair of cute, strappy heels. Heels and me were odd things—they made me feel confident to wear, but they show me no mercy. Maybe I _should _just listen to Dr. Cullen and stop wearing heels. I also put on a gray tank top with a cute, blue jacket thrown over it.

I grabbed my bag, slipped my cell phone into my back pocket, and grabbed Alice's jacket. My cell phone vibrated on my way down the stairs, I ignored it. My dad was downstairs, putting his belt on.

"I'm leaving now, Bella," he said. "I'm sure when I'll be back, so you don't have to make anything for dinner. Just order pizza if you get hungry."

I grabbed a pop tart and took a bite before answering him. "Alright. I'm going out too, and I don't know when I'll be back." He froze and I glanced up at him. "I'll be with Alice and Edward," I added when I saw his expression.

He nodded. "Oh, okay." He sighed, lingering by the door. "Alright, have fun then," he said.

"Bye, dad."

I took another bite as I watched him leave. My phone buzzed again, I groaned and took it out. it was a 911 text from Edward.

"Shit!"

I ran and grabbed the keys off the counter and ran out to my truck. My dad was still just backing out of the driveway as I jumped in my truck. I started it up and my radio automatically came on blaring. I growled in frustration and banged on it once with my fist, it went off.

As I hurried to Alice's house, I pulled out my cell phone and called Edward. He picked up on the second ring.

"What happened, Edward?" I demanded.

"Nothing happened."

I nearly stomped on the brakes. "Alice? Where's Edward?"

"Mmmm…in the bathroom." I could hear the smile in her tinkling voice.

My truck began to slow. "But…didn't he just text me?"

"Nope. I did. I wanted to know when you were coming over, you were taking too long."

I ran a hand through my hair, half-frustrated and half-relieved. "What the fuck, Alice? I thought something happened! Maybe you shouldn't get your jacket, just for that."

I heard her gasp of horror. "Oh, no, please, Bella. C'mon, I'm, sorry. I really want that jacket."

I smirked. "I'm almost at your house, Alice, I gotta go. I have a lot to tell you."

"Oh," she said, seeming to know where I was going by my tone of voice. "See you later, Bella."

The line went dead. I shook my head and laughed, taking my phone away from my ear. I curiously checked my missed calls, I stopped when I saw I missed call from "Unavailable ID". I checked my text messages, and froze altogether when I saw the message from an unknown number.

_I can't wait to see you again, Bella. –MW_

I looked up, and screamed, dropping the phone. I slammed on the brakes before I could slam into the car in front of me. My car stopped, still in one piece. Horns blared from behind me, but I couldn't focus on anything for a few seconds. Everything seemed fuzzy, but after a few deep breaths, I almost returned to normal.

I turned onto Alice's street, driving cautiously now. Finally I got to her house, and I just parked in front of the house and jumped out, having to retrieve my phone from the truck floor. I hurried to the doorstep, knocked on the front door, and tapped my toe impatiently against the doorstep as I waited for the door to open. Edward opened the door, and I immediately pushed past him, ignoring his greeting.

"Yo, Alice!" I screamed up the stairs for her. "Get your little ass down here, pronto!"

Edward stepped in front of me, raising an eyebrow questioningly. I stuck my phone in his face.

"Do you know this number?" I asked.

His eyes narrowed at the screen of my phone, finally he shook his head. "Not familiar at all."

"Damn," I muttered.

Alice came skipping down the steps, I smirked and threw the jacket at her face. She caught it in surprise, then laughed and put it on. "Thank you, Bella!"

"Do you know this number?" I repeated, tossing her my phone.

She looked at the screen, muttering the text out loud. "What?" she asked the phone, just as confused as I seemed to be. She shrugged and handed it back to me.

I groaned and dropped onto the stairs, staring at the phone in my hand. "Who the fuck is _MW_?"

She sat next to me. "Clearly someone you know."

"Let's see," Edward said, looking off thoughtfully, "who do you know with the initials MW?"

"No one," I said immediately. "I know no one with those initials."

Edward took a seat on the stairs too. For the next fifteen minutes, we came up with every person in the school with the initials MW. There weren't many people.

I thought it was Jasper. It had to be him! He was messing with me again. This was not fair. I had to find something to make the score even. He was really starting to scare me with all this.

"Just forget it," Alice said. "It's just a stupid text, it's not important." Her face lit with excitement. "So, tell me what happened, Bella," she instructed. "And don't leave out a single detail."

So, I did. I told her everything from when I got to Port Angeles to when I got home, describing every detail carefully. I had fun watching her expression, her mouth hanging open when I was done.

"Wow," she breathed. "He's like your cowboy in shining skinny jeans."

I raised an eyebrow, then laughed.

"Bella," Edward said quietly, his face suddenly white. "I told you Alice was muttering in her sleep. She was saying you were in trouble. And you _were_."

Our laughing mood disappeared.

"What?" Alice asked. "You didn't tell me I was talking in my sleep."

"Well, you were. And you also knew Bella was in trouble."

We were silent for a long time, looking around at each other.

"Oh, c'mon!" I exclaimed. "She was just dreaming or something! What do you think happened? She's psychic or something like that?"

"She might be," he said with a shrug.

"You're insane!" I said, standing up. "It was just a dream!"

Neither of them responded. Edward didn't take his eyes off Alice, and Alice looked up at me. I sighed.

"Forget," I muttered, running a hand through my hair. "Look, guys, I gotta go. I've got business with a certain cowboy, anyone know where I might find him?"

"What are you planning, Bella?" Alice asked curiously, smirking.

"Hey, I am a crazy bitch on her period, and I am in a warpath. Now where the hell is he, because I have a feeling he's the one who sent this message." I sighed. "Now, let's see…. He doesn't seem like the library type…or the mall type…or the cemetery type…"

Edward smiled crookedly. "I heard he was going to hang out behind the parking lot at the middle school. You know, that spot were all those druggies hang out?"

I grimaced. "Where'd you hear that?"

"Oh, well, I might have been eavesdropping on him. I was a little curious."

"Oh, Jesus, Edward," I laughed. "Alright, I'll see you guys later."

"Bye, Bella!" They called in unison as I walked out the door.

**The next chapter WILL be better, i promise. don't forget REVIEWERS GET TEASERS!  
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	6. Chapter 6

**yay! more Jasper in this chapter! i love Jasper.**

**Also, the "The God of War" pictures i mentioned are up on my profile. apparently i never hit the save button, so they're up NOW. yay!**

I had stopped home for a quick shoe change, exchanging my heels for a pair of converse. And I was God thankful I did when I came to the seven and a half foot fence that separated the parking lot from the forest behind it where the druggies liked to hang.

Hoping Jasper really was there, a took hold of the fence and wedge my foot in between one of the holes in it, and climbed the fence. I got to the top with no scratches—success!—and jumped over onto the ground on the other side.

I looked at the fence and smiled, satisfied with myself. Then I walked straight on into the trees where I could dimly see the light of a fire burning. When I got to the spot, there were only just a few teens hanging around, drinking and doing drugs. As I was about to give up, I saw Jasper. He was sitting on the trunk of a fallen tree, distant from everyone else, staring off into the trees.

"Watchya lookin' at, Cowboy?" I asked, walking up behind him and ruffling his hair with my hand.

He smirked. "Ms. Isabella. Fancy meeting you here."

He lifted his beer bottle to his mouth, but I snatched it away from him before he could take a sip.

He stared at his hand where the beer used to be, then closed him mouth. "Yeah, sure, you can have a drink. It's not like I was drinking it or anything."

I rolled my eyes and took a swig from it, then handed it back to him. He took a drink too.

"You're the one I'm actually surprised to see here," I said.

He shrugged and looked around. "Well, it's not exactly my scene, but…."

"What _is _your scene?" I wondered.

He pursed his lips, thinking for a minute. "Open fields… however I always find myself in Italian Renaissance castles," he answered.

I raised an eyebrow, looking at him like he had three heads. "Oh okay. I think you're in the wrong time, cowboy, try the 1600's."

"Oh, maybe the 1800's," he said, grinning widely.

I smiled. "Yeah. Well. Anyway. I actually wanted to find you for a reason."

He smirked and looked up at me. "Yeeeees?" he drawled.

"Hold your reins, cowboy," I warned, taking my phone out of my back pocket. I brought up the message I was super pissed about and showed him. "Why did you send me that?" I demanded, instead of asked _if _he sent it. I couldn't help it. Who else could it have been? I went straight to accusing.

He looked at the phone, and his eyes narrowed at the screen. I swear I think I saw his eye color darken. Was that possible?

"I didn't send that, Bella," he said, his voice hard and low. Then he muttered something I couldn't hear, but I could tell he was seething. His hand closed around the bottle in his hand, and it exploded, shards of glass flying everywhere.

I let out a little yelp in surprise and jumped back a step. I looked down at his hands which were dripping with beer and somehow not cut by the sharp glass. "You _didn't _text me this?" I asked.

He stood up suddenly, causing me to stumble back another step. He towered over me, black eyes glaring down at me. He quickly brushed his hands and arm off to wipe away some glass and beer.

"Bella, I don't even know your phone number," he said. "How would I send you anything. And why would you automatically assume that it was me?"

"I just wanted to know who sent it," I said, sort of at a loss for words.

"You want to know? It's some idiot I know who's going to lose his head next time I see him, so don't you worry about." He took a step closer to me, backing me up into a tree. "But _do not_ ever accuse me of anything, Isabella."

He made a frustrated noise and spun around, stealing a beer out of someone's hand and taking a seat back on his tree trunk. I didn't make a move towards him.

"Are you drunk?" I asked, raising an eyebrow. He didn't seem like he was, but he didn't seem exactly right. "What the hell's your problem today?"

"Today?" he asked sharply. "It's every day. And it's not something I can explain to you. I'm just angry right now, you have no fucking idea."

My mouth nearly dropped at the curse that I couldn't believe just came out of his mouth. However I was too angry to be that shocked.

I raised my arms and dropped them in frustration. "Oh, you're angry. Well…join the fucking club!"

His mouth twisted into a snarl for just a second, then he looked away, taking a big gulp from his bottle.

"Need a little help?" he asked, sounding almost smug, like he knew I couldn't do it. How did he think I _got _here in the first place?

I answered him without turning around. "Not from you."

I grabbed onto the fence and began to climb it, trying to make it look like I really knew what I was doing and that I wasn't terrified that I would fall on my butt right in front of him. Luckily, I landed on the other side of the fence on my feet, unscathed, smiling smugly myself. I turned back to him.

"Suck on that, cowboy," I teased, then stuck my tongue out at him.

He smirked and folded his arms across his chest. "Can I count on seeing you here tomorrow?"

I pretended to think about it for a long moment. "Mmmm…maybe. It's a…fifty-fifty chance, let's say. The odds are in no one's favor."

"Well, that sucks."

I leaned closer to him, grabbing the fence that separated us. "So does life, my Texan friend."

I smirked and looked down, turning back around.

Just as I was about to take a step away, there was a loud squeal of car tires against the parking lot. My head snapped up quickly to see what was going on, and I found a car veering towards me. It was all very fast, but in an odd way it all seemed like it was happening in slow motion. I was frozen in my spot, not fast enough to move away from the out of control car, but I had enough time to think to myself. I had just enough time for my brain to process that this car was going to hit me.

Or so I thought.

The car spun, screeching against the parking lot, and just as it was about to hit me…it didn't. For two white hands flashed out in front of me, knocking me against the fence and onto the ground. I heard my head crack against the hard ground, and a wave of pain and shock went over me.

There was a sound of crushing metal, and I looked up to see Jasper standing over me. He had one hand braced on the car above the window, and one hand gripping underneath it. I somehow got almost halfway under the car.

"Damn!" he braked out through clenched teeth.

He swiftly grabbed under the car with his other hand, and used the other one to reach down and pull me out from under the car. Then he let go of the car, and it bounced back onto the ground. That happened all in about three seconds, and I was in Jasper's arms, gaping at the car in front of me.

There wasn't much I knew at this point. I wasn't entirely clear on what just happened. What I knew was this: The car was going to hit me, Jasper got onto my side of the fence in half a second, stopped the car from hitting me, and lifted it off the ground to keep it from crushing me. Why I wasn't entirely clear on what just happened was because none of that made sense. It's just not humanly possible. People can't stop cars or lift them off people, and be totally unscathed after all that is over.

"Bella?" Jasper asked me, low and intense, his lips at my ear. "Bella, look at me."

I forced my gaze away from the car—where drunken people were now stumbling out of—and looked up at Jasper.

"Bella, are you hurt? Can you hear me?" He growled and freed one of his arms from around and began to touch my head softly. "Damn! How hard did you hit your head, darlin'?" He sounded like he was talking to himself.

I shook my head back and forth, trying to clear it. That was the wrong move. The pain returned instantly, so great that a sob escaped my lips.

Jasper sighed. "Alright, alirght. Shh, everything's alright. Can you stand?"

"What?" I asked. I had heard perfectly what he said, but my mind was just far too jumbled to comprehend anything.

"Bella, can you stand up?" he asked, enunciating every word. "Can you walk?"

I nodded unsurely. "I think so."

He began to slowly help me up. My legs were a little shaky. I gripped my head in pain, my vision momentarily blurring. I stumbled back against Jasper but he helped keep me on my feet. I was able to regain my balance.

"Oh God," the drunken driver of the car said in shock, coming towards us. "I am so fucking sorry. I—"

Jasper cut off his slurring words by growling and grabbing the guy by the collar of his shirt, spinning around quickly and slamming the guy into the fence.

"Well maybe you shouldn't drive drunk, idiot," he growled. The guy looked genuinely terrified. Jasper ripped the bottle out of the guy's hand and threw it to the ground, smashing it into a thousand pieces. "You're lucky that's not your head." He let go of him, reluctantly it seemed, and grabbed me again.

I walked carefully with him as he walked me towards my truck, looking down at my feet so I wouldn't trip over them. I was feeling very lightheaded.

"Don't pass out," Jasper warned as he helped me into my truck. He reached into my back pocket for my keys, then jumped into the driver's seat.

"Where are we going?" I questioned, looking at the slightly blurry road.

"Bella, you need a hospital." He stepped on the gas pedal harder, then clenched his teeth together. "And a new fucking truck," he muttered.

Just the word 'hospital' made me cringe. But I suppose it is time for my annual monthly visit. But I was still reluctant to go anywhere.

"Jasper, I'm fine," I said. "I…I want to go home. Just home."

"Hospital first," he insisted.

"No," I whined.

"Bella, you hit your head much harder than you think, I think."

"I don't care. I'm tired, I wanna go home. Take me home."

"Isabella! I'm taking you to the fucking doctors! End of discussion!"

"Fine," I mumbled. I was too tired to argue with a furious Jasper. "Do whatever the hell you want."

I drifted off into sleep as soon as I finished my sentence.

OoOoOoOoOoOoOoOo

Beep.

Beep.

Beep.

"What the hell?" I groaned, rolling over.

Beep.

Beep.

Beep.

I sighed deeply in frustration, and opened my eyes. Bright white lights blinded me for a second, then I recognized the too familiar hospital room. And the stupid beeping was a stupid little thing that monitored my heart rate. I ripped it off me, it was a useless device, my heart was just fine.

"Um, that's doctor stuff, Bella. And I don't think you should be touching it."

I looked up in surprise to see Jasper standing over me. I sat up quickly, glancing down at my body to see if there were any more unnecessary wires attached to my body. God, this was embarrassing.

Jasper slowly stepped closer to me, then sat down on the bed at my feet, never taking his eyes off mine.

"I've been here before, Jasper," I said. "I practically know every inch of this hospital, friends with all the doctors, and know what all this equipment is and what it does."

"That's right," Dr. Cullen said as he entered the room. He smiled at me. "Bella's a regular patient here."

"And damn proud of it," I said. I laughed with him. "Hi, Dr. Cullen."

"I'm glad you're finally awake, Bella," he said, setting his clipboard down on a table next to my bed. He looked at Jasper. "Mr. Whitlock."

Jasper straightened slightly, his eyes narrowing slightly. He slowly stood up—he was the same height as Dr. Cullen—and moved away from the bed. I could feel the tension between them—what the hell was that about?

Dr. Cullen moved closer to me and tilted my head up to his. He studied my face for a second, then his hands moved to gently touch my head until he found a sensitive spot that made me wince slightly.

"Yes, you have a nice bump there," he muttered. He sighed and stepped back. "How do you feel, Bella?"

"I feel fine," I answered honestly.

"You don't feel sick? Tired?"

"Nope."

"Do you remember what happened?"

I was about to answer him, but froze. "I don't remember," I whispered in horror. "Why don't I remember?"

"You have a mild concussion, Bella," Dr. Cullen said. "Don't worry, nothing is life threatening. You'll be just fine."

"So…what happened?" I asked.

"Car accident," Jasper answered immediately. "It was a car accident. Some drunk driver almost hit you with a car, but I pulled you out of the way in time. Unfortunately you hit your head on the ground rather hard."

"Car accident," I repeated to myself.

"You should remember, Bella," Dr. Cullen told me. "Your memory should return to you shortly."

"Good," I said. "Um…can I get out of here now?"

"If you feel well, Bella," Jasper said before Dr. Cullen opened his mouth.

I glared at him. "Hey, hey, hey. You're not the doctor. I wasn't talking to you." I looked back at Dr. Cullen.

I hint of smile played at the corners of his mouth. "Well, Bella, if you do want to you certainly can. You're well enough, it seems. If you feel dizzy, please come back here. If your head hurts, just take some Tylenol. Okay?"

I smiled and jumped off the bed. "Yes, Dr. Cullen. Thank you."

"You're welcome, Bella. I'll see you in…a week?"

I smirked and shot him a look, he chuckled.

"Come, Bella," Jasper said, inclining his head towards the door. "I'll drive you home."

"Bye, Dr. Cullen," I said, waving as I walked out the door.

Jasper lingered in the room for a second, then followed behind me. I didn't need to wait for him, I knew my way around the hospital quite well. He was immediately by my side though. I expected him to say something, but he didn't. I didn't have anything to say either, so I kept my mouth closed. The silence became a little uncomfortable, so I just tried to ignore that he was with me. It worked until we got to my truck in the parking lot.

The first minute of the ride was silent, until I finally decided to break it.

"You pulled me out of the way?" I asked quietly.

I saw his nod out of the corner of my eye. "Yes."

"You saved my life," I realized. I looked at him. "Thank you," I said sincerely.

You looked at me for a second, then back at the road. "You're welcome," he said. The way he said it was strange though, dark. I didn't like it.

I leaned my cheek on my hand and looked out the window, just looking. I didn't really feel like thinking about anything, I just watched the trees and houses go by. Jasper drove too fast.

I didn't think about anything until I saw a police cruiser on the street. Even after seeing it, it took me a few seconds to process anything.

"Does Charlie know about this?" I asked. "Did anyone tell him what happened?"

"No, he doesn't know."

"Dr. Cullen didn't think about calling him?" I asked in disbelief.

"I told him not to."

I looked at him in surprise. "What? Why?"

He seemed to hesitate for a second, then shrugged. "I figured you probably didn't want him to know. You know how parents can be. There was no need for him to be going crazy?"

"I guess you're right," I admitted. "You would have flipped out. And then called mom too." I felt hate growing inside me. "Not that she would care," I muttered.

"Your own mother wouldn't care if you almost got hit by a car?" Jasper asked incredulously.

"My own mother wouldn't care if I _did _get hit by a car."

"That's not true, of course she would."

I glared at the road, my hand clenching into fists. "You don't know my mother. I hate her, and she hates me. She's never cared a damn about me, or anyone really. Why do you think I moved to this stupid town? I had to get away from her. My life was hell there." I sighed in anger and looked out the window, forcing myself to calm down. "I'm happier here. Here I have awesome friends, people who actually care about me. And I love my dad. He's a much better parent then my mother could ever be, and I'm happier here with him."

"At least you're happy."

We were at my house now, and my dad's car wasn't in the driveway so I knew he wasn't home. Jasper parked my truck in the driveway.

"Yep," I agreed. "At least."

He handed my keys over to me and we both jumped out of the truck. He followed me to the front door, where I stopped and spun towards him.

"Um…do you wanna come in?" I offered. "It's probably a little messy in there, but…."

He smiled. "I'd love to, thank you."

I smiled and unlocked the door, swinging the door open into the dark house. I stepped inside, Jasper behind me, and reached out to flick on the lights. Nothing happened when I flicked the switch. I looked up and switched the light on and off about a dozen times.

"Um…," I said. "I guess we have no electricity."

He chuckled. "It's alright. I like the dark anyway."

I thought I felt my heat skip a few beats. I shut the front door and threw my keys into the dark living room, where I think they landed on the couch. I watched jasper saunter around, looking around curiously. I sighed and looked around too, starting to feel a little uncomfortable again.

"Do you want something to eat or drink?" I asked, even though I couldn't really make anything without electricity.

"No, thank you, I'm fine."

"Okay," I muttered, turning around towards the kitchen. I got a glass out of one of the cabinets and filled it up with water from the sink. I took a sip.

It came out of nowhere. I don't know what happened, but suddenly I just remembered. Everything played out in my head like I was re-seeing it in front of my eyes. It wasn't a just a car accident, and Jasper didn't just pull me out of the way.

I didn't feel the cup of water slip from my hands until it hit the floor. Shards of glass went in every direction and water splattered up the legs of my pants. Jasper was quickly in front of me.

"Bella?"

I looked up at him. "I remember," I said. "You stopped the car from hitting me. You pushed it away from me with your hand. You _lifted _it _off of me_."

He raised an eyebrow. "Bella, I don't think you know what you're saying. Dr. Cullen told you how hard you hit your head, maybe you need more sleep."

"I know what I saw," I exclaimed in anger. "How did you do that? Normal people can't do things like that."

"Bella." His cold hand moved to my face. "I did not lift a car off you."

I sighed in frustration and grabbed his wrist, taking his hand away from my face. Then I stopped, and looked down at his wrist.

There was _no pulse_.

I looked up at him in horror. "What are you?" I demanded.

He just kept looking at me, his face expressionless.

"You're able to do impossible things. You have no pulse. You're not human. _What are you?_"

"You don't want to know," he said darkly.

Honestly, I wasn't sure if I did or didn't want to know. But now I know for sure you was something else, not human.

"I'll figure it out," I vowed.

His eye grew darker, and he stepped closer to me, glass crunching under his shoes. he braced his hands on the counter on either side of me, trapping me between the counter and him. He leaned close to my face, our noses nearly touching.

"That would be extremely bad for you," he threatened. "Leave it alone, Isabella."

I was shaking from fear, so much I couldn't find anything to say. All I could do was stare back into his black eyes and pray he didn't hurt me.

"This isn't something you want to mess with," he continued. "If you play with fire, I guarantee you will get burned. I'm nothing you need to know. But if you want to risk your life, be my guest. I'll have much fun with you." Then he leaned closer, and like he times before, whispered Good With Grenades lyrics in my ear. _"You will believe my lies, I'm not like other guys. That sparkle in my eyes is just part of my disguise."_

I was frozen with terror as I felt his cold lips brush against my neck. He inhaled deeply, then slowly pulled back. Finally he took a step away.

_"You're in a place for fear, lips are for biting here."_

**Reviewers get teasers! you're gonna want this one. **


	7. Chapter 7

**Wow guys! We made to 100 reviews! thank you so much, i really love you guys! thank you for reading! So, we're getting realy close to the good stuff here. I know this chapter's a little short, and i'm sorry for that. but enjoy enyway! **

I paced frantically around my room, gripping at my face and at my hair and at my clothes. I had been doing nothing but that since Jasper left, leaving me with his whispered threats echoing in my ears. I was in a full out panic.

I didn't know what to do. What _could _I do? I knew I couldn't just sit around and do nothing. But…hell I didn't even know what I was dealing with!

Jasper. I always knew there was something not right about him, something more than normal. Now I know for sure he isn't. He practically confessed to me that he wasn't human! But what was he? Dammit, what?

I stopped pacing, breathing to try and calm myself down.

_Alright, Bella. Calm down. Right now, you're alright. You're not dead yet. Just back up a few steps and we'll go through this slowly. _

I stopped myself and thought. I thought hard through every moment since Jasper showed up at school. Not much came up as unusual until I remember the whole Port Angeles fiasco.

Mysterious disappearances everywhere. Killings and animal attacks on hikers.

_It was a small, leather-bound book. The cover read, "Quileute Legends.'"_

I gasped as I looked up quickly, sparks going off in my head like fireworks. I quickly went over to my desk, swatting all the papers off it and moving my laptop to the middle of it. I sat dow and opened it up, clicking the start button.

I drummed my fingers impatiently on the desk as I waited for my laptop to start up. It finally came on and I brought up the internet, my homepage already set to my favorite search engine. Google.

I quickly typed in, "Quileute Legends." I waited eagerly for the results.

_Quileute Legends (Folklore, Myths, and Traditional Indian Stories)_

That one looked promising. I quickly clicked on that and scrolled down the site, skimming through the words. There were a lot of things it spoke about. Q'wati, Raven, Thunderbird, Dask'ity… None of them were familiar things to me, until three familiar words caught my eye. _The Cold One. _

I quickly hit the back button and googled, "The Cold One."

_The Cold One: Apotamkin_

I clicked on that. The first thing that came up was the picture I had seen in the Quileute Legends book from that little Indian looking bookstore. The strange hieroglyphic creature eating the people.

**"**_**The only defense against the fanged Apotamkin is vast distance. This hairy demon of the dark is known to sink his long fangs into unwitting children who venture out alone."**_

I read on.

_**Ungodly speed**_

_Jasper got onto my side of the fence in half a second…_

_**Fearsome, inhuman strength**_

…_stopped the car from hitting me, and lifted it off the ground to keep it from crushing me._

_**"method of transformation"**_

_**…a human can undergo the transformation into Apotamkin, the cold one…**_

_**Fangs**_

_I spun around to see Jasper there, smiling evilly, his teeth sharp and pointed, his eyes bright red._

_**Immortal drink**_

_**Cold-skinned**_

_I gasped and jerked my hand away from his. "Jesus, your skin is ice cold!"_

_**Drinks blood **_

My breath caught in my throat, and I found myself unable to breathe as I read further on, coming to the last sentence.

"**Vampire" like creatures…**

An odd noise echoed through the room, and it took me a few seconds to understand that the strange little sob sound came from me. I stared at the words before I finally controlled myself and went back to Google, typing in one simple and terrifying word this time.

_Vampire._

If I wasn't so frozen with tension I would have rolled my eyes at the website I found: Vampires A-Z. Clever and too convenient. I waited anxiously for the page to load, clicking closed the adds that popped up everywhere.

_**"Throughout the vast shadowy world of ghosts and demons there is no figure so terrible, no figure so dreaded and abhorred, yet dight with such fearful fascination, as the vampire, who is himself neither ghost nor demon, but yet who partakes the dark natures and possesses the mysterious and terrible qualities of both."**_

_**"What is a vampire? A vampire is a blood drinker, a soul taker, a life stealer. Demons, monsters… Or just a figment of our imagination? Symbolization for something cruel and unjust? Or are there real vampire among us, straight from our nightmares? Hiding, waiting…waiting for you to be alone…waiting to kill. Haven't you ever wondered what's hiding in the dark, just where you can't see it but so close you can almost touch it? Feeling your heart race and pound in your chest, your blood run cold, excitement and horror at the same time? This is what a vampire is. And he who believes in the vampire are the ones who will not survive."**_

I shut the laptop sharply and stood up quickly, running a hand through my hair. I felt like I couldn't breathe. I didn't know what was wrong with me, but I couldn't control myself.

I starting pacing quickly around my room again, going back and forth and back and forth in the tiny space. My hand ran through my hair and gripped at it like I was going to rip it out of my head. I was going insane, I could feel it.

I tried to control my breathing, flopping down onto my bed. I stared up at the ceiling, feeling hopeless…crazy…confused…terrified.

OoOoOoOo

"Well, well, well," a familiar southern drawl said sinisterly. "I figured you would be here."

I closed my eyes for a brief second, trying to slow my breathing. I felt like I was suffocating though. I was sitting in the same spot on the tree trunk that Jasper had been sitting on just yesterday, drinking his bear with his eyes on fire. I wanted to stand up and face him, but I couldn't even turn around. I could feel my fingernails digging into the tree.

"I warned you, did I? But you just couldn't leave it alone, could you, darlin'? I suspect you've been lying on your bed all day and night, listening to 'Piano Man' on an endless loop and playing your pretend harmonica?" Jasper's voice was amused and bitter.

"Don't joke," I was barely able to choke out.

He made a strange hissing sound and was suddenly right behind me, one hand resting at the base of my neck and the other brushed lightly across my cheek, pulling my air back. I shuddered, goose bumps breaking out on my skin.

He whispered—almost hissed—in my ear, "Believe now, darlin'?"

I made an odd whimpering sound and moved away from him, spinning around so I could see him. There wasn't a trace of humor on his face. He had completely transformed into a different Jasper than I met on the that first school day. This Jasper was furious, looked like he never smiled, he stood up straighter, held his head higher, his black eyes were slightly narrowed at me. And he terrified the crap out of me. This Jasper was just like—if not worse than—the Jasper from my nightmare.

And I _did _believe. How could I not?

"I know what you are," I said.

He stared at me for a few seconds, then casually stepped over the tree trunk and stalked towards me until he was right in front of me and I stopped tripping backwards in a stupid attempt to put distance between us.

"Then say it," he commanded, his voice cold as ice and razor sharp. "Out loud."

"Vampire," I said as fiercely as I could manage, looking into his black eyes.

"Are you afraid?" he asked, his mood not changing. He didn't seem surprised that I knew, and he didn't even try to deny it.

"No," I lied, even though every part of my brain was screaming, "FUCK YES!"

He chuckled humorously and grabbed my jaw with that inhuman strength that I couldn't break free from and was also hurting me.

"I can make you be," he said darkly.

However, he let go of me a few seconds later, jerking me backwards. I stumbled but managed to regain my balance before I fell.

"I can tell how afraid you are, Isabella. Who the fuck do you think you're fooling?" he spat.

"Alright, so you know I'm afraid," I said, finally finding my voice. "What do you have to gain by that?"

His eyes blazed. "Pleasure," he growled, but then quickly regained his composure. "It doesn't matter to me. Let's just say, Isabella, that you are not my target currently. You have nothing to fear, for now. But trust me, you won't be forgotten. I'll come back for you."

And with that, he vanished.


	8. Chapter 8

**YAY! New chapter! Finally, this is getting good!  
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Check out my new story, too. "Golden Eyes"  
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I could not _believe _what I was doing.

There was a psycho vampire on the loose, and I was here, at school.

But what could I do? I've pondered this question all night long with no sleep, and came to the obvious conclusion that _there was nothing I could do_. And I had school today, so I might as well go. What was I supposed to tell my dad when he asks why I wasn't at school or why I wasn't going. "Oh, there's a vampire who wants me dead so I didn't really fell like going to school. But it's alright, everything's cool. You go have fun fishing today."

I turned towards the nearest locker and began slamming my head into it repeatedly.

"Um…that's my locker. What are you doing?" a nasally voice asked from behind me.

I paused my self-infliction to glare at the awkward, pimply boy standing behind me. "It's being occupied, can't you see?' I snapped. "Go away please."

Hesitantly, the boy turned and walked away. I continued hitting my head against the locker, and it began to feel numb, like every part of me was beginning to feel. People stared at me like I had nine heads and a golden retriever's tail. At this point, I didn't care if I did. My world was coming to an end anyway.

The last minute bell was what finally caught my attention. I was standing outside of my biology class. I looked left. No Jasper. I looked right. Still no Jasper. I carefully peered into the classroom. My seat and the one next to that was empty. Hesitantly, I stepped into the classroom and made my way to my seat.

I closed my eyes and held my breath, every tick of the clock roaring in my ears, and every beat of my heart louder than that. The final bell made me jump, but I kept my eyes shut still. The teacher began her lesson, and I finally opened my eyes.

Without moving my head, I looked at the door. I watched it, but no one came in. then I let my eyes slid to my left, and I saw the empty stool next to me.

Jasper was not here today.

That seemed like a good thing—a great thing!—for me. But was it really? If he wasn't here at school, where was he? Most importantly, _what was he doing_?

Nervously chewing on my bottom lip—and way beyond being able to listen to the teacher—I picked up a pencil in my slightly shaky hand and began to doodle absentmindedly. I didn't look down at my notebook until the class was over and my hand had stopped moving, mostly because my pencil had reached the point where it needed to be sharpened or you couldn't write with it anymore.

Staring up at me from my notebook where several pairs of eyes, cold and angry. Just like Jasper's.

I stood up so quickly my stool nearly toppled over. I clawed the page out of my book, crumpled it, and slammed it into the garbage pail. Everyone in the class stared at me, even the teacher, but I ignored them all, grabbed my books, and stalked out of the class room. I elbowed my way through the crowded halls and made it, alive, to the cafeteria. Right. Only _I _would still think about human stampedes when I'm number two on a bloodthirsty vampire's hit list. Brilliant.

And it was amazing to even me that I was still vain enough to wonder why I was number two. Why wasn't I good enough to be number one? What did number one have that I didn't?

_Face to locker door._

Now fuming to myself, I stomped into the cafeteria, grumbling incoherent things to myself. I saw Edward and Alice sitting at our table near the window, which only made me more angry. I walked up behind Edward and dumped my books over his head, something making a loud _thump _as it hit his head. He cringed until things stopped falling, then turned to glare at me.

"Mason, you son of a bitch," I growled.

"What the hell, Swan?" he growled back.

"I called you about forty times, why didn't you answer me?" I demanded, putting my hands on my hips and tapping my foot impatiently.

"Well, I'm sorry, but—" He stopped himself abruptly.

I raised an eyebrow. "But what?" He only replied by muttering something too low for me to hear. "What?" I leaned closer. "I didn't catch that."

"I dropped my cell phone in the toilet!" He exploded. "Alright?"

I blinked, then exploded into laughter. "You—You—dropped—? You're kid—kidding, right?" I couldn't even get my words out right through my laughter.

"No," he said seriously. "It fell right into the toilet. And this was a public toilet, so, a) there was no way in hell I was going to reach in for it, and b) it was an automatically flushing toilet, so…. Yeah, and with its last dying breath it called my father. All he heard was a _ffflussshhhh._"

"You are an idiot!" I cackled. When I finally stopped laughing, I looked coldly at Alice. "And what's your excuse?"

"Victim of a treasure hunt," she said. "My little cousin came over, and I'll just say that he hides things _damn _good and draws a very complicated map to follow."

I thought about it and decided to be nice this time. "Pardoned," I granted. Then I looked at Edward. "You, however, are still punishable for your stupidity."

He groaned tiredly. "What do I have to do?"

"Up!" I commanded. Hesitantly, he stood up. I made a motion for him to turn around, he did until his back was to me. Then I stood up on the cafeteria bench and jumped onto his back, hooking my arms around his neck and locking my legs around his waist. "'Round the cafeteria once," I said, grinning widely.

And so, with me clinging onto his back like a koala, he made his way around the perimeter of the cafeteria. Everyone stared at us, either like we were crazy or they were laughing. However, _everyone _laughed when one of the security guards told us to cut it out. Edward stopped momentarily at his command but I refused to let go of him and told him to run. He didn't, but he did increase in speed. Finally we made it back to where we began, and Alice looked like she was having trouble breathing from the laughing. I shimmied down off of Edward and took my seat across from Alice, retrieving my stuff from off the floor. Ashamed, Edward sat down, too.

"You have no mercy," Edward muttered darkly.

I smirked.

"Speaking of," Alice said, leaning on her hands across the table, "how's Jasper?"

I paled at his name. "I don't think I'll be seeing him anymore," I answered quietly.

Her smiled faded. "Well, why the hell not?"

I shrugged weakly. "Not interested anymore."

"Excuse me?" she practically shrieked in outrage. "You're telling me that you're not interested in that sexy mother fucker? Are you on something? Seriously, are you blind?"

I narrowed my eyes at her. "You know, Alice, it's not just all about the looks."

They both stared at me, then threw their heads back in laughter. I stood up and gathered my things angrily and began to walk away. If only they knew the truth. They had no freaking idea what I was dealing with.

"Wait, wait, Bella," Alice pleaded.

I paused for a second, then slowly turned back around.

She gave me an apologetic look. "I'm sorry, Bella. If you don't like him, that's alright. It's just, you know, we always talk about guys' looks, and it was weird to hear that from you. So…what's his problem? Nose-picker?" She snickered.

And she was back to the joking already.

_"He's a vampire!"_ I wanted to scream at them. _"He's a fucking vampire and he wants to kill us all!"_

"It's alright," I said, ignoring her question. "Look, I'm just going to be in the library if you need me." I began to turn away but stop suddenly, turning back around quickly. "Oh, can you guys just promise me one thing? Just meet me here when school ends."

Sure Jasper wasn't here, but I still wanted to know where they were at all times and that they were safe. It really made me have a heart attack yesterday when I couldn't reach either one of them by phone.

"Sure," they both easily agreed.

OoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoO

The eighth period bell finally rung. I had spent the rest of the periods after lunch in the library, hiding in the back behind a shelf where no one went and reading. I was surprised I didn't get caught ditching yet, but I'd probably be nabbed for it tomorrow. I just didn't want to go to my classes.

I replaced _Wuthering Heights_ back on the shelf and threw the rest of my things in my backpack. Tossing my backpack on my shoulder, I snuck back out of the library and into the crowded, rushing halls. Sliding and squeezing past people, I hurried to the cafeteria so I wouldn't keep Edward and Alice waiting.

My walk slowed as I approached the alone Edward, holding both his and Alice's books in his hands. He looked like he was thinking, distracted, and didn't notice me until I spoke up.

"Where's Alice?" I asked.

He sighed and looked at his watch. "She said she had to go to her gym locker to get something she left, and that was about ten minutes ago. But, it's Alice, she's probably having some sort of fashion problem or—wait! Bella, where are you going?"

I didn't wait for him to finish talking. I dropped my things at his feet and ran without thinking. The gym was all the way at the end of the hallway, but I ran, carelessly shoving people out of my way. It didn't seem to me like I could get there fast enough. I finally made it to the gym, I skidded around the corner, nearly falling onto the floor. And I rounded the corner into the girls' locker room, bursting in threw the closed door.

Surely enough, there was Alice.

And there was Jasper, with his hand at Alice's throat, pinning her up against the lockers, his bared teeth just at the skin of her neck. **(A/N HA! I considered ending it right here.)**

I wasn't aware that I had shouted his name until I heard it echo through the empty locker room. He froze, then slowly pulled his teeth away from Alice's neck, turning to look at me with that cruel smirk.

"Miss Isabella," he said quietly. "How nice it is to see you here."

Alice looked at me. I could see the fear in her eyes. She was also shaking from it, sobbing quietly.

"Let her go," I said, surprised by how strong my voice was.

"Now, you see, I have just a slight problem with that," he said. "I can't."

"_She's _your target?" I cried, my voice going up a few octaves. "Why?"

Jasper pulled Alice away from the lockers, making her yelp in surprise, and spun her towards me. My eyes locked with Alice's. Jasper held her against him, keeping his mouth just at her neck as he spoke to me.

"Well, you see, little Alice here has quite a gift," he said. "A remarkable gift that could not go unnoticed by me. I told you I was on a mission, Isabella, and that is to find humans who may have special talents."

"What gift?" I asked quietly.

"Premonition," he answered. "A little gift that lets you know things about the future."

Alice shook her head, crying a little more loudly, struggling a little to get out of Jasper's arms. "No, I don't, I swear," she cried.

"Be quiet, you," he growled lowly into her ear.

"So what do you want with her?" I demanded.

"Well, if humans with special abilities become vampires, then their abilities are amplified. For example, when I was human, I was especially charismatic and sensitive to the emotions of the people around me. Now, as a vampire, I can feel the emotions of the people around me, as well as manipulate them."

I sucked in air sharply. If what he was telling was true, than he felt every emotion I did when he was around, that included a lot of lust.

He smirked. "For example, I can feel that right now you are extremely embarrassed and angry. But if I wanted to, I could make you afraid or feel attracted to me."

My hands balled into fists at my sides. "It's hard to imagine that you were ever human," I said.

He ignored me. "Anyway, with Alice here, I can't let her go because I need her. I was going to turn her into a vampire so she will be a talented vampire like myself, most certainly she will be able to look into the future. I've seen many talents, but that's a first."

For a long time I just looked between Alice and Jasper, finally I forced myself to swallow and do something. There was no way I could let my best friend become a vampire, and I was going to prevent that if it killed me.

"All you need is a vampire?" I asked.

"A vampire of talent is preferred."

"Take me," I offered. "Instead of taking Alice, take me. Change me, do whatever, I don't care! Just let Alice go."

Alice shook her head and me frantically.

"You'll take her place?" Jasper asked, and I nodded slowly. He made a frustrated noise and shoved Alice out of his arms, sending her stumbling into mine. "I have to think about this."

Alice shook and cried into my arms, her legs giving out under her. I lowered her and myself to the floor. I gave her a weak smile.

"Hey, Alice, it's alright." I rested my hand on her cheek. "It's going to be alright, everything is going to be fine. You're going to be fine."

She shook her head. "Bella, no. I can't let you do this, I'm sorry, I can't let you do this. I'll go with him."

"Alice, no way in hell am I letting that happen. Just trust me, please."

"Bella, you can't, I can't let you," she repeated.

"Alice, wouldn't you do the same for me?" I asked. She didn't answer. "See? You know why I have to do this."

"But how can I stand by and watch?"

"Because I'm asking you to," I said, staring deeply into her eyes. "Because I'm begging you to." I pulled her in for a tight hug. "I'll be back," I whispered in her ear. "I promise I'll be fine."

Jasper was waiting when I looked up. I slowly stood up in front of him, not being able to look up at him. Alice fought to get to her feet.

"Very well, Isabella. I accept your offer. You will go with me without a fuss, quietly. Is that understood?"

I nodded.

"Answer me out loud," he said, his voice beginning to leak with impatience.

"I understand," I said, my voice breaking.

"Good. Now, I don't know how long you'll be with me, but as soon as possible I need to get you to Aro to see if you're worth turning or not." He stepped away from me, and I spun to see him grab Alice. "And you," he growled. "If you so much as breathe a single word of this, your friend is as good as dead, or worse. Do you understand that? One word, and I'll kill everyone you've ever met and change you into a vampire."

A loud sob escaped her, but she nodded. He let her go, and she once again collapsed onto the floor. He turned quickly back to me and grabbed my arm, taking me out of the locker room so fast that I didn't get to glance back at Alice.

**You know how it works, reviewers get teasers, as always. Thank you for reading!**


	9. Chapter 9

**Hey guys! wow. I'm so sorry this took so long to update. This was definitely the longest i ever took to update a chapter for this story. 've just been really busy lately. Lots of regents tests for school, but school's out now, yay! Aaaaand, my sister finally just had her baby! I'm an aunt! So thrilled, welcoming little baby Brandon into the family. but anyway, read, ENJOY!**

I woke up a little disoriented, with a bit of a headache.

And then the memories came flooding back to me suddenly, sucking a loud gasp out of me as I woke up. I was in a car, curled up on the passenger's seat. None other than Satan's spawn himself was driving the car. I had a jacket laid over me, and I knew it was his because it smelt like him. I looked at the blonde headed devil questioningly.

"You were shivering in your sleep," he said.

I shoved the jacket off me in disgust. "I would rather freeze to death," I said acidly.

He shrugged. "Suit yourself."

I glared at the road so hard I was convinced that with enough mind power I could split it half. "Where are we going?" I demanded.

"We are on our way to the wide open spaces of Circle, Montana, darlin'," he answered.

"Why?" I nearly shrieked. "What's in there? Why are we going there?"

"Firstly," he said in a hard voice, his hands tightly on the steering wheel, "take your hand off the door handle and calm down."

I hadn't even realized I was holding onto it, like I was getting ready to spring it open and do a tuck-and-roll out of the car. Although something tells me I wouldn't even get out of the car. But I slowly uncurled my fingers from around the handle and balled my hand into a fist, squeezing it with my other hand.

"We're going there because I need to. I can't take you to Aro straight away because I have far too much to deal with right now. I have to get back to Montana as quickly as possible."

"Who's Aro?" I barely breathed, too afraid to really want to know the answer.

"You could say that Aro is the man I work for. However, _I _wouldn't say that because I work for no one. People work for me. That's a little digressing though. Aro is the head of the Volturi. The Volturi is a very powerful coven of vampires who work for enforcing the laws of the vampire world. It's also the largest coven. Aro likes to collect talents for his Volturi guard. Vampires with special talents that will be loyal to him and fight for him and protect him, just like a very powerful army. And it's worked, for no vampires dare to stand up to him because they know he can kill them in an instant."

I fought a smile at this information he admitted. "So he can kill you, too," I said. The image in my head was too pleasant.

"God no," he said, sounding disgusted. "Aro knows how easily I can kill him and he respects me."

My smile vanished instantly.

"And he should," he continued, "or else he would have no Volturi guard. When it comes all down to it, I'm actually the one that keeps him alive. He knows that."

"He only takes vampires with special powers?" I asked.

"Yes. It's all very strict. Vampires who can be controlled, influenced, loyal, and have potential. Many vampires have powers, but he must have ones with great, outstanding gifts."

"But I'm not a vampire," I whispered. "And I don't know if I have an special gifts."

"Well, you're not a vampire yet," he said darkly. "And we'll find out if you have a gift."

I was on the verge of tears. They filled my eyes but I fought them back. I was focusing on taking deep, calming breaths to stop myself from doing that hyperventilating thing I do before and while I'm crying.

"What if I don't have a gift?"

"It'd be entirely up to me what's to be done about you if that was the case."

"Okay," I said, turning to look at him fiercely. "But you remember that we had a deal," I said sharply. "No matter what happens to me, whether I have a gift or not or you kill me or not or whatever, you can't go back to Forks for Alice. This is a fair trade, me instead of her. She is no longer involved in this at all."

He nodded once. "Of course, Miss Isabella."

I stared at him for a minute, his eyes didn't even flicker to me. I faced forward in my seat again. "As long as you understand that," I muttered.

"As long as you hold up your part of our bargain."

"How would this Aro guy know if I'm gifted?" I questioned.

"He has an eye for that sort of thing. Plus he has a friend with a gift for knowing what others' powers are. If he can see potential in you then it's certain you have a gift."

"How did you know Alice was gifted?"

"Because nothing escapes me," he said coldly. "I had seen what happened when she had her first vision, when she seemed mindless as she told you about a danger, when she fainted in your arms. That was clearly something, so I followed her around for a little bit. I overheard her speaking to her grandmother about it. And that night when I saved you from those fiends in Port Angeles, I was still outside your house in hearing range while you spoke to your friend Edward and he said that Alice knew you were in danger, and you were. Clearly she was having premonitions. And while she's human! There's not a doubt she would have a very powerful talent as a vampire."

"So, you were just going to change her," I said, trying to keep the outrage out of my voice. "Just bite her right there in the locker room, take her life away like it was nothing."

He gave a bitter laugh. "Life _is _nothing, Isabella." His face darkened. "Besides, why shouldn't just take her life? _My _life was stolen from me, just like that. I had no say in the matter, why should anyone else?"

"Well, maybe what happened to you wasn't fair, but it doesn't give you the right to do it to others."

"I have every right," he said darkly. "I have the power to, why should I let my power go to waste? You should realize by now that I don't care about the feelings of others, I don't care who I kill or who I hurt. I am a vampire. I am a soulless monster. Do you understand that?"

It took me a long while to find something to say, or even make my voice work to say anything at all.

"It was all a lie then, wasn't it?" I realized. "Mr. Southern Charm, Texas gentleman…. You made a complete other personality for yourself and fooled everyone, just to get close enough to people. But the moment you're away from people, you're this."

"_This_," he said sharply, "is the real me. So get used to it. I've been made this way, taught to be this. It's my nature now."

"What happened to you?" I whispered.

"Do you really want to know?" he said. "It's not a happy story. The vampire world doesn't have happy stories."

I waited.

He sighed. "I recall I once said something about an ancestor of mine, Jasper Whitlock, being in the Civil War."

I looked at him.

"Not my ancestor," he said. "Me."

"Oh my God," I breathed.

"I was born in Houston, Texas, in 1844. One of the few survivors of the Southern Vampire Wars."

"Vampire wars?" I echoed.

He yanked up the sleeve of his shirt and held out his arm in the light for me to see. I curiously took a careful look at it. At first I didn't see anything, but then I saw the almost invisible purple, crescent-shaped marks making a crisscrossing pattern all on his arm.

"What are those?" I asked.

"Scars," he said. "Vampire bite marks. Our venom is the only thing that leaves a mark."

I stared at them in horror until he pulled his arm away, letting it rest in his lap as he sighed and relaxed back into the car seat. And I sat there wondering how many scars he had, and how many vampires had tried to kill him. Clearly, the same number that died in the attempt.

"I'm going ahead of myself though," he said. "I should start from the beginning."

I waited again. He looked back out at the road and got a faraway look in his eyes.

"I was the youngest Major in the Texas cavalry," he started. "I joined the confederate army to serve in the Civil War. I was placed in charge of evacuating the women and children from the city when the Union's mortar boats reached the harbor. It took a day to prepare them, and then I left with the first column of civilians to convey them to Houston.

"I remember that one night very clearly. It's hard to forget a night like that.

"It was after dark when we reached the city. I stayed only long enough to make sure the entire party was situated. After that was done, I got myself a fresh horse and headed back to Galveston.

"Just a mile out of the city, I came across three women on foot. I assumed they were stranglers and I immediately dismounted to offer them my aid. But I was stunned into silence when I saw their faces in the dim moonlight. They were, without question, the three most beautiful women I had ever seen.

"I remember marveling at their white skin. Even the little black-haired girl, whose features were clearly Mexican, was porcelain in the moonlight. They all looked very young, young enough to still be called girls. I knew at once they were not members of my group, I would have remembered those faces.

"'He's speechless,' the tallest girl said, her voice like wind chimes. She had fair hair, and snow white skin.

"The other was blonder still, her skin just as white. And she leaned forward, towards me, and inhaled deeply. 'Lovely,' she sighed.

"The small one, the tiny brunette, put her hand on the girl's arm and spoke quickly. Her voice was too musical and soft to be sharp, but that's how it was intended.

"'Concentrate, Nettie,' she said.

"I always had a good sense of how people related to each other, and it was immediately clear that the brunette was in charge of their little group.

"'He looks right—young, strong, and an officer, too.' She paused as I tried unsuccessfully to speak. 'And there's something else, something more…do you sense it? He's…compelling.'

"'Oh, yes,' Nettie quickly agreed, leaning forward again.

"'Patience,' the brunette cautioned. 'I want to keep this one.'

"Nettie frowned, seeming annoyed and disappointed.

"'You'd better do it, Maria,' the taller blonde said. 'I kill them twice as often as I keep them.'

"' What's your name, soldier?' Maria asked me.

"'Major Jasper Whitlock, ma'am,' I said with a little bit of stammering.

"'Oh, I hope you survive,' she said softly, her eyes glistening. 'You may be of great use to me.'

"She stepped closer to me, inclining her head as if she was going to kiss me. I stood frozen in place, though my instincts and ever muscle in my body were screaming at me to run."

He paused. I waited for him to continue, but after almost a minute he didn't.

"She…bit you?" I asked uncertainly.

He nodded, looking like he was unwilling to admit it.

"What does it feel like?" I wondered quietly. "I mean, to be turned into a vampire?"

"It's indescribable," he answered immediately. "And it's like nothing you've ever felt before. The pain is unimaginable."

"Pain?" I whispered fearfully.

He gave a tight nod. "And it was that pain that signified the transformation into…" he swept his hand down his body, gesturing to himself with a look that I almost thought was disgust, "this."

"How long did the pain last?" I asked.

He shook his head. "There is no definite measure of time. Usually a few days. You might not be awake for all the time. But at any rate, you won't be trying to count the minutes with that fiery pain engulfing every cell in your body."

I swallowed thickly.

He continued on with his story. "Well…these three strange, beautiful women were called Lucy, Nettie, and Maria. And when I woke up, when all the fire had stopped, I was a vampire. And I was immediately introduced to my new life, stuck in the middle of the Southern Vampire Wars."

He stopped again, and again I waited. He opened his mouth, then closed it. I frowned, disappointed by the ending of his story and that was all I was going to hear.

"Is that it?" I asked.

He gave me a look, arching one eyebrow. "Patience, Isabella." He looked back at the road. "I am thinking of a simple way to explain this to you, so it's easy for you to understand."

I rolled me eyes. "Just because I don't know anything about the history of vampires doesn't mean I'm stupid. I'm sure I can keep up."

The corner of his mouth twitched ever so slightly. "I never said nor implied that you were stupid." Finally, he found how to explain. "Alright, but to understand, you have to try and see this through the eyes of a newborn vampire. A wild, completely out of control newborn with a raging thirst like fire."

I nodded, uncertain now if I really wanted him to go on.

"Now, picture in your head a map of the United States." I did as he said. "Now, picture on that map a red dot placed for every single human who inhabits that area."

I closed my eyes, grimacing slightly. "That's a lot of red dots."

"Indeed. And at the time, all vampires were fighting for territory of where the red dots were the thickest."

I held back a gasp, squeezing my eyes shut tighter. "They were fighting for human blood?"

"Yes. And the Southern Vampire Wars were the bloodiest and most violent of all these battles."

I forced my eyes open, hearing my breathing a little too loud and a little too fast as I fixed my gaze on the road.

"Maria's coven had just been destroyed. She and Lucy and Nettie were the only survivors and were able to escape. After that, Maria won them all. And I was her right hand, her most trusted, her strongest. And something else, too."

"What?"

"Her lover."

I shivered unpleasantly at the way he said that.

"I was the first one she let live after the first year, and then I was made to do all her dirty work. I made vampires for her and trained them for her. And we fought. And we won. And we had claim to the most territory down south.

"Maria never let her newborns live past the first year. In that first year of a newborn's life, his strength is increased. Your own human blood still lingers in your tissue so you're stronger than regular vampires. But after a year, that strength wears off, and Maria then found them useless. I was then the one who destroyed them.

"Lucy and Nettie eventually turned on us, but Maria and I won that battle and I was able to destroy the both of them. I did however develop a friendship with a newborn who had remained useful and, against the odds, survived his first three years. His name was Peter. I really liked Peter, he was…civilized. He didn't enjoy fighting very much though he was very good at it.

"When the newborns had outgrown their strength, it was time once again to get rid of them, and Peter was assigned to help me. You see, we called them in one by one and destroyed them. It was always a very long night. And I noticed Peter was acting very strange the whole time, and he kept trying to convince me that some of the newborn had potential. Maria, although, said all had to go. So I told him no.

"We were halfway through, and I could see it was starting to effect Peter. I was trying to decided whether or not I should send him away and finish up myself. Surprisingly, he suddenly became very angry, furious. I prepared myself for whatever his mood might foreshadow—I said he was a good fighter, but never a match for me."

I fought to rolling my eyes. Of course, he just had to make that perfectly clear for the hundredth time. No one in the world could defeat him. I got it. Was he waiting for my round of applause?

"The next victim I summoned was a female, her name was Charlotte. His feelings changed when she came in. Then he yelled for her to run and bolted after her, both of them disappearing into the night. I could have pursued them, hunted them down, but I did not. I felt such adversity to destroying Peter, so I watched them run.

"Maria was greatly infuriated with me for that. We fought for hours. And she stormed out, and I stormed off in the opposite direction. And let me tell you, by this time, I realized something about Maria. She felt the same way about me as the both of us felt for the newborns I trained and destroyed. I was nothing to her, just a pawn in her wild game. I was her puppet, and she pulled the strings.

"I was livid beyond compare upon this realization. I confronted Maria and I told her that I would not help her any longer, and that was a hard thing to do. Her strings, I came to realize, were also somewhat attached to my heart. I had to remind myself that she didn't really love me, but that was a hard thing to come to terms with, for as long as we had been together. But I refused to be her puppet any longer.

"She, of course, was not that easy to just let go of me, to just give up. No. That's not Maria at all. All our winning battles had made her greedy, blind with greed and power. That was all she wanted, power. She would do anything to have that, and destroy anyone that got in her way. I saw that quickly, and I assured her that her persuading had worked on me and I continued to be with her.

"From there, instead of training her newborns, I was destroying them. And then I destroyed her myself. I left her there, walked out on her without a backwards glance."

He sighed softly and then I could feel his gaze on me. "So do you see?" he asked. "Do you understand—or can you at least begin to understand?—why I am this way? This is my whole life, all I ever knew and know. What I'm best at. And I don't intend on changing myself, so you should get used to it."

I looked up at him, and I nearly screamed. He didn't seem shocked by my horror, or shocked when I cried, "Your eyes! They're…red!"

He glanced briefly at them in the rearview mirror and then back at me. "That's the color they always have been and always are. Their true color. Blood red." He looked back at the road, but I still stared at his jewel-like crimson eyes. "The venom in my eyes have completely dissolved the color contacts I was wearing. Ah, well, no matter, I don't need them anymore."

My breathing hitched as I heard Alice whisper in my ear. _"Red eyes."_

Oh my God.

"We're here," Jasper announced.

I was really going to die, wasn't I?

**Well, you know how it works. You review, you get a teaser. Get to it! hehe :D Love Youuuu! **


	10. Chapter 10

**Hey guys! So, special surprise in this chapter for you, a little Jasper POV action going on. I think you'll like it. Who doesn't want to try and sort out all that nonsense going on in Major Whitlock's crazy mind? so ENJOY!**

If I wasn't so afraid, I probably would have taken the time to admire Jasper's place.

Actually, what he owned was more like an estate. And Montana was very pretty too. From what I could see as we approached it, there was acres of land behind his mansion. The area was circled by a low, wooden fence, and I could see horses running and standing in the tall grass.

_He has horses. _I thought that was kind of cute.

Behind the horses, I could see a huge stall for them, and then I could also see two cabins far down. Everything was also surrounded by a thick forest of trees. And it was all very beautiful.

I didn't have very long to assess much else before Jasper was impatiently ushering me on. As he wanted me to, I walked in front of him up the steps of the house. The door was opened for us when we reached it.

The man that stood there was tall and lean, but a little more muscular than Jasper looked and about two inches shorter. His hair was a sort of dark blonde, orange color. He had white, flawless skin, red eyes, his lips were full and pale, his nose was a little on the big side but that wouldn't matter because of the vampire beauty he possessed. He wore a friendly smile.

I was forced into the house by Jasper trying to step in behind me, and I was pushed past the man. He ignored me though.

"Major, you are a bitch," he told Jasper.

"Shut up," Jasper snapped with a tight smile on his face, as he embraced the boy in a brotherly hug.

He looked at me behind Jasper. "Ah. Isabella, I presume?"

I couldn't contain my shock. "Who are you?" I demanded.

"Peter," he said with a smile. "The Major's right hand…best friend…pain in the ass…."

Jasper laughed once. "You've got that right."

Peter suddenly put a hand on my shoulder, and I fought to stay perfectly still instead of screaming and running away like my instincts screamed. He carefully scrutinized me.

"Well…you're human," he said, surprised. He looked at Jasper, still holding on to me. "Why?"

Jasper didn't answer, and Peter nodded solemnly. Oh no, silent vampire communication, that's not fair at all! Definitely frightened me more.

"Sorry," Peter said to me, looking sad suddenly. "I'm really sorry about what's happened to you. I did try to warn you though."

Now I was confused. "What?" I demanded. "What do you mean you tried to warn me? I've never seen you before in my life!"

"I believe it was a text message. _'Can't wait to see you tonight,' _or something like that."

I recalled it with a gasp of shock.

"Yeah, it was meant to scare you off," Peter continued. "I thought it would be creepy enough for you to stay away from Jasper, but you just don't give up, do you?"

Jasper suddenly leaned in to say, "I warned her too."

I leaned away from him. "No!" I spat. "You fucking threatened me!"

"And that ought to have worked twice as better, and where are we now?"

"Go to hell."

His mouth twisted into a cruel smirk as he straightened up and folded his arms across his chest. Turning his back and sauntering away from me, he said, "I'm already in the seventh circle, darlin'."

I didn't respond, instead I took the time to gaze around the house.

The inside of the house was huge. When you entered in there was a lot of empty space. The walls were a light peach color and the floor was marble, shiny and smooth. There were a lot of lights on the walls and a huge, glass chandelier hanging from the high ceiling. To the left of the doors we entered through, there were big, wooden doors, closed. In front of us and to the right a little there was a wooden staircase that twisted above us to the second floor.

Across from that was an archway that I peeked through. It led to the living room. It was a long room with white walls and a white carpet. The lights were built into the ceiling and the wall at the end of the room was made of glass, the curtains pulled close. The couch was in the shape of an almost complete square, it was huge and white and had a lot of throw-pillows, it could easily fit twenty people. In front of the couch, hanging on the wall, was a huge flat-screen television.

Behind the staircase, there was another archway that lead to the kitchen. The floor was wooden and the walls were white. There was a counter lined up with chairs, and behind the counter against the wall was a stove, an oven, and cabinets. Against the opposite wall were two chrome refrigerators.

Why would people who don't eat need such a fancy kitchen? Well, I thought it was all a little too fancy for vampires, but maybe it's just Jasper.

A sudden tap on my shoulder brought my out of my thoughts and I spun around to see a small girl with tiny features, dark red eyes, smooth white skin, and short blonde hair. At first glance, she reminded me exactly of Alice.

"Hi," she said with a bright smile, and then hugged me to my surprise. "I'm Charlotte. You must be Isabella."

She seemed friendly enough. "Bella," I told her with a smile. "My friends call me Bella."

Her smile brightened even more. "Ah, friends already? That's a new record for me. I guess I really am awesome."

I laughed. "You're…um…with Peter, right?"

She nodded. "Yes, he's my mate. And you're the Major's girl. Right?"

My mouth popped open. When I was able to make my brain work, I shook my head. "With…Jasper? God no. No. Absolutely no. I mean, no freaking way."

"Oh," she said, her thin eyebrows pulling together in confusion. "I'm sorry, I just thought…." She trailed off, looking more confused.

"Yeah," I said, "I'm here _with _him…but I'm not…_with_…him. If that made any sense."

"Why are you here then?"

I sighed. "It's a long story."

Unlike other people I know, she understood at once that when I said that I really meant, "I don't want to talk about it." She quickly offered a small smile and nodded her head.

"Right. Well, I'd like to show you around if you want," she said.

"Sure," I agreed. It wasn't like I could say no, then what do I do? Just stand here all day? "I'd like that, thank you."

She took my hand. "Great, come on!"

She showed me all around the house. She dragged me into the living room, promising me I could go in there whenever I wanted. She brought me into the kitchen, telling me that there was food in there and that she would make me dinner after her little tour. She showed me hers and Peter's room, which was very big and beautiful and had a huge window with an outside view. She showed me the library, which I thought was the most interesting room. Books and books and books…everywhere. I could spend some serious time in there. She showed me Jasper's study—well, more like the door to Jasper's study, we couldn't go in because it was locked.

Then we came to a door with a silver plaque above it that said "Major Whitlock" on it in fancy lettering. I stood in front of it, staring at it, then I started reaching for the doorknob.

"Not a good idea, Bella," Charlotte said.

I ignored her and turned the doorknob, finding the door unlocked, I pushed the door open and stepped inside.

The walls were white and the floor was made of polished marble. One of the walls was entirely made out of glass, and another wall was entirely a huge mirror. The bed was beyond huge, gold and red and cream, with a golden canopy flowing over it. The room was lit with rows of lights on the ceiling that twinkled like stars. There was a stone fireplace with two dark red loveseats. There was a small table next to the bed with a small leather book on it.

I climbed onto the bed and picked up the book to examine it. It was very old looking, so I handled it as carefully as I could, afraid that it would disintegrate in my hands. I flipped through the pages. It was a journal. Jasper's journal. The dates went back to the time he was in the war he spoke of. I started to read through it, the printing was a bit faded and smudged in the beginning but I could still read it.

_September 14, 1860_

_My grandfather has given me this journal for my birthday, my first journal and this is the first entry. I don't know how often I will be able to write in this. For all I know, this could be my last entry. I will try to make an entry every day however. Perhaps today is not the best day for talking, I am quite bitter today. A pack of coyotes attacked my family's farm today, and although I was able to drive them off it was too late for my horse, and I had to put him down. Others pretend to be sorry but I know they are not nearly as upset about it as I am. I know I shouldn't be upset. I have never seen my father cry, he should not have to see me cry. I will miss that horse dreadfully, but will crying bring him back? It will do nothing but show my weakness, I know that. …Tomorrow I will get a new horse. _

"Find anything interesting in there?"

I jumped, my head snapped up towards the door, where Jasper was leaning casually against the door, his arms folded over his chest. Charlotte stood against the wall, grimacing slightly and looking down like she was trying extremely hard not to be noticed by Jasper. _Busted_, I thought. I am so dead.

"I-I'm sorry," I stammered, sliding off the bed and closing the journal. "I was just…looking around…and I got a little…curious?"

I tried to explain, but the words couldn't come out under my fear as he walked towards me, our eyes locked. I gulped and held up the book with shaking hands for him to take.

He took the journal from me and looked down at it, curious looking himself as he flipped through the pages. "Damn coyotes," he muttered.

"I'm sorry," I said again.

He didn't say anything, instead he just looked at me, his face unreadable. I took that as my cue to get the hell out of there, so I dropped my gaze to the floor and slipped around him, taking Charlotte's hand as we left the room. I glanced back to see Jasper sigh and place his journal back on the table.

"Let me show you your room, Bella," Charlotte said.

"My room?" I asked. "Are you sure he wants me to have a room, or does he want to chain me up in the basement?"

I felt almost guilty after I said this, and I don't know why. That journal entry really made me feel something. Jasper crying about a horse he had to put down. It reminded me that he _was _human once, and he did have feelings.

I know he's not human now, put you can't really lose your humanity. No matter how deeply buried inside you it might be, it's still there. Right?

"Here, Bella," Charlotte interrupted my musings.

The room was at the end of the hall, opposite side of Jasper's room. The room was big and beautiful. The carpet and walls were white, there was a huge, canopy bed, dark blue and cream colors. In one corner of the room there was a small relaxing area, with a stone fireplace and two chocolate loveseats. There were double-doors across from the entrance. There were no windows. _Dammit. _

"That is the closet," Charlotte told me, pointing to the double-doors, "and in the back of the closet is the bathroom. There are no clothes in there yet, but I'll make sure I go out tonight and get you everything you need. Okay?"

I nodded. "Thank you, Charlotte."

"Why don't you stay in here and relax for a little while, and I'll be right up with your dinner. Anything in particular you want?"

I shook my head, jumping up onto the big bed. "Nope, anything's good. Thanks."

She nodded and left the room, quietly closing the door behind her. I sighed and laid back down on the bed, staring up at the canopy. After laying there for almost a minute, a small whining sound sounded through the room, and it took me a while to figure out that the sound was from me. I brought my hands up to my face in surprise and felt the wetness of tears there.

That did it.

I turned over, pressing my wet face into the bed, and bawled. I tried to quiet my sobbing as much a s I could, but I couldn't control myself. I just cried, even when I had no more tears to shed I still cried.

"Oh," I faintly heard Charlotte's voice. "I'll just leave your food here if you get hungry later."

Eventually, I was able to cry myself to sleep.

OoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOo

**Jasper POV**

I had been standing in the doorway since Isabella went into my room. I folded my arms across my chest and leaned against the frame of the door and motioned for Charlotte to be quiet. I watched Isabella look around my room, touching things here and there. I tilted my head to one side, noticing how comfortable she looked, and also how intrigued she looked by everything. Then she sat up on my bed, my journal in her hands. It surprised me a little, and also infuriated me a little. She had no manners.

I absorbed her emotions as she read my journal, her small, delicate hands running over the old pages. It was all curiosity, then a bit of sadness that also reflected on her face. I even felt a bit of anger concealed in confusion. I wondered what she was reading. She didn't notice me until I spoke.

"Find anything interesting in there?"

She jumped in surprise, looking up at me with those chocolate eyes wide. She glanced at Charlotte—whose eyes were shut tightly with her guilt and embarrassment, but also trying not to laugh—and then looked back at me. Her heart thudded unevenly as her fear hit me. I waited, suppressing my own anger.

She closed the book carefully and slid down from the bed, stammering out her weak apology. "I-I'm sorry. I was just…looking around…and I got a little…curious?"

I stared into her deep, brown eyes as I approached her. I wondered what she saw as she stared back into my soulless crimson eyes. Her breathing was a little fast and shallow, she swallowed thickly and held up my journal, her hands trembling. I wanted to grab her hands and still them, but I just plucked the journal from her hands, opening it up and looking down at it.

That's what she was reading, the first page, my first journal entry. I recalled the day as I read my own words. Instead of the sadness the words should have brought to me, I felt anger. Or maybe I was just hiding the sadness with anger. But I heard myself mutter, "Damn coyotes."

"I'm sorry," she whispered.

I looked at her. She was feeling some genuine guilt, but what for I didn't know. It almost made me laugh though. I was angry with her, but I was also angry with myself. Hell, I was angry at the world but that was just me. But there was also sadness in her eyes, such sadness I hated looking at her. And hated that she could feel that sadness but I did not.

And she hated me. I could feel that hatred, I could feel the anger, and I could also feel her anxiety. She hated being near me, recoiling every time I got close. I don't recall her having that feeling before she figured out what I was, and definitely not that first day I met her when I rolled out the charm. But that has certainly changed.

So join the club, Isabella. Everyone hates me. I hate me. It was nothing new. I'm feared. I'm cruel. I'm cold. I know all this very well.

And why she is the only one that really bothers me by feeling this way, I do not know.

I hated her too. I hated her for that reason. I hated her because she hated me.

Her brown eyes were gone from my sight when she looked down at the ground, and she ducked her head and quickly walked past me and out of the room, trying to keep enough distance between us. I closed my eyes and clenched my teeth, my hands balling into fists. I wanted to stop her. I wanted to turn around and grab her, shove her up against the wall and make her feel fear like she has never known.

I sighed sharply and dropped my journal back onto the table it was on. I listened to Isabella's light footsteps as she walked down the hall with Charlotte, and heard her breathing and heartbeat gradually return to normal.

"Let me show you your room, Bella," Charlotte said.

"My room?" she replied back. "Are you sure he wants me to have a room, or does he want to chain me up in the basement?"

I smiled. _Yes. Yes she does hate me very much. _

I lightly kicked the table with my boot and sat down in the same spot Isabella was sitting in on my bed. Her scent faintly swirled around the area, I closed my eyes briefly to inhale it. It truly was wonderful. Much better than anything I had ever smelt before. The sweetest scent I've ever smelt.

When I kicked the leg of the table, my journal tumbled off it and onto the floor. It hit the floor with a thud and when it did it opened to a random page. I gazed down to examine the page.

_December 31, 1863  
When I imagined death, this is not hardly what I saw. Death is death, there cannot be away around it. How can I be dead if I am alive? How can I be alive if I am dead? All the times I might have longed for death, this is not what I wanted._

Charlotte suddenly came storming into my room, stopping in front of me. "You can be a real ass sometimes, you know that?" she whisper shouted. "Bella is crying. Is that what you want? Does that make you feel better, making her cry? Whatever the hell you're feeling, she feels worse! You better do something to make it better!"

And just as quickly as she came in, she disappeared. I sighed again and stood up, then walked towards Isabella's room. As I got closer and closer to her closed door, I felt her sadness more and more intense. I tried to block it out as I slid to the floor and sat against Isabella's door, listening to her soft cries as I closed my eyes and leaned my head back against the door.

Eventually, her sobs became quieter and quieter, and then they stopped. There was an odd occasional soft whine, but then they turned to lovely sighs. Her heart beat slowed, her breathing evened out. I stood up and entered her room silently, finding her curled up on the bed, asleep.

She looked completely helpless and fragile asleep. Her hair covered her face, I gently swept it out of the way, carful for my repulsively cold skin not to touch her warm, soft skin. She looked tired, completely worn-out, and dried tears streaked her face, her small nose was red from crying.

"Mmmm…," she sighed and almost rolled over. "My name's not Isabella," she said so quietly I wasn't sure that's was what I heard.

_She talks in her sleep. _

_Interesting. _

"What would you like to be called?" I asked softly.

"It's just Bella," she breathed. "Just Bella."

I smiled, touching her silky hair one more time. "You're just Bella to your friends," I told her, "I'm not your friend."

**Thanks for reading! Really, thanks a lot. You guys have been soooo nice to me and this story. We both appreciate it very much :)  
So, teasers anyone? Teasers? Yes? Great!**


	11. Chapter 11

**Hey guys! sorry i kept you waiting for this. This chapter is BellaPOV but you also get another little insite into Jasper's mind. this definitely isn't the best chapter i've written... don't worry though, it'll get better. and wow! we're almost at 300 reviews, that's AMAZING! thank you so much everyone who reads and reviews this! i can't say thank you enough! well, ENJOY!**

I woke up in the middle of the night, restless. I tossed and turned every which way but nothing felt right. I knew it was the middle of the night because it was still dark out. I suddenly really hated the dark.

I nearly groaned and sat up. I ran a hand through my hair and tried to calm myself. I was definitely not going to be able to go back to sleep, unless I completely tired myself with crying again. Which I did not want to do. _I hate crying. Ugh, I feel gross. _

I got up and shuffled my way over to the closet, surprised when I opened it and found it filled with clothes. Good, because I had been wearing the same outfit for two days now. I began to scan through what was in there, and I picked out a simple pair of jeans and a light, long-sleeved, striped shirt. Buttoned V-neck? Maybe that wasn't a brilliant choice, but I didn't feel like spending a hour trying to decide what to wear.

In the bathroom I found a hairbrush and I quickly brushed through my messy locks, and put a brown headband on to keep my curls from falling in front of my face. I splashed my face with cold water to wake me up.

Nervously, I peeked out into the hallway, looking to see if anyone was out there first. Cautiously, I stepped out of my room. Making my steps as quiet as I could, I made my way towards the stairs, not knowing where I was going to go but I just didn't want to stay there. But then I stopped, hearing muffled voices, recognizing one as Jasper's voice. I think the other voice was Peter. I stayed perfectly still, trying to figure out where they were coming from.

Against all better judgment, instead of hurrying on my way, I dropped down onto my knees and silently crawled over to the shut door of Jasper's study. I pressed my ear to the door and listened to them talk.

"You're a liar," Peter said.

"Well that's old news," Jasper said. "I may be such a liar, but you are a disbeliever."

"I'm not," Peter argued, "I just don't believe you this."

"You chose not to believe the truthful thing I say."

"You're lying!" Peter accused again. "I should kill you myself just for you saying such a thing!"

"Wouldn't that be nice," Jasper muttered.

"Dammit, Jasper! Stop it! What's wrong with you?"

"Nothing out of the usual."

"Jasper," Peter said almost begging, "tell me." There was a pause. "Tell me about the girl. Isabella."

By breath caught.

"What about her?" Jasper's voice was flat, emotionless.

"Why did you bring her here?" Peter's voice sounded tired as he asked this. "Tell me, really. Why is she here, what purpose does this serve?"

_Answer the question, Jasper! _I thought fiercely.

"The truth?" Jasper asked. There was a pause, I guessed Peter nodded because Jasper continued. "I don't know why I took her. It was a trade. I was going to take her gifted friend and she offered herself up. Normally I would not take that trade. Normally I would have killed her and still taken the friend, or maybe even taken them both. I don't know why I took the trade."

"You do know," Peter hissed. "You're a liar to yourself, Jasper."

"What am I lying about?" Jasper shouted back. Peter had no reply. "Peter, you know nothing about me. You think you do, but you do not. End this conversation before—" He cut himself off abruptly, and it was silent.

"Why did you talk to this Isabella in the first place?" Peter pressed, his tone softer this time though.

"I don't know why. At first it was just part of the façade I was putting on for my mission. But the first class I walked into at that school…and she was sitting right there, all by herself…. I don't know why I walked over to her, I don't know why I sat next to her. There's just something about her. Such a…pull. I feel like I'm being pulled in and pushed away at the same time. I can't explain it."

"I think I know what you're saying," Peter said thoughtfully. "I feel something as well."

"Then try to understand how I feel," Jasper hissed sharply. "You have no concept of what I feel, and you can never. You are happy, and you have Charlotte, and the two of you will forever be happy. Do _I _look happy to you? How often have you actually seen me happy?"

"Is it…?" Peter trailed off. "Jasper, are you…lonely? Is that what you're saying?"

"I don't know what I'm saying!" Jasper exploded.

"Charlotte's been saying this for years," Peter said quietly, sounding sad. "She always said you needed a mate."

"Stop saying that!" Jasper commanded. "I do not need a mate. I've been without one for all this time, why would I suddenly need one now like this is a life or death matter? I am not afraid to walk this world alone."

"It is a life or death matter!" Peter shouted back, then he sighed. "Look. I know I can't make you stay—though I will try. I am just begging you to stay."

"Why should I?" Jasper demanded.

"Because you're the Major. We need you. Everyone needs you. The world needs you. After all, what is life without the Major?"

"I can't keep doing this anymore. I'm getting too weak for this. It is petty to me and tiring. I can't do it anymore."

"If you can't do it, no one can."

"You can do everything just fine without me. I'm sure you'll even be happier without me."

"That is not true and you know it," Peter hissed. "I could never be happier without my best friend. And I am dead serious, I cannot do it. Without you, everything will fall apart within a week. If you hadn't shown up just when you did, I'm sure everything would have gone to pieces."

"It just might still."

"Jasper, if you don't cut it out, I'm going to get Charlotte up here to knock some serious sense into you."

Suddenly, a phone rang. It came from inside the room.

"Who is it?" Pater asked.

"It's Aro," Jasper said, his tone furious but quiet. "The idiot _would _call right now." He cleared his throat before answering. "Hello, Aro. I trust everything is well for you over there." Pause, and then his tone darkened. "What? What do you mean?"

I wished I could hear Aro on the other line. This one-sided conversation was stupid. I pressed my ear more to the door.

"What?" Jasper demanded, furious and almost shouting now. "Aro, I sent you the best talents I could find!" There was a quiet growl. "Aro, I cannot do that! You don't know how busy it is over here. …Well, I don't give a damn how desperate you are, you'll have to wait. I'm too busy to deal with this. …Aro, I am doing my best, don't you try that on me." His voice became tight. "And I will do this my way or no way, understand that? Now I suggest you _stop killing them_ or you will have no army." I heard the phone snap shut.

"What does he want?" Peter asked.

"Aro wants twenty-five more talented newborns right away. He says that he killed more than half of the ones he last got because their powers were not to his liking." He sounded disgusted.

_I think I'm going to be sick. _This meant for me that if I was changed into a vampire, and if I did have some sort of talent, if Aro didn't think it was enough then he could kill me. I didn't just need to hope for a power, I need to hope for a _damn amazing _power. I was completely screwed.

"I said I just can't do it," Jasper continued.

"Damn right we can't!" Peter said angrily. "How dare he ask us for more! We're already taking care of eight here!"

"I know, Peter. And we'll take care of this eight first before we do anything else. _His highness_," Jasper sneered, "will just have to be patient."

"You know what I think?" Peter asked after a long silence.

"I think you should stop thinking," Jasper said.

"I think you should shut up and listen to me," Peter shot back. "I think you _are _lonely. I think you need a mate. And I think this Isabella girl has something to do with all this nonsense you're suddenly talking about. I might not be able to feel emotions like you can, but I definitely know you're not right. Now let's try this one more time: Why haven't you killed her yet?"

"I haven't killed her because she might have a useful talent," Jasper answered immediately.

"I think it's because you like her."

"I hate her."

Those three words cut into me like razors, lashing into me one after another. _I hate her_. Tears sprung up in my eyes, and I pressed a hand over my mouth to keep from making any noises. Why did those words hurt me so much? And why would he say that?

_Well, you know what they say about eavesdroppers, Bella._

I tried to swallow the hurt and listen to the rest of their conversation.

"No," Peter disagreed, "She makes you feel something, doesn't she? That's why you keep her around. That's why you enjoyed talking to her so much."

"I do not enjoy talking to her. I told you this already, it was just a façade so I could get through the school without people becoming so suspicious. A façade to keep Isabella from becoming suspicious—"

"And that worked out perfectly," Peter interrupted.

"And that is not my fault! I warned her to leave it alone. I gave her every warning I could. I did not go looking for her, but she did go looking for me."

_Liar_, I thought. _What were you doing in Port Angeles, huh? Probably stalking me. _

"Oh, bullshit," Peter said. "You definitely did not do all you could to keep her away. Plus, you could have simply left, even with Isabella's talented friend you could have just left. What kept you there?"

"Are you saying because of one pesky little girl threatens my exposure as a vampire that I should be run out of town? Me, a vampire, run out of town by a little, human girl?"

"It's not about your pride, Jasper!" Peter exploded.

"It's always about your pride," Jasper disagreed sharply. "If you don't hold yourself in a high place then neither will anyone else."

"So now you're saying I don't respect myself?"

"I did _not _say that. Is that what _you _think?"

"Stop it, Jasper!" Peter commanded. "Do not try to turn this into a fight between the two of us."

"Listen to me," Jasper said. "I asked myself…what is keeping me attached to this world? The answer is _nothing_."

Peter didn't respond.

"If it's not nothing," Jasper continued quietly, "then it's some deeply buried, nearly gone longing. A longing for what I don't know. I cannot explain it and I don't care to try."

"So…?" Peter prompted.

"Nothing. So…nothing. There is nothing for me. We could carry on this conversation for the rest of eternity, but nothing will change for me."

"I still think you're wrong. I refuse to think anything else." Peter sighed deeply. "Losing you will not be an easy thing. But I do know that this is your choice, not mine. Despite that you're…_you_…I know you'll do what's right. Think…and let me know when and what you've decided."

In the silence, I had finally got what this entire conversation was really about. At least, I think I understood. And I wanted to slap myself for getting it just _now_, when I had been listening to this for about twenty minutes now.

Jasper wanted to leave. He was going to leave and Peter was trying to convince him to stay. And somehow, I also fit into this conversation. _Jasper wanted to leave because of me? _Oh c'mon, I know I'm annoying, but _really_? Am I really _that _horrible to be around?

This was not a good day for me.

"You're a bastard," Jasper finally muttered.

There was a lot of abrupt commotion inside.

"I knew you wouldn't do it," Peter said. "I knew it, I knew it…. You're a lot of things, Major, but you're not one for suicide. You're too proud for that."

Jasper chuckled quietly, bitterly. "Well, I'll stay _for now_."

"I'll take the time."

_No. _Jasper didn't want to leave. _He wanted to kill himself._

I couldn't stop the gasp of shock that broke out from between my lips. And for vampire ears, it was a loud noise. _Fuck, fuck, fuck! _I shouted it my mind, trying to silently and quickly crawl backwards away from the door until I was safely away.

Then a pair of shiny, black shoes appeared in front of my face, and I froze.

_Ah, shit. _

**Oh, Bella...will you ever learn?**

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	12. Chapter 12

**Hey, guys! Wow, i can't believe how many reviews this story has already! You guys are seriously AMAZING! love you! Thank you everyone reading, and i hope you enjoy this chapter!**

One of the black shoes started to tap on the floor. "Isabella, just because you don't move doesn't mean I can't see you," Jasper informed me.

I slowly looked up to see Jasper with his arms folded across his chest, staring down at me, clearly pissed. I smiled up at him innocently as I got to my feet.

"Right," I said. "Ummm…I was just looking for my contacts. Well…not here! I'll go look over there."

I turned around and Jasper was already in front of me, standing there like he had been there the whole time. I stepped back in surprise and ran into Peter, who stood behind me with his arm out to the wall to stop me from going anywhere.

"Eavesdropping, Isabella?" Jasper said, arching an eyebrow. "That's not a very good habit, now."

"And I realize that," I said with a nod. "So…I'll just go if you don't mind."

"Stop," Jasper ordered, his voice quiet but ice cold and razor sharp. So I didn't move when Jasper stepped closer. "First, I want to know what makes you think you can eavesdrop. Tell me that."

I just stared at him, keeping my mouth closed.

"Well?" he prompted.

"You were talking about me," I said. "You don't have the right to talk about me behind my back, but I do have the right to know what's going on around here."

"If it was something you should know, I would tell you. And if you desire to know something, you should ask."

"If I ask, would you tell me?"

"Most likely not. But you should still ask."

He turned around and began to walk away from me, but I wasn't having that. He did want me to ask….

"Why do you want to kill yourself?" I demanded.

He froze intently, every muscle jerking to a stop. His hands closed into fists, so tight that his bone white knuckles turned even whiter. He didn't turn around.

"Why do you care?" he said, his voice even despite how furious he looked. Then he walked away.

I didn't move. I felt numb. I stayed there until Charlotte appeared out of nowhere. She put a hand on my shoulder and brushed my hair with her fingers.

"Bella, would you like some breakfast?" she offered.

I didn't say yes or no, I just followed her down the stairs and into the kitchen. She motioned for me to sit on the stool at the counter, so I did. She went over to the stove and started cooking. It was silent, nothing but the sound of food crackling on the stove and various scents rising into the air.

She finally spoke after a while. "I heard everything," she told me. "Jasper and Peter's conversation, and yours and Jasper's."

"Charlotte, I'm very confused," I said. "Jasper…he wants to kill himself. I don't understand why. And he thinks I don't care about him dying either. And…after all the thoughts I've had about wanting his to just die…I really don't want him too."

"That's just because you're a good person, Bella," she said softly. "You don't have to worry about Jasper, he's not going to kill himself. I can't explain this to you though. First of all, I shouldn't be, this is Jasper's private life and I shouldn't interfere. Second, it's impossible for you to know how he feels."

"Can you try and explain?" I begged.

"Sweetie, Jasper is a very old vampire. And he spent most of his time alone. You have no idea what you can go through when you're completely alone in the world and you know that you'll live forever. That can drive a person mad. Hence the way Jasper acts sometimes…. Plus, when you know you have forever, what are you supposed to do? People may dream about stuff like living forever, but they just don't realize how long forever really is. With enough time, you _will _go mad. And that's what I think about Jasper, that he's slowly going mad."

"But why?" I pressed.

"Life gets tedious," she said. "Sometimes you just can't handle it." She stopped to turn around and look at me, her eyes capturing mine. "If you could live forever, what would you live for?"

Those words echoed through my head. They were haunting words. Powerful words, full of meaning. And I think I was beginning to understand.

"I think that's what Jasper said," I recalled. "That there's nothing keeping him here, attached to life, so what's the point."

"Exactly," Charlotte said, placing a steaming plate of scrambled eggs and pancakes in front of me. "Only I'm lead to believe that Jasper's brain works a little differently than the rest of us—"

"Meaning he's slightly crazy," I said with a nod, stabbing my eggs with my fork.

"Exactly," she repeated. "Crazy, or extremely eccentric, whichever you want. But also," her voice lowered, "he _is _hurting, Bella. He's hurting inside, to the point where he is this cruel. He's just that bitter."

"That's sad," I admitted. But I cannot let this new outlook on Jasper get to me. I can't care how much he's hurting, I need to remember that he's evil. And if that doesn't change, nothing can help him.

"I can talk to him if you want," Charlotte offered.

I almost spit out my food for fear of choking on it. "Hell no!" I nearly shouted.

She raised an eyebrow.

I composed myself and softly apologized before quietly explaining my outburst. "I do not want you do talk to him. That is the very last this I need. I do not need him doing anything, I don't need him near me, I don't need him to talk to me. I don't even want to see him." I finished by shoving another forkful of pancake into my mouth and chewing it angrily.

"Well, alright then," she said, sounding faintly disappointed to me, but she brightened up quickly. "So is there anything special you want to do today?"

I shrugged, but perking up at that. Could I leave this wretched house if I was with Charlotte? My heart swelled with hope.

"What _can _we do?"

"We can't leave the property—"

And the hope was disintegrated.

"—but we shouldn't have to worry about that much," Charlotte said. "There are plenty of other things we can do. By the way, Jasper owns a lot of property here. Half of it is forest area, in the back."

"What do you usually do for fun?" I wondered.

She sighed. "Fun isn't really a common thing around here—"

"Really?" I muttered. "Because Jasper seems like quite the life around here."

She rolled her eyes at me before continuing. "Usually I just read, watch TV, spend whatever time I can with Peter. Sometimes I just take a walk. Nothing creative around here. But you seem like a highly imaginative person."

I accepted the compliment as I sat back, humming nonsense as I thought. I put a forkful of scrambled eggs in my mouth and chewed carefully.

I thought. If it were a rainy day, storming outside, Alice and I were forced to stay inside, what would we do? Of course, we'd always come with something crazy anyway. What are some of the thing we would do? The standard stuff, of course…. If it just me and Alice it would be a girls night. Interesting idea. Charlotte could use a girl's night.

God, I missed Alice and Edward so much.

But I definitely had an idea.

OoOoOoOoOoOoO

Charlotte and I both screamed in unison and threw ourselves into each other's arms. We looked at the tiny TV screen in front of us as the Alien on the screen ripped apart and devoured the man who Charlotte and I were just beginning to like.

"I told him not to go in there," Charlotte said.

We were in the library. We had basically taken the pillows and blankets from every room in the house—minus Jasper's—taken them into the library, and created a mega-fort with the chairs and couches. The lights were off. We each had a flashlight. Various colored glow sticks were spread out around us. Outside of our fort was a huge stack of scary movies Charlotte and I picked out, and we intended on watching them all with the little TV that we had taken into our fort.

If there was a world record for Most Awesome Fort, Charlotte and I would win, no contest. I could live in this thing. And we were both having a lot of fun.

"This is gross," I said, my nose scrunching.

"This is nothing," Charlotte said. "Have you ever seen _The Exorcist_?"

"No," I said, shaking my head.

She face lit up with surprise in the dim light of the tiny TV screen. "Are you kidding? We're definitely watching that next. You know, when it first came out, people actually were leaving the theaters because it was so horrible they couldn't watch it, people we getting sick all over the place."

"Okay, that's really gross," I repeated, laughing.

"Have you ever seen _Poltergeist_?"

Again, I shook my head.

"What the hell? What _have_ you seen?" she demanded. "Okay, we're so watching that movie next, we can watch _The Exorcist _after that. Where have you been all your childhood?"

"Mostly grounded," I admitted.

She laughed.

"Hey, so what!" I said, giving her a shove. "When you were born they didn't even have movies."

"So shamefully true," she sighed, sadly shaking her head.

"Hey," I said, suddenly curious, "so what's your story? You know, what was your life like before you were a vampire? In the Southern Vampire Wars?"

"Oh," she said, "it's not much of a story."

"Can you tell me?" I asked, scooting closer to her and muting the volume on the small TV.

"I was born in Dallas, Texas in 1848," she said. "I stopped aging when I was nineteen. I grew up without a father, with just a younger sister and a mother. And life was hard without a man in the family, we all had to work extra hard.

"Relief came to us when a very rich traveler came to court my sister," she said this with much distaste. "Who knew he was a vampire…."

I gasped. "Are you kidding me?"

"I wish. And I was the only one who knew. I found him one night feeding off the blood of some chickens. Of course, then I didn't know _exactly _what he was, but he told me. He threatened me, telling me he was going to marry my sister and if I told anyone he was a vampire he would kill my family then me.

"Well, the wedding day was coming around, and I couldn't just do _nothing. _I mean, if you put yourself in my shoes, what would you do?"

I nodded, understanding.

"So I challenged him. I suppose that's what I did. I told my sister, so he killed her and the rest of my family. Sparing me for some reason. Maybe he just wanted to torture me some more. So he changed me. He was my Master, I was his fledgling.

"I hated him. I absolutely despised him. And he loved me. I was with him for no more than a few months before rising up against him. I killed him, I did, and I won't deny that I took great pleasure in it."

She sighed. "Oh, and the rest of the story you know. Jasper found me and recruited me into Maria's army. I fell in love with Peter, and we ran away together. And here we all are today."

"I'm sorry," I said. "I mean, about what happened when you were human. But I'm really happy you and Peter are happy together."

She smiled. "Thank you, Bella. And one day, you will find that same happiness. Don't forget that."

"Right," I muttered. "Um, Charlotte, I'm a little hungry. Do you mind if I go down to the kitchen and get something?"

"No," she said, as if she'd been offended. "Bella, you're more than welcome. The food's only for you. We can't eat it."

"Right," I said, crawling out of the fort.

"Do you need me to go with you?" she offered.

"Nope, I'll be fine. I'll just grab something and I'll be back up in a second."

I stood up, dusted myself off, and exited the library. Of course, I peeked over the staircase railing first to make sure that no one was there. I definitely didn't want to accidently run into Jasper.

_Shudder._

And I _almost _made it to the kitchen home free.

Peter appeared from nowhere, making me jump and almost scream when he grabbed my arm to stop me and spin me towards him. "Oh, Bella!" he said. "I'm sorry, I'm in a hurry, I really have to get back outside," he said in a rush, "and I really need you to go give this to Jasper."

"Uh…umm…" was my only panicked protest as Peter grabbed my hand and shoved a little folded up piece of white paper into my hand. "Peter, peter, no—!" I stuttered out, but when I looked up he was already gone.

I looked around me, then down at the note, then up the staircase.

Oh fucking please! If Peter could move that fast he sure as hell didn't need me to go give it to Jasper because he was in a hurry.

The bastard did that on purpose.

I sighed deeply before very reluctantly and begrudgingly making my way up the stairs. I knew where Jasper's room was of course, I made an immediate turn for it. His door was shut. I stood outside it for a minute, biting my lip, trying to figure out what I should do. It took awhile to decide to do the proper thing, which was to knock, and I did so three times.

"Jasper? It's me," I called softly.

"Come in, 'me'," came his response.

I rolled my eyes before pushing the door open and stepping inside. I stopped. The curtains were drawn open, the sunlight beautiful as it shown in. The TV was on, News 12 channel. Jasper was nowhere.

"Ummm…Jasper?"

"In the closet," he said, and I turned to my left just in time to see him step out of a small room and shut the double doors, then turn towards me. I realized he was waiting for me to say something, and I must have looked stupid just standing there staring at him.

"…What are you doing?" I asked.

He raised an eyebrow before answering, "Nothing. Just thinking…."

"Penny for your thoughts?"

He laughed once, leaning one hand against the closet door, almost caressing the wood there. "Most my thoughts may be so conceited, but they're worth a little more than just a penny."

"Not even a…really shiny penny?" I pressed.

"No, I don't think so."

I couldn't help smiling, mostly at his smile. There was something about his smile…. It really changed everything about him. It was nice to see him smile.

But what the hell was I thinking? Where did _that _thought come from?

Christ, Bella, you're losing it.

Damn! He can feel your emotions, you moron!

"Peter wanted me to give this to you," I said, holding out the paper note for him. "It sounded really important, so…you should…read it."

He took it from my hand and opened it up, his eyes scanning through it quickly. His expression went hard quickly, his eyebrows pulling together. "Damn," he breathed.

I wanted to know what was written on it, but I reminded myself that it wasn't my problem, so I didn't have to care.

I looked past Jasper at the TV, watching it curiously. I haven't been up to date with anything. Speaking of, what _is _the date. Man, World War III could have broken out and I wouldn't have known.

But then a familiar picture showed up on the screen.

"Oh my God," I said in horror, pushing past Jasper to get closer to the TV. "That's Alice!"

Jasper turned to see what I was talking about, then came to stand next to me.

A picture of Alice was shown on the TV, a picture that I myself actually took. It was cropped so it was just Alice, but it was actually Alice and Edward. You could actually see a little bit of Edward's arm at the edge of the photo. The news reporter at the desk started talk, and I started shouting for Jasper to turn the volume up. He did.

"…was admitted to the Forks Mental Hospital just two days ago for claims of how this girl"—a picture of me flashed onto the screen—"disappeared. Bella Swan, the daughter of the Chief of Police of the town Forks, and best friend of Alice, went missing three days before Alice stepped forward with her claim of how Bella disappeared. The reason…because a vampire took her."

I made a strange sound and suddenly went weak. I thought I was going to faint, I reached behind me and held onto the wooden post of Jasper's bed so I could steady myself.

"There is no word yet of Bella Swan. They don't know how she disappeared, police are still searched, desperately, everywhere for her."

"That little _witch_!" Jasper spit. "How dare she! What's in her head, saying things like that about vampires?"

I looked at him. He was pissed. What else is new?

"Did I not specifically say that if she so much as breathed a word about any of this that I would kill her?" He growled. "That little—I'm going to kill her."

"What?" I gasped. "NO!"

"She's mine!"

He started to stalk from the room, I chased after him at once. Damn those long legs.

"No, Jasper!" I made a dive for his legs, the only thing I could think of to stop him. I hit the hallway floor hard, but I wrapped my arms around Jasper's legs to stop him from walking. It worked, he made an immediate halt, almost falling over and catching himself on the wall.

"Isabella," he barked. "What the hell?"

"You are not hurting Alice!" I shouted.

Past Jasper's legs, I could see Charlotte down the hall, who came out of the room to see what all the commotion was. She was shocked at first, then began giggling.

"Isabella, let me go," Jasper ordered sharply.

"No!"

He got one of his legs free, and almost got the other one too. I lurched forwards and held onto one leg with all my power.

"No!" I repeated.

He started walking, dragging me along. Charlotte had to be almost in tears with the way she was laughing. I couldn't blame her, I would be the same way if I could see myself. But not now, now I needed to stop Jasper.

"Isabella, you don't want to be hanging on to me like that when I go down the stairs," Jasper warned.

"Try it," I challenged.

He stopped at the staircase, then put his hands to his face and sighed heavily, leaning his upper body on the railing.

"Are you done?" I asked.

"Yes."

Carefully, I let go of his leg and got to my feet. He made no other movement. I sighed with relief and stepped back, but stupidly I didn't realize that the staircase was right there. I stepped right back off the first stair, falling backwards with a scream.

I didn't even know if I kept falling, because the second my head cracked against the first step, complete blackout.

**Thanks for reading!  
Still doing teasers! Just leave a review, let me know what you're thinking, and you get a little sneak peak of what's coming in the next chapter!  
Thanks!**


	13. Chapter 13

**0.0 wow. anyone else check out that number of reviews there? AWESOME! You guys make me so happy with your reviews and how many of you read this! It's simply amazing.  
Okay, so, i promise after this chapter, we'll start getting somwhere with this story.  
ENJOY!**

Voices.

Damn, that's cliché. That voices are the first thing you hear when you wake up.

Wait, what, I was sleeping?

No, no, I was _unconscious_.

But anyway, voices, yes, I was hearing them. Fuzzy at first, quiet, just a few words. Then I could make out the full sentences. But it didn't matter what they were saying, because I knew I was just imagining the voices. Because the people that the voices belonged too couldn't really be there.

So I didn't pay much attention to them. I caught my name a few times, and a couple words that I understood but didn't make sense. I just listened to the sound of the voices, and then I think I was being touched. Nothing made sense until my memory came back to me, in an unpleasant rush, making my eyelids flutter.

I think I started saying Alice's name over and over again, reaching blindly and weakly for nothing. I felt my hands being gently pushed back down, being held, and I still couldn't bring myself to open my eyes.

"Take it easy, Bella. You're okay, it's okay. Alice is fine, don't worry right now."

I shook my head, and there was sharp pain. "No, no, no, Alice," I mumbled. "Alice, Alice, Alice…."

"Isabella? Can you hear me?" Jasper asked. "Isabella, can you open your eyes, darlin'?"

I tried. I opened them for a second, the picture of what I saw not registering in my mind until after I had my eyes closed again. God, I was so tired. I just wanted to go back to sleep.

But I forced my eyes open again. This time I was able to keep them open. Cold hands holding mine, I was able to slip one hand out from under the cold one to rub the sleep out of my eyes. Blurred vision at first, but everything came into focus in the next second.

The first thing I saw was Jasper's face, the same pretty much hard expression he always wears, except this time you can see concern. A little. Um…he cares in his own way?

Next to Jasper stood the pale, blonde, beautiful, and completely unmistakable as anyone else in the world, Dr. Carlisle Cullen.

That's why I knew this wasn't real. Dr. Cullen is not here. Not at Jasper's house. Not with me. Not holding my hand.

They both were silent, waiting eagerly it seemed. Was I supposed to say something?

"Um…," I squeaked. "Personal space, please?"

They both quickly moved back a little, they were way too up in my face before. They still stayed close though, and Dr. Cullen didn't let go of my hand.

I took a second to survey the surroundings. I was in Jasper's room, laying on his bed, (which was _incredibly _comfy), with Jasper and Dr. Cullen standing on either side of me. There was some doctor-looking stuff at the end of the bed. I also took the time to notice that Dr. Cullen was holding something to the back of my head, to a spot which was coursing with sharp pain.

"Bella, how do you feel?" Dr. Cullen asked.

"Strange," I answered honestly. "My head really hurts." I nearly whimpered. I went to shift myself into a more upright sitting position but the slight movement I made I made too fast, my head spun, my vision blurred momentarily, and I gasped in pain.

Dr. Cullen let go of my hand and gently helped me up more, and Jasper fixed the pillows behind me in a flash. I leaned back and sighed.

"What the hell is going on?" I demanded weakly. "What happened?" _Was there supposed to be this much pain in a dream? _

Dr. Cullen looked at me, then Jasper, and Jasper asked me, "You don't remember?"

"I remember," I said, "Some. Most…but…I don't understand…."

Jasper sighed. "Well, let's recap, shall we? Your friend Alice has screwed herself for breaking a deal, you flipped out and hitched a ride on my leg, then you fell down the stairs. I only caught you after you head had already hit the ground, and…the doc will take it from there." He looked at Dr. Cullen.

"Your concussion is a little more than _minor_," Dr. Cullen began, "but it's not so severe that I need to treat it in a hospital. Not that Mr. Whitlock would let me anyhow. To sum up, you have a large bump where you hit your head, and also a hematoma—"

I stopped him there. "A what?"

"A very large bruise," he explained. "Bleeding under the scalp. It will go away on its own with time, you just need to ice is frequently to help it decrease in size. Right now your head is bleeding, that's why I'm holding gauze to it."

_Blood._

_Ah, feeling sick…._

"It's not as bad as you think it is," Dr. Cullen continued. "It's stopping, it will stop soon. You're just going to want to take Tylenol. Listen to me. Right now, Tylenol is your best friend."

I couldn't stop the smile. He's said that to me so many times before, every time it makes me laugh.

"It's perfectly alright for you to sleep, but someone needs to wake you up for a little while every three-to-four hours. You might feel very tired. You might vomit. All this is expected."

I was silent for a very long time. I looked down, thinking, working it out in my mind, trying to understand all this.

"So…this is really real, isn't it," I said.

"Of course it is," Jasper said, rolling his eyes.

"Are you shocked, Bella," Dr. Cullen asked, "that _you _fell down stairs? Oh, I know, I know, who would have thought _you _of all people would get a concussion from a staircase."

I looked up at him, smiling despite myself. "Why do you like to mock me?"

He shrugged. "It's entertaining."

"You're cruel."

He laughed, and leaned down to me so we could exchange kisses on the cheek. "I am glad you're alright," he said.

I looked at Jasper suddenly, forgetting he was here, forgetting where I was, and then the red flag went up in my mind. What was going on? Again, it didn't make sense. Something was very wrong here.

"Wait, what do you mean that Jasper wouldn't let you take me to the hospital?" I asked. "Will someone tell me what's going on here? Jasper?" I looked between the two of them, but Jasper was just almost glaring at Dr. Cullen, and Dr. Cullen looked down at the floor almost shamefully, sad eyes only glancing up at me a few times. "What's the matter with you two?" I nearly screamed in frustration.

I scrutinized the two of them in the silence, then I realized the similarities between the two. I looked down at Dr. Cullen's cold hand that laid on top of mine. The smoothness, the coldness, the hardness of the skin, all the same as Jasper's skin. The purple circles around the eyes, the same. The paleness of skin, the same.

And if Dr. Cullen wasn't what I thought he was, then truly none of this would make sense.

Or I'm officially going insane.

"Say it, Isabella," Jasper urged me. "You're right. You know. Say it to Dr. Cullen."

I looked up at Dr. Cullen, and he was looking at me this time. He smiled a little—reluctant, sad smile—and gave a little nod.

"You're a…?" I started to ask, but I couldn't bring myself to finish the sentence.

"He's a vampire," Jasper said.

I wanted to shake my head, but I stopped myself in time, reminding myself of the pain. "That can't be true. That's not true. Look at his eyes. Dr. Cullen, your eyes are golden. Jasper's are red, Peter's are red, Charlotte's are red. Bullshit."

"Bella," Dr. Cullen said, his tone incredibly soft and kind, "it is true. I'm a vampire. And my eyes are golden because I don't…have the same…eating habits…as Mr. Whitlock here does. I don't…I don't feed of the blood of humans, Bella."

I was in shock.

"I am one of very few vampires who have learned to survive off the blood of animals. I am actually the one who first came up with that idea and have a few followers of it. And also many enemies because of it. I'm often thought of as a lunatic. I am nearly four hundred years old."

"Oh my God!" That number brought me right out of my shock. "Wow."

_Four hundred. I thought Jasper was old, and he's only about two and a half hundred. _

I looked at Jasper. "He is so much cooler than you."

Dr. Cullen laughed. His laugh was golden, I just had to laugh with him.

"_Stregone Benefico_," Jasper said. "The healer. The good vampire." He looked between me and Dr. Cullen then quickly turned his back on us with an angry noise that was like a hiss, a disgusted sneer, and he left without another word.

I looked back at Dr. Cullen for an explanation.

"The bleeding stopped," Dr. Cullen said quietly, taking his hand and the blood gauze away from the back of my head.

"The blood doesn't bother you?" I asked.

He shook his head. "I've had centuries to get used to the smell of human blood. I work in a hospital, where the scent of blood in constantly in the air, and by this time I barely even notice it. There is no thirst, no pull toward it anymore."

"How to you and Jasper know each other?"

He sighed. "I knew Jasper when he was a human. I was a friend of his father's. I was with his father when he was at his final moments, and at that time Jasper was just going away to join the army. He was…seventeen then, if I remember correctly. And I was with him during the war, I treated many wounded at that time.

"So he knew me his whole life, but he didn't come to hate me until later on. Of course, I'm sure you know his story, and how he turned cold. It was certainly hard for me to see that, I'll admit it. He was the sweetest little boy. Kind, charismatic…if I was telling it all, he was a real crybaby sometimes."

I laughed.

"He threw a lot of tantrums, and he was pretty looking like a girl. And my, those big blue eyes. But he was undeniably sweet, with the biggest heart." Dr. Cullen scowled slightly. "Now he may just have the biggest black heart. I don't blame him. I blame the way he was turned and the way he was taught. I ran into him only decades later, I think it was just the turn of the twentieth century. I couldn't have been more shocked.

"I only wanted to help him though, really. He didn't want my help at all. I tried to tell him about my discovery, about the animal blood. He wouldn't have any of it. Just because I tried to persuade him, he—" He stopped suddenly, looking down at me. He grimaced slightly and said, "Never mind."

_Ugh! Jeez! Do I ever get to know _anything_?_

"Well, he absolutely convinced me as to how evil he actually was. So I regarded him just as that, so cruel, the way he loves it. I'm afraid the Jasper I knew is gone. Now stands Major Jasper Whitlock, menacing, vicious…maybe even heartless."

"I don't think so," I disagreed quietly.

He sighed deeply, faint traces of a smile coming to his lips. "I don't think so either. I never thought so, and I still don't believe that though I say it. It's hard to come to terms with. It just upsets me so."

I took his hand with both of mine, and gave him a reassuring smile. He smiled back and sat on the edge of the bed, laying his other hand on top of ours.

"But why does Jasper hate you?" I pressed. "I…I just can't understand how anyone can't hate you. You, Dr. Cullen, are the most kind, good-hearted _person_," emphasis on that word because, although I haven't met many vampires, I could honestly say that Dr. Cullen was the most human vampire on earth, "that has ever walked the earth."

He nodded, smiling more genuine now. "Thank you, Bella. And please, would you call me Carlisle."

"Carlisle," I said with a smile, testing the name.

"Jasper hates me because I care about him," he said. "Or because I'm so kind to him regardless of how horrible he is to me."

Oh, now that just makes me pissed.

"That's just fucked up, Carlisle," I said in outrage. "Sorry my French is off, but you shouldn't have to take any shit from anyone, especially not from Jasper. Now, I've put up with a lot from him, but this is over the top. Not on my life is anyone going to have an attitude towards _you_, Carlisle."

He laughed at my passionate outburst. "I appreciate that, Bella, but please, calm down before you give yourself a stroke. And knowing you, that could happen like a snap of the fingers."

I chuckled.

He got up for just a second to check the back of my head, and sat back down. He looked at me in wonder and said, "You are the luckiest person alive. I can't fathom how such a walking disaster as you can survive for as long as you have with all these accidents."

"Damn, you're mean to me."

He laughed.

"So, how are you here?" I asked. "I mean, if Jasper hates you so much, why does he allow you to be here?"

"I'm part of his little scheming here, I suppose. I know all about it, the newborn training, and the Volturi. I was once part of the Volturi, in my very early years. I suppose I work for Jasper, he controls me."

"What do you mean?"

"Basically he can get me to do whatever he wants."

"Why don't you fight back?" I couldn't understand Carlisle.

"I don't wish to fight anyone," he said, shaking his head. "Fighting will get us nowhere, only back where we were before. And that's only if it doesn't end in the death of one of us. I don't wish to die quite yet, and I certainly don't want to kill Jasper. I am completely against the killing of anyone, and Jasper is one of the very last people I would want to die."

"Jasper wouldn't kill you," I said. "He wouldn't. He just couldn't. But you can't let him control you like that, he's not your boss. And he's not even nice to you, on top of that. You can't let him treat you like that. I'm not even saying physically fight him, just…put your foot down, for Christ's sake! And anyway, I think if it did come down to a fight, you would seriously kick Jasper's controlling ass."

He chuckled. "Ah, well, maybe. I'd say the odds are even between us. We do have matched skills. But he has an advantage, his little power to control emotions."

"Oh." I had forgotten about that.

"He can change my emotions as fast as I can blink. He could make me so tried that I couldn't fight him, or so calm that I wouldn't think about fighting. He can make me completely submissive to him. Or he can make me fear him."

"I can't imagine that."

"Oh, but it can happen."

After a long silence, I decided to change the subject.

"So, what is it that you enjoy about being a doctor?" I wondered. "Tell me." It didn't make sense to me—the years of struggle and self-denial he must have spent to get to the point where he could endure this so easily, the blood thirst.

Besides, I wanted to keep him talking; the conversation kept my mind off everything else. Carlisle was nice to talk to, almost like an instant stress-reliever.

"Hmm. What I enjoy the very most is when my…enhanced abilities let me save someone who would otherwise have been lost. It's pleasant knowing that, thanks to what I can do, some people's lives are better because I exist."

I smiled and nodded in understanding.

"Even the sense of smell is a useful diagnostic tool at times." One side of his mouth pulled up in half a smile and I mulled that over.

I shook my head sadly—and carefully. "And you didn't even choose it." I meant becoming a vampire. "That must've been really hard."

He shrugged lightly. "Like everything else in life, I just had to decide what to do with what I was given."

"Did you ever think of…just doing it the easy way? Just drinking human blood? I mean, why do you even do it?"

"I have a very unusual respect for all life," he answered. "Killing is monstrous, and I don't want to be a monster. No, I've never thought of just doing it the easy way. I knew what I wanted to be. I wanted to help people. It brings me happiness. Even if I am damned like the others."

"Damned?" I repeated. "You mean like Hell?"

The look in his golden eyes told a thousand stories and said it all.

"Carlisle, you couldn't be damned," I said sincerely. "Not is this life, not in the past, and not in the next. Not on any planet or in any universe. You just couldn't be damned, it's impossible."

"Thank you, Bella," he said again. "By all other accounts though, we are damned. But I hope, maybe foolishly, I'll get some measure of credit for trying." He smiled a little. "I'm sure all this sounds a little bizarre, coming from a vampire."

"I don't think that's foolish," I mumbled. I couldn't imagine anyone who wouldn't be impressed by Carlisle. "I think the word 'foolish' is _foolish_. And I don't think anyone who knew you would think it was foolish either."

"Actually, you're the very first one to agree with me."

"Well…that's because I'm open-minded like you, and I know you."

He nodded. "That's true."

"I understand you, Carlisle," I said. "It's nice to understand."

"And I thank you for listening. Sometimes I just ramble on and forget to give the other person a break."

I laughed, and so did he.

When the laughter stopped, I asked, "So…you would still refuse to stand up to Jasper?"

"I would not think about trying to stand up to him," he answered at once.

I was a little disappointed with that answer. "You know, I never would have thought you would be so afraid of anything. Even with a chance of losing you life. I know I would fight, even under a circumstance like that I would fight, because that's better than submitting."

He gave me a sad, sympathetic smile, his kind eyes twinkling. "It's not _my _life I fear for, Bella. It's _yours._"

**OH YEAH BABY! Dr. Carlisle is back and here to STAY!  
*happy dance*  
I apologize for the lack of Jasper in this chapter, but I got so wrapped up in Carlisle. Oh, come on! You know you'd do it too if you were me! Carlisle's just so...Carlisle. ...Yeah.  
P.S. Has anyone ever heard the song Bohemian Rhapsody by Queen. Bis-mil-LAH! If you have not, you must go look it up right now! Weirdest freakin' song EVER! But it's AWESOME! And I can't stop singing it on Rock Band 3! lol.  
* * * * * REVIEW FOR TEASERS * * * * * **


	14. Chapter 14

**Hey guys, sorry this took so long. Things have been going on... Family probs... anyways you don't wanna hear. skip to the story. ENJOY!**

**Bella POV**

My head was feeling much better the next morning, and even though I had to keep icing it and Carlisle had to keep waking me up from sleep every three hours, I felt very rested. I wasn't tired. Carlisle said that was good. I was just happy I wasn't vomiting anymore, because after the second time he woke me up, I got very, very sick.

It was horrible.

Charlotte urged me to eat something, I refused. Carlisle urged me the same to put some food in my stomach, and after little whining I finally complied and ate.

I felt better.

I had been up for a while now, it was almost two in the afternoon. Charlotte was in and out of the house. Peter I had seen once today. Jasper I hadn't seen at all. Carlisle and I were just sitting on the couch in the living room. We sat next to each other, me upside down on the couch, flipping through TV channels, just talking about nothing back and forth to each other.

Nothing like the long conversation Carlisle and I had yesterday. Man, that was a _deep _conversation.

_It's yours. _

I couldn't stop thinking about when he said that to me. I know my life is in such danger, I know I'm not safe here, I pretty much know that I'll most likely end up dying here. And none of those things ever really got stuck in mind or effected me so much as when Carlisle told me that he feared for my life, when he said those eerie, haunting words to me.

"I wish you wouldn't sit like that, Bella," Carlisle said, shaking his head a little, breaking my thoughts. "It must not be good for your head."

I sighed and flipped over, laying myself across the couch to appease him. He touched my hair briefly.

"Thank you."

There was nothing good on TV. _Lost, Millionaire Matchmaker, Dora the Explorer, The Real House-bitches of Atlanta…._

"Ooh, _Princess Bride,_" I said, and turned on the HBO channel. That was one of my favorite movies in the whole world.

We watched that in silence for a while. Well, almost silent, because I was saying the lines to myself as the actors said them, because I did know the movie word for word. Carlisle laughed at me when I did Inigo's Spanish accent.

"Oh, Carlisle!" I said suddenly. "I completely forgot to ask you, how's Edward and Alice?" Maybe he could give me some comfort, I needed to know these things.

But his expression saddened, and he sighed. "Well, Alice has been deemed insane."

"Yeah, I know," I interrupted.

"Bella, I promise you, as soon as I can, I will get back to them and get Alice out of there. And Edward…well…the poor boy is close to Alice's state. Losing both you and Alice like that is seriously taking a toll on him. I've been trying to help him out…but you know Edward…."

I frowned. "Yeah, I know exactly what you mean," I muttered.

At that time, Charlotte came inside at sat with us.

Eventually, I just had to ask where Jasper was.

"He's outside," Charlotte said. "Just working with the newborns."

Yes, I kept hearing this, but I was still unsure of what he did. Newborn vampires, I had never seen them. Jasper always said how uncontrollable with thirst they were. I was curious to see how he dealt with them. Actually, I wanted to know what exactly he did, how he got the ready to be in the Volturi guard. After all, shouldn't I learn this? Because sooner or later, I'll most likely be a newborn vampire going through the same training. Why not learn now? Get ahead of the game, right?

No.

"Do you wanna see him, Bella?" Charlotte asked. "Go outside and see what they're up to? Maybe some fresh air will do you some good."

"Yes, Bella, you should go get some fresh air," Carlisle insisted.

I glared at Charlotte. "I do _not _want to see Jasper. I need bamboo sticks shoved under my nails more than I need to see Jasper." I needed to make the perfectly clear. "But yeah, I guess some air would be nice."

"Come on," she said, and she helped me up, and we walked to the back door together and outside.

O-M-F-G his backyard.

Jasper had acres and acres of land behind his house, all closed in by the dark thickness of trees, forest all surrounding, and all lamely fenced off by a little wooden fence. Of course, I could tell that was just for the horses, which I could see grazing in the distance. There were also two little houses further down. Stables, I guessed.

It was _beautiful_.

And then there was Jasper, I spotted out his blonde hair immediately. When I saw him, I couldn't help but think about what Carlisle said about him, both the good and the bad things. Jasper, the insanely sweet, blue-eyed child…and Jasper the black hearted—if not heartless—Major Whitlock who is cruel in the most malicious way and controlling.

_How sad. _

I know the blue-eyed child was in his somewhere. It must be. No one—no matter how cruel you pretend to be—has lost their humanity completely. And it's not because he's a vampire, because just look at Carlisle, and even Peter and Charlotte. He can't blame it on the vampirism. I could understand what Carlisle said about it being blamed on how he was taught, and that's what I believe. He's just been misguided his entire life.

Sigh.

I walked with Charlotte down the back stairs—that is, I walked very slowly and very carefully, gripping the railing very tightly, and these where stone steps mind you—and onto the grass. It was beautiful outside. And warm today. I had chosen wrong with the black sweater this morning. It was too hot for that. But I kept it on, seeing as all I was wearing underneath was a tank-top, and maybe it wasn't a good idea to expose so much skin in the neck area around all these vampires.

Jasper was observing, as Charlotte and I were. There were—I think—seven vampires. The newborns. It was hard to count them because they moved so fast sometimes that I couldn't see them, I could only count them if they ever paused for a second. But they seemed to be all fighting with each other. Sparring actually, learning how to fight. Jasper observed, standing to the sidelines, arms folded over his chest. Peter was amongst the midst of the newborn training field, teaching, directing.

And I never thought Jasper could be more of a bastard…until I saw him training newborns.

He stopped everything with a frustrated wave of his hand, stepping into where Peter was. "Stop, stop, stop!" he cried. "All of you! What the _hell _are you all doing?"

One by one, all the vampires froze in their places, looking to Jasper apprehensively. Jasper made a sharp hand motion for them to come closer to him, and they carefully inched closer.

"I," Jasper began, "have given you all _immortality_. And…I'm not sure that any of you idiots can apprehend what that actually means. I have given you _power, _power far beyond anything you can imagine. And you don't know what to do with it the damned slightest.

"Now, listen to me. If you even try to fight someone the way you are, you will all die. Feeling cocky? Feeling like no one can destroy you, beat you down? Oh, I know that's how you all feel. That's the power working on you. But does anybody need me to display how easily one of you can be destroyed?"

His eyes swept over the group, hard, challenging, willing to make true to the threat.

"I'm trying to teach you how to fight, how to survive in the world. But maybe I'm just wasting my breath on you. Maybe I should just all kill you myself, seeing as none of you have the potential to survive three minutes outside of this training field. My words are no good to you if you won't listen, or if you're going to forget. I will repeat these words to you every five minutes if needed, because they _will _be engraved in your head, or you _will _be _dead_.

"The way you're fighting, fighting off instinct. No. _Never _fight instinctually. If you start to give over to your instincts, you will start to feel that thirst. When that happens, you'll want to focus on nothing else. If you lose focus, you die. You're still newborns, remember that. How's that thirst? Burning? Unbearable? I don't give a damn! You don't get your blood until the day is over, and by that time I _will _see improvement in your fighting."

And that was finally the end of his long, frightening speech. I've learned one thing: Never let Jasper try to give someone a pep talk.

When Jasper turned around, his eyes landed on me instantly, like they were designed to just find me. And I don't mean like that "he only has eyes for you" crap. I mean like, every time he looks at me, I'm getting in trouble. And he does that on purpose.

And I was right on the mark, as he stalked right over to me and Charlotte, glaring.

"What the hell is she doing out here?" he demanded to Charlotte.

Charlotte crossed her arms over her chest defiantly. "Calm down, Jasper, she just wanted to see. Plus, Bella can't stay in the house all the time, you know. She _is_ human. And she needs some fresh air."

"It doesn't have to be here, it doesn't have to be now," Jasper said fiercely. "You know I'm busy, you know what I'm doing at here. It's completely irresponsible of you, Charlotte, to bring Bella out here now. The current environment is far too dangerous for her, and I would have thought no one knew that better than you."

Charlotte winced.

"Now get her back in the house before something happens. I can't do everything around here."

And he turned his back and went off, and I was left gawking after him.

"Damn, someone's in a mood," I muttered, but I didn't care if he heard me.

Jasper just laughed.

"Come on, Bella," Charlotte said begrudgingly, touching my arm lightly. "Let's go back inside. There's nothing really to do out here anyway."

"Alright, after all, this isn't really fresh air. I wouldn't want to breathe the same vampire polluted air that Jasper is breathing." I said this loudly, meant for Jasper to hear. Yeah, that was probably silly and childish, but he just makes me _so mad. _I can't help it.

No change in Jasper. Frozen as a statue, his back to me. The only movement was the slight breeze that blew his hair around.

I briefly considered throwing a rock at him, but I knew with my bad aim I would most likely miss and then look stupid. Or, if I was lucky, I would hit him and then he would get super pissed. Should I risk that?

Yes I should.

But Charlotte was already guiding me away before I could duck down and scoop up a rock, and I didn't want to fight with her, so I went quietly but fuming.

"Charlotte," I asked when we got inside, "what did he mean when he said that no one should know that better than you?"

She sighed. "Oh, nothing really." But she sounded nervous. "I…when I first started this thing with Peter and Jasper…I…" She sighed again. "I sort of…went out there alone…and…well…." She looked me in the eyes for a second, I could see a little flash of embarrassment and pain there. Then she pulled up the sleeves of her white sweater and held her arms out, and at once I spotted out the purple crescent scars. Clear bite marks.

"Holy shit," I muttered in outrage and shock.

She pulled the sweater back down. "I have them all over. Jasper basically saved my ass that day." She looked away. "He never brings it up like that though. He knows what a touchy subject that is for me."

I was incredulous to say the least.

Carlisle walked over to us at that moment. "Are you two alright? What's happened?"

"Jasper's a bitch!" I abruptly shouted, making both of them jump. "That's what's happened! Jasper's an insensitive bitch!"

Carlisle was taken aback. "Bella, what did he do?"

"He's—he…" I stuttered. I growled in frustration and stormed over to the back door, kicked it and banged on it and scream, "HE'S ALIVE!" hoping he would hear me. "He makes everything go to hell because he's alive!"

Both Charlotte and Carlisle took me into their arms, telling me it's alright, everything was going to be fine, calm down.

"Shhh," Charlotte soothed. "Bella, sweetheart, calm down. It's just fine, hon, don't worry. You don't need to freak out."

"I think I have the right to freak out, Dammit!" I yelled, and stomped my foot on the ground.

Charlotte and Carlisle exchanged worried glances. Charlotte murmured to Carlisle that she would handle it, cleared her throat, and began pulling me aside.

"Bella, honey," Charlotte said softly, "is it that time of the month?"

I stared at her. I blinked. Then I growled with frustration and stormed up the stairs to my room.

OoOoOoOoOoOo

**Jasper POV**

_'Bad mood_' she says.

Honey, every damn day.

Deal with it.

Peter was a little sour towards me for being so harsh with Charlotte. Honestly, I didn't mean to. I was just angry.

_And isn't that your excuse for everything? _Something in the back of my mind challenged bitterly.

_Oh, shut the _fuck _up._

I crossed my arms and closely surveyed the newborns. With extreme caution I watched the newborns train, searching for any signs of true menace.

We had already lost a newborn this morning, far too hard to control. I just can't watch one newborn every second of the day until they learn control—and who knows how long that would take! I haven't the time nor the patience for such a thing. I already have Isabella.

_Cringe. _

With skillful eyes I inspected the faux-fighting, detecting their weak points which I would have Peter work on with them later. My senses were wired, alive, taking in every insignificant emotion that passed through everyone on the field, ready to attack if needed. Newborns were unpredictable, I was lucky for my gift.

Only one thing was so unpredictable, even with my gift, and that was Isabella. It didn't matter what she was feeling, she always surprised me with everything she said.

I thought regrettably back on the dream I had last night.

Yes, vampires actually can sleep. And we don't sleep in coffins. We don't _need _to sleep—why would we? Our bodies are supplied with endless energy, why would we need to rest to reenergize? But we can sleep if we wish to.

I didn't even really mean to fall asleep. I just laid on my bed, closed my eyes, and let my mind wander. Before I knew what happened, I was dreaming. Losing myself in the most vivid, strangest, but most intriguing dream I've ever had.

_Isabella and I, laying in a beautiful little meadow somewhere. A small, glittery pond, and weeping willows lit with little lanterns. Two horses, and white and pink water lilies floating lazily on the surface of the pond. Fireflies lighting up here and there._

_"Doesn't it ever frighten you that death means nothing to you?" Isabella asked me._

_"Why should death frighten me? If what state I'm in now is not already a death then I know nothing of death. If this is my death, my hell, I am not frightened."_

_"Doesn't anything scare you?" she demanded of me, getting irritated now._

_"Everyone is scared of something," I answered vaguely. "Even if they won't admit it, everyone has a fear."_

_"And yours would be….?"_

_I sighed, met the gaze of her big, chocolate eyes, and—_

I woke up. I nearly screamed out loud when my eyes snapped open, and I sat up and stood up in one fluid motion. Then, dazed and confused, I fell back down onto my bed.

_I want to see her._

Suddenly I needed to. I wanted to see Isabella.

I caught Peter's eyes with my own and gave him a signal that I would be back in a moment. I was in the house in the next moment, and I caught the sight of Charlotte sitting on the stairs. She looked up at me, not hiding her hurt or hatred. I stared at her for a long time, then murmured something almost incoherent about Peter needing her help. She stood up, fists clenched.

"Don't worry, Jasper," she hissed, "I never expected your apology."

She moved to brush past me, but at once I caught her arm and stopped her. She froze but didn't look back at me. I didn't look back at her either, my gaze solidly on the stair I was eye level with.

"I'm sorry," I said sincerely.

I let my fingers loosen from around the top of her arm, and then my fingers were resting on nothing but air. I sighed and started up the steps to Isabella's room.

My un-beating heart nearly jumped out of my chest when Isabella's shriek suddenly pierced through the air. I didn't think for a second before I was already in her room, and in the bathroom where she was.

She was on the floor, knees drawn up to her chest, pressed firmly against the bathroom wall. Her eyes were wide, panic-stricken.

"What the hell happened?" I demanded frantically. "What's wrong?"

"There's a spider!" she yelled. "In the sink!"

I felt my expression go blank.

_I swear to God I did _not _just hear what I thought I did. _

She pointed to the sink.

When I finally leaned over to look down into the sink I saw a huge, hairy, brown spider in the sink, crawling quickly towards my hand. I picked up the spider, Isabella screaming again when I did, and dropped it on the floor, then crushed it under the heel of my shoe.

"Isabella!" I growled as I turned back to her. "I thought someone was trying to kill you! It was just a tiny spider! Absolutely ridiculous!" Oh, I was so furious I could break the damn counter if I laid a hand on it.

"That thing was _huge_!" she disagreed.

"All you had to do what squish it!"

"Yeah right, I'm not getting remotely near any spiders!"

"You're such a child!" I exclaimed.

She huffed, stood, up, and began to stomp out of the room, me following her immediately. "So what if I am?" she snapped.

"It was only a spider!"

"A big spider!" she repeated.

"You're being ridiculous!"

She stopped abruptly and spun towards me. "_I'm _being ridiculous?" she asked incredulously. "_You're _the one who's actually fighting with me about this!"

She turned again and stalked straight back into the bathroom and slammed the door on my face, and right after I heard the lock clicking into its place.

I sighed sharply, putting my hand against the door.

"Explain me this," I said, "how are you more afraid of a tiny spider than you are afraid of me?"

"I never said I wasn't afraid of you," she muttered from the other side of the door.

"How come you don't scream every time you see _me_?"

"I'm screaming on the inside," she mocked bitterly.

I hated the door between us. I wanted to see her, make eye contact while I spoke to her. And how dare she close the door on me anyway!

"Open the door," I commanded. "Now."

"I don't want to," she said, and again was the child's defiant tone, like a five year old complaining about not wanting to eat their vegetables.

"Isabella, open the door or _I'll _open it," I threatened.

"You better not, or Charlotte will kick your ass," she said. "And I'll help."

I waited, which took much control.

"And I have to go to the bathroom," she said.

I straightened and folded my arms across my chest. "I'll _wait_," I informed her.

And so I did. I stood right at the door, waiting. But she was taking so long! Suspiciously long. When she was done I heard no toilet paper moving, I heard no flush. Nothing. I actually heard nothing.

I knocked, maybe more forcefully than I should have. "Isabella?" I called. "Answer me! Say something or the door comes off!"

Nothing.

I grabbed the doorknob, gave it a little twist, and the lock and knob broke. I pushed the door open.

No Isabella.

She had placed an open water bottle between the toilet bowl and the lid, so that the water poured into the bowl and it _sounded _like she was going to the bathroom. The window was open. Written on the mirror in large letters in dark red lipstick were two words that said it all.

_"See ya!" _

**0.o  
Soooooo...whatdaya think?  
TEASERS FOR REVIEWERS!**


	15. Chapter 15

**WARNING WARNING WARNING! ! ! : after this chapter, you might hate Jasper. I don't know how you'll feel about him, i know some of you are very borderline about him, but please please please please please don't leave me! ! ! Don't hate the story, i SWEAR Jasper will do his damned best to make up for this chapter1 Patience PLEASE!**

**Enjoy!**

**Jasper POV**

It must have been almost a full minute I stared at the red letters on the mirror. Behind them I could see my broken reflection. White face, red eyes, smirk….

I couldn't help myself. Despite how completely livid I was, I couldn't help but smile. She was clever, that much I had to admit. But she was stupid, also. Where did she think she was going to go? How far did she assess she was going to actually make it?

I turned to the window, open as wide as it allowed. A strand of her hair was stuck between the window and the frame. I touched it, but left it there.

No hurry. I took my sweet time walking downstairs, where as soon as I reached the foyer Carlisle came out to me. I composed myself enough to speak.

"What's wrong?" he asked me.

I flashed him a sunless smile, close to laughter. "As if you didn't already know." I turned from a second to call Charlotte to me, normal tone of voice, but she was in the house at once.

"I don't understand," Carlisle said. "Has something happened?"

"Bella's gone," I said.

Charlotte and Carlisle had similar expressions of shock and horror. At the same time, speaking over each other, they demanded what I meant, where is Bella, where could she possibly have gone. _Beats me, your guess is as good as mine._

"Oh, don't play coy with me, Carlisle," I said.

He frowned and shook his head. "I honestly don't know what you mean. Please—"

I was over to him in a flash, grabbing him by the collar of his shirt and slamming him into the wall behind him. He held his hands up innocently, unmoving.

"Now, now, Jasper, just take it easy—" he began.

I stared icily into his disgustingly golden eyes, he silenced. I was angered mildly that he was an inch taller than me. The emotions in the room went into whack. Complete shock and horror from Charlotte and Carlisle. Other things, confusion, anger, sadness…. Maybe those were all mine. It didn't matter. From Carlisle, I was not buying any of it.

"Oh, Carlisle, Carlisle, Carlisle…" I shook my head. "How you've done nothing but insult me since you got here. I heard your entire conversation with Bella the other day. My God, I don't need you telling Bella all about my sad past. It's over, you need to get over it too. Forget it. It. does. Not. Exist." I hissed. "And now this? Do you think I'm an idiot? Is that what I look like to you? Does it look like I'm falling for any of your bullshit?"

"Jasper—"

"Hold your tongue, Carlisle, or you'll lose it. I'm not done. And do you know what else I'm losing? I'm losing my patience. Every ounce of it slowly dissolving. I don't think you want to see me when I have no patience left. Don't toy with me now, Carlisle. And think very carefully before you speak."

"Bella ran away?" he asked, his eyes widening.

"She ran. She was waiting for that favorable moment since she got here, and she ran. But do you know what just puzzles me, Carlisle? After you get her she decided to run. After your oh, so, insightful story of your life and mine."

"I did _not _help Bella run away, if that's what you're saying."

I beamed. "Ding ding ding! We have a winner!"

He just shook his head again. "I don't care what you do to me, but don't hurt her, Jasper. You have a gift, Jasper, and you should use it. Feel her emotions, know what she's going through. you don't even try to understand."

Now I was the one confused. I didn't follow.

"Don't blame Bella," he pleaded. "You just can't possibly blame Bella. Anyone would do the same. She's scared. She ran. That's normal."

"Here's the thing," I said, "I don't give a fuck."

I really didn't. After all it was she that brought this upon herself. I wasn't going to lay a hand on her. It was she who traded herself for her little friend Alice. And now she's run away! That is a broken deal, the rules of this game no longer apply. She just screwed herself, it's not my fault.

And what reason did she have for running! I let her stay in my house. I gave her her own room, her own bathroom, her own complete wardrobe and anything else she would need. She was free to go about the house as she wished. She had Charlotte to do whatever with. With Charlotte, she could go outside if she wished, (at appropriate time of course). All I asked was that she remain here!

I growled quietly and leaned towards Carlisle, and my razor teeth at his neck threateningly. "You're walking on thin ice, Carlisle." I growled into his ear. "I am going to find Isabella, and I am going to bring her back here. And if I want to, I will chain her to the fucking wall in the basement."

OoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOo

**Bella POV**

That was almost too easy.

I realize that should frighten me, but the more I think about it, the closer I get to shitting my pants. I could not believe what I just did!

Oh, don't worry though, I wasn't bullshitting myself or anyone. I knew I probably had no chance of getting anywhere. But I would try. I just actually can't believe how far I had gotten already.

Up in the bathroom, waiting for Jasper to knock down the door, I decided it was a perfect opportunity to get the hell out of there. It was all pre-planned of course, I opened the window earlier that day. The water bottle was convenient, that little trick I used I totally stole from that movie _Enough_. Who knew Jenifer Lopez could actually do something helpful, nice to know she's good for something.

Well, out the open window I went, climbing down some damn strong vines that were growing up the wall on what was a piece of plastic fencing. I'm not usually afraid of heights, but that was scary, and in my haste I nearly fell twice. My heart was still recovering from that.

I had barely touched the ground when I was suddenly grabbed from behind. Cold hard skin, and arms wrapped around my waist and a hand covering my mouth so I couldn't scream as I was ripped away from the wall. I screamed anyway, but it was barely heard, and I thrashed around. Frantically I thought, _newborns! Oh my God, I didn't even consider them! Now I'll be eaten alive by newborn vampires!_ Followed by several curses.

I felt the rush of air, and I didn't know where I was. I was suddenly in the middle of the woods, the house scarcely seen. I was put down on my feet and turned around, hand still over my mouth. It was Carlisle. **(A/N How many of you thought Carlisle was actually innocent in the beginning? ;D) **Carlisle was the one who grabbed me. I silenced at once and Carlisle took his hand away.

"You're stubborn and foolish and impossibly uncontrollable," he said, holding me by the tops of my arms. "And have not much time. Now run. Go fast and don't look back, and we'll hold Jasper off."

I didn't stop to think to try and understand, I just took Carlisle's advice and ran. I don't think I'd ever ran so fast in my life. I took off like a rocket, didn't glance back once, and just ran. And so I still was, running away.

But where am I supposed to go? Not slowing to think about it, just running. The farther I get from Jasper, the better I feel. I already feel freer. But soon I'll have to think about where to go, and the reason why is because I can keep running—I know I can—but there's nowhere to run to. I only know one thing, I can't go to any people for help. I can't bring any humans into this mess, that would be like finding Jasper something to snack on. No people, no help. I'm alone, I have to help myself.

But even if I was going to run to people, I wouldn't know where to go. There was nothing around me. I've been running straight down the same road and have gone maybe almost a mile and have passed nothing but open land, and ahead of me I saw nothing but that and a little farmhouse.

_Fuck Montana. _

This is ridiculous!

Where are the people!

I was getting tired now, even though I didn't dare stop running. I was breathing heavily, my heart was slamming in my chest, and legs ached badly and my lungs burned. It was hot outside and I was sweating, and tears began streaming down my face. I don't know how much time I was running for.

Finally, I stopped. I don't know why I stopped, but I couldn't move anymore. I stood on the side of the road, crying, hands in my hair, and I looked back. The house was not in sight, nothing was in sight. I was hyperventilating then, pacing back and forth. "Oh God, oh God, oh God, oh God," I kept repeating. Then I starting bawling, falling onto my knees in the grass.

There I stayed for about a minute, just crying so hopelessly. I tried to speak, but it was incoherent mumblings or broken cries. I didn't know what I was saying, and I didn't know who I was talking to. When I looked down the road, I saw this minivan coming down the road. I gasped and immediately jumped up, running again.

I hardly think Jasper will come looking for me in a minivan, but I couldn't be too safe. I didn't want to trust anything or anyone, especially not people with cars. The car outran me and passed me easily, not stopping, not slowing, but I kept running. I could actually see the sun lowering in the sky now.

I can't say how much longer I ran for, stopping occasionally for a breather, but finally….

Halleluiah! Civilization! I've discovered it!

I was just on the outskirts of the town; Circle, Montana, which I half considered greeting with a middle finger raised to the sky. _Are you even on the fucking map, Circle, Montana?_ I slowed to walk, my heart flooding with relief. I didn't know what I planned on doing from here, but it just felt safer.

Trying to calm myself and look normal, I wiped the sweat and tears from my face and walked into the town. It was starting to get dark now. I passed houses, stores, people on the street. I kept my head down and talked to no one, looked at no one. I stuck to the sidewalk, the shadows, hugging myself and hurrying along. I think I went in a circle, a few times actually. I didn't care. I didn't know where I was, I only knew where I was not; Jasper's house. In which case I was grateful to be in the middle of nowhere.

Eventually I just stopped and sat behind a little convenience store, back against the wall, drawing my knees up to my chest and hugging them. Silently I let tears slip from my eyes.

I didn't sit there hardly a minute before I heard something, close to me. I didn't know what it was. I listened carefully, and I made out a very distinct sniffle. Someone was crying. A girl crying, I could tell.

I looked around, saw no one. Then I heard a bit of shuffling. I stood up at once and went to where I thought it was coming from. Only about three yards from me, behind a couple of garbage cans, was a girl. Her back against the wall, hugging her knees, face down into her knees, crying.

"Oh my God," I muttered. "Hey! Hey, are you okay?"

The girl gasped and looked up at me. I knelt down in front of her, examining her. She looked about my age, with a thin, square face, and on her cheek she has a big bruise, and a spit lip. She was shaking and filthy, her skimpy clothes ripped up. Behind all that dirt, she had deep blue, almond-shaped eyes under nicely arched eyebrows, and she had lovely golden, curly hair. No doubt she was a very beautiful girl, but she had pale skin and was beaten up.

"Oh my God," I said again. "What the hell happened to you."

Her head rolled to the side, she looked away, and tears streamed heavily from her eyes. "Just go away," she said.

"What? No. Hell no. Who the hell did this to you?" I demanded.

"My boyfriend," she cried. "My boyfriend did this to me. My parents are out of town—and he came over—and he was drinking—and he—he—"

She cried heavily, gasping between sobs. I sat next to her, tried to sooth her by hugging her and petting her hair as she clung to me tightly, crying into me. She didn't have to explain anymore, I more or less knew what happened to her, but still she went on.

"I said no, I didn't want to have sex with him, but he—he raped me! And then he passed out! I tried to fight him but I couldn't get away. He…he…"

"Shhh, it's okay, you're okay, don't talk. It's going to be okay. I'm here."

My calming worked eventually. I let her just cry and soon after she was crying more quietly, and she was even down to stopping for short periods of time. My heart was breaking at this, I was almost crying myself.

"What are you doing here?" I asked softly. "Why didn't you go to the police?"

"No police," she said quickly. "I-I don't want to go to the police. I'm t-too afraid to. He'll just hurt me."

"No he won't," I said firmly. "That bastard will not—cannot—hurt you anymore. You need to go to the police and report this, they'll lock him up."

"No, no, you don't understand. His family is very rich. They'll pay whatever they need to to get him out. He'll be out before he's there for an hour, and he'll come for me. I can't, I can't—"

"Okay, okay," I said gently, fearing the rising hysteria in her voice. "Alright, no police. But you do need help."

She didn't say anything, I could feel her shaking violently in my arms.

"Are you alright?"

"It's cold," she said.

I thought it was warm out. But it was dark out now, and there was a slight chill in the breeze. And she was already shaking from being terrified. I leaned away from her for a second to pull off my sweater and offer it to her, and she put it on at once, sniffling and thanking me quietly. She nuzzled against me again. For a long time neither one of us spoke, we just sat there.

"My name is Rosalie Hale," she said. "You can just call me Rose."

I smiled. "I'm Isabella. Just call me Bella."

I heard my name being said, but it wasn't by Rose. I looked up quickly, seeing a sleek, black car that I hadn't seen had pulled up in front of us in the road. I squinted through the darkness.

"Charlotte?" My voice rose two octaves.

"Get the hell in the car, Bella," Peter said sharply. He was driving the car, and Charlotte was sitting in the front passenger's seat. She gave me an apologetic look. "Now, Bella," Peter said. "You can't even begin to imagine how pissed Jasper is right now and every second you're not back at the house is one second closer to him tearing all of our fucking heads off. Now let's go! Or do I have to get out and shove you into the car, because whatever works is fine with me."

I stared at the car, at Peter, at Charlotte, and looked frantically at Rose. My mind was panicking. Peter's made it clear that I'm not getting away this time, but to me Peter doesn't sound the same as when Jasper threatens someone. There wasn't a real threat there. Maybe he wouldn't really drag me into the car. But what if he did? I could try to fight, or I could just go in the car.

I didn't want to get in the car. I didn't want to go back to a furious Jasper. Why would I? Not if my mind had stopped functioning completely would I do something that would bring me back to Jasper.

But I think I needed to go back. What was I supposed to do with Rose? I couldn't leave her here obviously, but she needed help. She needed to go somewhere. We weren't in Forks where I could offer her the hospitality of me own comfy home, the best I could offer her was all I had at Jasper's home.

It would have to work.

I helped Rose carefully stand up. "Rose, you have got to trust me. These are good people. I'll take you back to their house. You need help, and I'm going to help you. I'm going to take care of you, okay?"

She nodded.

I walked her to the care, meeting the gazes of a very confused Peter and Charlotte. "Look, guys," I told them, "this is Rose, and she needs some serious help." I put Rose in the car first and slid in after her, still hugging her. "Don't ask questions, just drive. Quickly."

Peter sighed and shook his head before putting the car back into drive and starting off. "Jasper is _not _going to be _happy_," he muttered.

"I couldn't give less of a shit about what his royal asshole thinks," I snapped back.

He couldn't help but give a snort at that, half smile on his face as he met my gaze in the rearview mirror and shook his head once more. "God Dammit, Bella. You're more trouble than you're worth."

"You're a selfless person, Bella," Charlotte said softly. "You really are."

I smiled a little at that. I sighed and rubbed Rose's arm and she put her head on my shoulder, dreading what awaited back at the house with Jasper.

We made it there much quicker with the car than I made it to the town by running. I stared out the window, into the night, seeing mostly my reflection because of how dark it was out now. I did get to look at one thing though that kind of made this worth it. The stars. I got to look up at the sky and see the stars, twinkling, beautiful. I haven't gotten to just look at them in so long.

We were back at the house in five minutes. Peter stopped that car on the side of the road and we all piled out. The front was open, Peter made us walk through first, then he locked it with a key. I gave him a questioning look.

"Jasper's key," he told me. "I don't even have the keys to anything. Jasper has every key to anything that locks in this house, and the keys to all three cars we have. No spare keys. The front door is locked all the time, from the inside and out."

"Why is the door locked all the time like that?" Rose asked.

"Jasper's…paranoid," I said. "Don't worry about it, Rose."

"Jasper's in the back," Peter said quietly, gesturing me to walk forward. "You need to go explain this to him."

I didn't know how I was going to, but I walked towards the back door. Rose gazed around in wonder as I pulled her along. Back out into the cold night we went, down the stairs and onto the grass. There were lights on out here, just two on the side of the house, dimly illuminating. I could see Jasper and his little group of newborns, the newborns crouched on the grass and gathered around Jasper like her was their first grade teacher telling them a bedtime story.

I didn't want to go any further than a few feet away from the house, not wanting to be near any of the newborn vampires. When we came down though, Jasper and all the newborns turned their heads to look at me. I could see the fury in Jasper's eyes even from the distance, and if looks could kill….

He stalked over to me halfway, not straying too far from his wild newborns and waiting for me to finished the distance. Peter forced me to. Jasper's eyes focused mainly on me as I approached him, but they did glance fleetingly at Rose glued to my side. I couldn't see any other look but anger when he saw Rose, his expression was unchanging. I hated that. I had no idea what he was thinking.

I was finally in front of Jasper, hugging Rose tighter, Peter and Charlotte standing off to the right. Behind them, I could see Carlisle, looking on with concern but silent. Jasper folded his arms across his chest and cocked an eyebrow, but I refused to be the one to speak first.

"Welcome back," he said.

"Thanks for rolling out the red carpet."

The corner of his mouth turned up into a bitter half-smile. "I hope you enjoyed your little time out, because the only time you'll be seeing the outside again is through plate glass. And you're lucky you get that."

"Funny you should say that, because I just thinking how lucky I was."

His smile dissipated. "Isabella, you don't know just how lucky you really are. I've given you plenty of freedoms, more than I should have. Now you have no freedoms. Congratulations. If you would like me to, I can really treat you how I should, like you're my prisoner. Harsh word, yes, but that is what you are. Learn what you are."

"I'm not your prisoner," I growled.

He stepped up to me, only about a foot away now. "You're mine. We had a deal, and you just broke it. The rules of your game no longer apply. We play by my rules now. And trust me on one thing, you will not find how I work now to your liking, but that is of no care of mine. You have no choice now."

"What's going on here?" Rose demanded.

Jasper looked at her like he had just taken notice of her, looking her up and down. "Who is this?"

"This is my friend Rose," I said. "She's with me. I'm helping her."

"Who said you could bring her here?" he snapped at me.

"She needs _help_, Jasper!" I cried. "What was I supposed to do, leave her? Just leave her alone. She's my concern, not yours."

"Everything you do is of my concern," he said. "This is my house. You need to learn who's in charge here. It's unfathomable to me at how little everything here seems to concern you. You know nothing, that's your problem. Maybe I should teach you."

He abruptly grabbed me by the hair and took my away from Rose, turning me to face the newborn vampires with my back against his chest. His hand in my hair hurt, and I was so afraid of what he was going to do. I heard protest from all of them, Peter, Charlotte, Carlisle, and Rose. And Rose didn't even know what was going on. Jasper ignored them all.

"Maybe I should let the newborns play with you for a little while. Would you learn then just how dangerous our kind is? Would he really be afraid then? Would you take this seriously then?"

The newborns looked pleased.

"Maybe I should leave the newborns in Peter's hands, Peter who is more than capable of handling them, and take you on a little trip to Italy. We can go meet the Volturi. I'm sure Aro would be delighted to have a word or two with you." He pulled my head back a little more, and I whined nervously, my hands flying to my head to try and get Jasper's hand away. His cold lips moved against my throat. "Maybe I should just bite you, just change you myself, right here, right now."

I held by the tears, closing my eyes tightly for a second. I wasn't going to scream for him, I wasn't going to beg or cry for him.

"You're the Devil," I spit.

He chuckled quietly, cool breath blowing against my neck, making me shiver. "And I don't need no sympathy, darlin'."

"Fuck you!" I whispered.

"Looks like you need to learn a lesson is respect, too," he said.

"Get the fuck off her!" I heard Rose yell, and Jasper let go of me. I fell onto the ground and scrambled to get back up. When I looked up, I saw Rosalie on Jasper's back, trying to pull his hair out from the roots. I didn't know what to see. Jasper's lips were twisted in a sneer, and he just looked pissed that she was messing up his hair. Of course it didn't hurt him, not even her kicking him in the ribs with her pointy heeled shoes affected him.

I looked all around, but no one else looked like they knew what to do either. Jasper then knocked Rose off him with one move of his arm. She fell to the ground, but he picked her right back up by her arms. In shock and horror, I stared at them, looking at each other for a second. Rose was scared straight. And Jasper…oh, God.

Jasper locked his arms around her waist and pressed her against him tightly, then sank his teeth into her neck. I screamed. Rosalie didn't scream, and it didn't look like she was in pain. She went limp, Jasper held her up, but started to slowly sink to the ground with her. I had never seen Jasper look anything like that, not in his most furious moment had I ever seen anything close to the look in his eyes then. The raw hunger, the desire, there is his black eyes as the most frightening thing I had ever seen.

And it was the last thing I saw before I fainted.

**PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE DON'T HATE ME/JASPER! The previous promise remains the same, Jasper will try and be a SAINT from now on! And do you know just how hard that is for him to do? 0.o GIVE ME ONE MORE CHAPTER AND A WILL HAVE YOU AGAIN!**

**TEASERS FOR REVIEWERS :)**

**THANK YOU FOR READING! I LOVE YOU GUYS! REALLY! **


	16. Chapter 16

**Thanks for stayin' with me people. Jasper and I greatly appreciate that. I misjudged you guys; only about 3 of you liked Jasper less after that, the rest of you love Jasper more and more for his badass dark attitude. I stand with the majority of you ;)  
Anyway, ENJOY! **

I woke up screaming. It was like there was no line between when I fainted and when I woke up, like I had just witnessed that horrible event before my eyes and was still screaming a second after. My eyes snapped open at once and a shot straight up in my bed.

Charlotte was sitting on my bed with me, a cool washcloth in her hand that she held to my forehead. Carlisle was standing next me on the other side of the bed, silently comforting with his touch when I woke.

I would have wondered what happened when I was out, how I got in my bed, but I didn't care. I didn't care about anything. I didn't care that Charlotte and Carlisle were here with me, and I wouldn't care if they left. Actually, the idea of just being left completely alone now was appealing.

"Bella, it's alright," Charlotte said softly, almost in a whisper.

I just shook my head. It wasn't alright. I wasn't alright. Nothing would ever be right here. Nothing would ever be right with me, not anymore.

"Are you hungry?" she asked. "Tired still? Anything you need? Please talk, Bella."

I was tired still, but I didn't want to go back to sleep. I was very hungry, but I didn't want to move. And I didn't want to talk. It was tedious, pointless. I've got no say in anything that happens around here, no say in my own life, why should I bother speaking? Isn't that what everyone wants anyway? For me to keep my mouth shut?

Charlotte sighed. "Bella, Jasper would like you to come back outside, he wants to show you something."

I flinched just at his name. _Yes, The Devil does have a name. Jasper. _

My lips barely moved when I answered so quietly that I almost couldn't hear myself. "I don't want to see anything he has to show me."

"You really need to see this, hon. Trust me. I don't know how you'll feel about it, but you should see it. Maybe it will help you understand this also."

"I don't want to."

"Please, Bella," she begged. "Please…just…please."

For the first time I looked her in the eyes, and I felt my will crumble at once. I agreed without my own consent, sighed, and begrudgingly told Charlotte fine. I slid off the bed. I was feeling weak. I took a deep breath and started walking with Charlotte, determined to not need her help walking. I wasn't feeling good at all, complete dread washed over me at the thought of seeing Jasper again.

It took me a while to get outside. I couldn't make my feet move anymore than a shuffle, but Carlisle and Charlotte were patient with me. I didn't want to think about anything. My mind was so detached at that moment. That was good though. It was the only way I had to protect myself now.

As soon as I got outside, I looked out and saw Peter training with the newborns. Closer, I saw Jasper, standing over someone. I realized quickly that that was Rose's body, laid out on the ground. I felt like I was going to faint and/or throw up. _That's what Jasper needed me to see? He wanted me to come outside and see Rose's dead body?_

A cry escaped my lips before I could stop it. I held on to the railing and looked at Rose.

That's when I saw that her body has moving. Convulsing, actually. But she was alive! She was actually alive! Jasper didn't kill her!

I bolted down the stairs like a rocket and flew across the grass, dropping to my knees as soon as I got over to Rose. That's when I realized something was very wrong. She had no bruises or cuts on her anymore, but her skin was bone white—even whiter than before. Her face was contorted with pure agony. Then she screamed, a high-pitched, horrible scream of pain that made me want to cover my ears and scream myself.

"What's wrong with her?" I shouted.

"She's changing," Jasper said flatly.

It took me a while to understand that. Although I got it, I still really didn't understand it.

"Last night…I had meant to drain her completely. I meant to…to kill her. But it would have seemed that I did not drain her completely, and she was still holding onto her life. There was, at that point, nothing I could do for her. My venom had already been administered into her body, she was already changing. The venom was the only thing keeping her alive. I could either let the change happen or I could kill her."

I recoiled, horrified and shocked. "You chose to let her be a vampire instead of letting her die?" I wasn't sure what to think about that. He chose to save a life instead of wasting one, even if that was his original intent. But then there was another thing I wouldn't be able to understand; is vampire life really better than death?

Rose screamed again. I was beginning to panic. Jasper had virtually told me everything about vampires, but without any mention that the transformation was extremely painful. How long had this been going on for Rose? All night? How much longer could this last?

Jasper suddenly knelt down and put his hands to the sides of Rose's face. Slowly, she stopped thrusting around, and then she went limp.

"What the hell are you doing?" I demanded.

"I'm helping her," he said through his teeth, black eyes boring into mine. "I'm taking the pain away."

I exhaled sharply and sat back, dazed. "How long is this going to last?"

"It's different for each person. Sometimes it's sooner, sometimes later. The longest I've seen it last was three days."

"Three days?" I gasped.

"The venom is slow working but very strong." He closed his eyes, and took in a shaky breath.

"What's wrong with _you_?" I asked snippily.

"The pain of the transformation is very excruciating," he said. "I can't just calm her to make the pain go away. I…I have to absorb it."

_Whoa. _

I looked at Rose, then took her hand in mine. It was cold as ice, and lifeless. But I knew she was okay. She was going to be okay. She was going to live.

"I will have to go through this too, won't I?" I mused.

Jasper gasped, his eyes snapping open, his hands removing from Rose's face like he had been electrocuted. He lost his concentration. Rose, as soon as Jasper's hands were gone, screamed again in pain and writhed, and she crushed my hand that was holding hers with a tight grip. Jasper put his hand on her again immediately and she was calm again, her hand falling limp around mine.

I rubbed my sore hand to sooth the pain. "Damn, she's getting strong."

"That is _not _why I brought you out here, Isabella," Jasper said harshly. "I brought you out here just to let you know that your friend will live, not to observe your future fate."

"Fate?" I repeated. "So you admit that this is what's going to happen to me?"

"You've known all along what's in store for you," he hissed through clenched teeth.

"But why is it taking so fucking long?" I snapped back.

"If you're in such a hurry, I can mean my offer from last night."

"Whitlock, if I didn't know you were such a coward, I might believe you."

"_What _do you mean by that, exactly?" he said, his tone scarier than I've ever heard it. Dark, threatening, and calm.

"I mean you're all threats and no action."

He smiled, then laughed quietly. "Alright. Then pack a bag if you need one, because as soon as your friend wakes, we'll take a little vacation to Volterra. How does that sound?"

"Perfectly pleasant," I spit.

"Stop," he muttered. "She's waking up."

I looked down at Rose at once, and her eyes snapped open. The color of her eyes was like an electric shock through my body. Those beautiful blue eyes…now were a flaming bright red. And…she had transformed. I could still see that she was Rose, but she was the most beautiful girl I had ever seen. No doubt. She was completely gorgeous. The vampire transformation had given her that beauty and attractiveness that it promises to its victims. Her shimmering gold hair was even more perfect in its curls, and even her lips had more shape. She had not one flaw.

Jasper had a hand on her chest, holding her down. With his other hand he tried to push me away from Rose. I saw Carlisle and Charlotte coming closer to us. I thought I was giving Rose space when I moved away, but then I realized that Jasper wanted me away because Rose was a newborn now.

Jasper moved in front of me, then slowly eased his hand off of Rose, testing her. Rose gasped and put her hands to her throat. Her eyes went all around, staring up at the sky for a long time before she looked around and at us. Then she sat up in a motion I didn't even seen.

She locked eyes with me, then stared at Jasper. Then, very deliberate, she raised her hand and smacked Jasper right across the face. I was so shocked I couldn't even find it funny.

"I remember what you did to me, you mother fucking cocksucker!" she hissed viciously.

My mouth fell open so wide a bird could have flew into it. Jasper's expression was blank, but I'll bet he was just as shocked. Rose, her eyes on fire with fury, tried to slap him again. This time, Jasper's had his hand clamped around her wrist before her hand touched his face.

"Please, I'm going to ask you to refrain from doing that," he said calmly.

"You're a bastard!" she said, ripping her arm away from him. "You killed me! What the hell did you do to me!"

She looked at me. "You! Bella, you said you would help me! You said these were good people! You're a liar! You didn't help me! You brought me to him to kill me!"

I shook my head frantically. "Oh my God, Rose, no! I would _never _do that! I meant what I said! I _was _trying to help you! I didn't mean Jasper was good, I meant the others were. I really wanted to help you. Please, believe me!"

She sobbed into her hands, but there were no tears. "What did you do to me?"

Jasper sighed and hung his head, then took one of Rose's hands from her face, closing it between his. Slowly, Rose calmed down until she was so calm that she looked like she almost wanted to fall asleep.

"Charlotte, would you please take Bella inside?" Jasper said quietly.

"What?" I said in outrage. "I am not leaving! I'm not going anywhere. I want to be with Rose. You have no right—_no right!_—to be telling me to go inside!"

Charlotte touched my shoulders softly and eased me to my feet.

"I fucking hate you, Jasper Whitlock," I said evenly. "You're too evil for anyone to like you. You deserve no kindness or love, or _respect_. I once felt something for you, I felt pity for you. You proved my wrong. There's nothing in you to pity. There is _no _goodness in you. Your humanity is gone forever. You deserve all the pain you feel, if you even feel. _Does _the Devil feel, Jasper?"

It was all too true, and too horrible. Jasper…was not anything human. You have to feel emotion to be human. Jasper feels nothing, he's proved that too many times. Jasper had completely lost his humanity. The blue-eyed child did not exist.

I'm beginning to believe that sweet child never existed. It's just a ghost story.

Well, Jasper didn't respond to me. He didn't look at me. He didn't move. I stormed away, towards the prison that was this beautiful house, Charlotte following suit.

"You didn't really mean that," Charlotte said softly as we entered the house, closing the door gently behind her. I glared at that door, thinking that I would have slammed it shut so hard it might have broke.

"I fucking meant it," I assured. "I meant every word of it, Char. It's all true about him."

"You really wish him pain?" she asked doubtfully, hurt.

I didn't understand why she was reacting to it like this, what did she care? She didn't like Jasper either, why is she opposed to the bastard getting what he deserves? I asked her so.

"Charlotte, a person like that asks for such hate," I explained. "You know how cruel Jasper is, and don't even try to deny it. Jasper's evil in every sense of the word, pure evil, and a person like that deserves at least his own pain. But I'm not even sure he feels anything, because he hasn't done a single thing to show that he has any feelings."

"He didn't kill your gifted friend," Charlotte offered. "He lets you live here the way you do, privileged, despite what you think. He tolerates you more than he tolerates anyone else. He cares enough about you to—"

"Cares about me!" I scoffed. "Are you kidding me? He doesn't care! He especially doesn't care about me! I'm human—to him I'm nothing but a blood bag! Can't you see that? I'm done thinking that he might change, Charlotte. I'm done with him. He's just a monster, he's a—!"

"Vampire," Charlotte whispered.

I stopped. "Charlotte, you are not a monster," I told her. "Being a vampire doesn't mean you're a monster. Normal people can be monsters too. You choose how to act, and he knows exactly what he's doing when he acts. You are not a monster remotely, and neither is Peter, and neither is Carlisle."

"He's your classic tragic vampire, Bella," she said. "The tortured soul. It was his upbringing, that's how it always is with us. We live forever, we have so much time that all we do is sit around and think on the past. We can't help it, we don't get over our past. He needs help."

"With what?" I demanded, more harshly than I intended to.

"Changing. If you want him to change, you need to help him."

"I don't care what he does anymore. I told you. I don't give a damn about him anymore."

"Please don't say that."

"Charlotte!" I cried in frustration. "Why are you doing this to me? Why are you trying to make me care about him? I can't take this, Char, I just can't take this!"

I ignored her calling me as I took off running up the stairs, tears forming in my eyes. I bolted down the hall and into my room, shutting the door and clicking the lock into place. Then I slid to the floor, back against the door, and cried.

As I thought about everything that happened to me, I couldn't help but feel that all of this was my fault. I should have known, from the very beginning, that something was wrong with Jasper. Yet, I couldn't stay away from him. Even he himself had warned me, but I was too ignorant.

Ugh, this was like a bad movie.

I had all the warnings practically hurled into my face, but none of them registered. Even as I realized he wasn't human I didn't stay away from him. What the hell? Any normal person would have. And now I've ruined my own life along with several others.

Let's count….

Alice. My innocent best friend. Scarred for life because of a vampire attack. My supernaturally gifted best friend now stuck in a mental hospital because they think she's insane.

Edward. My best guy friend. Currently going insane at losing his best friend and his girlfriend, the love of his life.

Carlisle. If I wasn't here, he could still be at Forks hospital, doing what he loved to do. Instead, he was here because of me, being abused by Jasper.

Rose. I had meant to help her, instead I killed her.

My parents. They're probably so distressed, especially my dad. I could imagine him going crazy searching for me. In fact, I can't see it in him to ever give up searching for me. What would he think of Alice's "stolen by a vampire" claim?

I never meant to hurt so many people. All I was doing was causing people problems. Was there any way to fix this?

No. I'm completely doomed.

I sat there crying and wishing I was never born, wishing I wasn't so stupid, wishing someone would just kill me. I never wanted death so much in my life, just to escape torture. I was such a terrible person, I should have been dead just for that. But now I find I'm not going to be able to endure this, living in this vampire world.

I think I had finally hit my breaking point.

What was there left to do? It was so terrible, this feeling of hopelessness. The feeling of unknowing, even worse. There was nothing I could do. I was completely at the mercy of this. What was left for me? The only thing I could do was…nothing.

But what would happen if I was changed into a vampire?

As my crying began to stop, that suddenly sounded like a good idea.

Becoming a vampire is the only hope I have left. Actually, I don't even need to hope, Jasper told me himself I would be changed. That's why I'm here. That's the whole reason for all of this. Jasper explained everything to me. I become a vampire, I go to meet the Volturi, I live or die. That was it.

If I become a vampire, I live or die.

Those words were sweet to me. Live or die. That's been the entire concept here all along. Live or die. That's everyone's fate. Live or die.

I know who I am. I know I'm not going to have any powers if I change into a vampire. I don't want to hope for a power anymore. I need to hope not for one. If the Volturi realized that I have no special abilities, I'll surely be killed. Exactly what I want!

I see nothing in my future but death. That might seem sad to others, but right now, that seems spectacular. I _wanted _to die. Most likely, I'll die anyway, so why not go satisfied with it. Who'd want to be bitter in their afterlife? I'd rather go content with my death than fighting it all the way.

Now, I only have to be changed. Would that be a simple task or not? Who would do it and how soon?

But I was suddenly brought back to Rosalie's transformation, and the thought of the horrible pain made my plan less appealing. But maybe Jasper would help me with the pain. Or if not, I'm sure I could handle it. Just a little pain for a greater cause….

_But wait_! I thought abruptly.

I reminisced back to my list of people's ruined lives. I couldn't possibly leave them in that state. I needed to fix everything before I could move on.

I needed to go back to Forks. I needed to get Alice out of that mental hospital. I needed to get Alice back to Edward. They needed each other. After I would be changed, Carlisle should be allowed his life back. Rosalie…I need to make sure she would be okay. And my parents…oh, God. How was I going to deal with them? Could I leave them I note of my whereabouts? Write to them that I'm okay but they would never be seeing me again? Silent tears rolled down my cheeks at the thought.

I was back into my state of despair. I would not shed another tear however. I had to be stronger than this. I had to do something.

My depression was followed by fierce determination. I got and stalked into the bathroom to wash my face with cold water, clearing my mind and cleansing my face of tears. I changed into a pair of clean dark jeans and a simple white shirt, pulling on a pair of boots. I hurried down to the living room, where I found I found Charlotte, standing in a zombie-like state against the door. She didn't even seem conscious of anything around her until I touched her, and she focused on me, still expressionless.

"Charlotte…I want you to change me," I said.

She blinked, then she stepped away from me quickly. "What?" she gasped. "Bella, are you out of your mind? What are you saying? You _want_ to be a vampire?"

I nodded eagerly. "Yes, Char. Please. Change me. I want to be a vampire."

She narrowed her eyes at me. "Why? What are you thinking, Bella?"

"I'm thinking it's going to happen sooner or later, Jasper promised. I would just rather sooner than later."

"You don't know what you're saying," she said, shaking her head. "I can fight for you, Bella. You have a chance still. Nothing is set in stone. You don't _have _to be a vampire."

Knowing Jasper, there was no change of such negotiation. I didn't take this argue seriously at all. I was going to be a vampire one way or another.

But Charlotte refused to listen to me. We ventured all throughout the house as she tried to get away from me, protesting the entire time as I fought with her.

"Bella, please, stop, I can't listen to this," she said.

"Charlotte, just change me! One bite, that's all you have to do. Just one little bite."

"Not one bite," she murmured. "It's much more than that. I've never changed anyone in my life. I could kill you, Bella!"

"That's ridiculous. Just bite me! Nothing can go wrong."

"Many things can go wrong."

"Char, please! Just…help me. I'm begging you."

"Bella!" she barked, turning to me. "I said no!"

We were in the kitchen, staring each other down. Her vampire glare was winning, but I wasn't giving up.

"Why won't you do it?" I demanded. "If you can't, I'll go to Peter, or Carlisle. One of them will do it."

"No, none of them will. If that were to happen, Jasper will be the only one to do it."

That shock was like she had just slapped me. The thought of Jasper changing me was shudder-inducing. I couldn't let Jasper's lips anywhere near my neck or I would faint on the spot, especially after what I witnessed last night.

"Char, Jasper cannot change me. I don't even want him knowing about this."

"He probably already knows."

I stared at her. "What the hell do you mean?"

She didn't reply.

"Charlotte, please, just do it. Do you want me to get on my knees and beg? Do you want me to jump through a flaming hoop? Anything, I'll do it. Just please, help me. All I need is this one thing."

"You don't _need _this, Bella," she said sternly.

I groaned with frustration, leaning against the counter. My hand fell on the handle of a kitchen knife, and I knew what I was going to do with it at first glance.

I picked it up and quickly cut the palm of my hand in one motion that took a second. I made a little cry at the stinging pain as blood flowed. Charlotte gasped, bringing her hands up to her mouth as she stared at me in utter horror.

"Bella," she breathed. "What did you do?"

I held my out to her. "Come on, Charlotte. One…bite…." I watched her carefully, waiting for her to break, waiting for her control to snap. I would slit my throat of this wasn't enough to get her to go crazy and bite me.

I could see her control slowly dissipating as she squeezed her eyes and starting backing away from me. Then she was gone in a white blur, and all I felt was a breeze pass by me. I quickly turned around, and met the gaze of Jasper's black eyes.

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	17. Chapter 17

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I couldn't make myself move.

Jasper's expression was unreadable as he looked down at me. It was at that moment I realized that I had just done something very stupid. I heard the slow _drip drip drip _of my blood hitting the floor, and then the rusty smell of it hit me, making me feel a little dizzy. I was frozen in my spot with my terror, fearing that Jasper was going to lose his control.

Charlotte I trust easily, no matter what she says. Charlotte is my friend, she would never hurt me even if she lost her control. Jasper had zero control, and for him to go bloodthirsty on me, I would be dead in a matter of seconds.

Jasper's eyes slowly fell from mine down to my bleeding hand, and then his cold fingers gently wrapped around it. I gasped in surprise, but still didn't move a muscle. I could feel my heart suddenly racing, and I braced myself for the pain that was going to come. I knew he was going to lose it, he was going to kill me because I'm an idiot.

Yeah, I wanted to die just a few seconds ago, but I didn't want to go this way. Not at the hands of my enemy. And I'm not ready! I didn't fix anything, I only just made it worse in this moment for slicing the palm of my hand open like a moron.

Jasper fixed his coal eyes back on mine again, and, never for a moment breaking the gaze, brought my hand up to his mouth and deeply inhaled. A faint smile played on his lips and his cold lips touched my skin, parting over the wound there. I could feel him sucking the blood from my hand in slow pulls, his eyes fluttering close in a dreamy way.

The feel was the most sensual thing I've ever experienced. It made me feel slowly weaker, but wetter between my legs with every passing second. He was making a low purring sound deep in his chest, which I suddenly wanted to press myself against. I felt like I needed to be close to him, I wanted to touch him, and I wanted him to touch me.

It occurred to me that he was projecting his emotions, but I couldn't do anything about it.

I moaned before I could stop myself, but totally embarrassed after that, I bit my bottom lip so no other noises would escape. I fought to keep those moans in as I watched him suck the blood from my hand.

This intense moment only lasted about fifteen seconds, I would guess, but it was the best fifteen seconds of my life. I was disappointed when he stopped sucking, lightly licking my hand with his cool pale tongue to get the last of the blood there. When he released my hand, I looked down at it and watched it slowly heal right before my eyes. I gasped at looked up at him in horror.

"How did you do that?" I demanded in breathless whisper.

He didn't reply, he just slowly licked his bottom lip and quickly disappeared.

**Jasper POV**

Why the fuck did I do that?

Even I could not comprehend. What _did _I just do? I had just drank Isabella's blood from a wound in her hand. I had just _tasted _her.

I had wanted to do that since the first day I spoke to her. All of this time…her blood had been the sweetest scent I had ever smelt all my life…tempting, alluring…a scent that would make a lesser vampire go insane with thirst…blood that makes even Carlisle's—yes, _Carlisle's_!—throat itch with thirst. I should congratulate myself for not losing control beforehand or during that!

It's not like Isabella found it unpleasant either. No! Oh, what a loathsome creature am I! What a perfect demon I am! I am the Devil! I am a monster! Is that not right, Isabella? Despite all those things, despite herself and former feeling and everything I've done to upset her, despite all those rotten names and insults she's thrown at me—why did you enjoy it so much, Isabella?

I had felt the deep longing as I sucked on her hand. She had practically swooned. She enjoyed it so much she didn't want it to stop. She moaned as I purred. I could smell her arousal. That alone was hard enough for me to endure. When she's giving me such responses with such things, how is it possibly easy to stop from going in further?

She can never again tell me that she feels nothing but hatred towards me. First, there is a basic science. This is the twenty-first century, she's a teenage girl, I'm a vampire—that equation instantly equals perfect romance fantasy for a girl. Deeper into that, if I wasn't as evil as she claimed, I could have her in an instant. Even if I'm so evil, she seems not to care when blood-drinking pleasure is involved. I didn't hear her complain for an instant.

_If I wasn't so evil…._

Yeah right, _no comprende_, no thanks, give it a rest already, puh-lease.

I think I like being evil.

I stalked outside to the training field. I threw Peter a quick glance and a nod which he gravely returned. Charlotte had nearly lost her control with Bella, and she had already ran off. She was running through the woods, I could still hear her. She would be back when she calmed herself, and when I got my head straight I would allow Peter to go after her while I take over the newborns.

"Carlisle," I called as I approached him. "I need to ask a fa—"

My words died on my tongue, because when I called him, he froze and looked over at me at once. His slightly parted lips took in a little gasp and he stepped back, shocked and horrified. I froze too, wondering what the hell was wrong. Then I matched his reaction with one of the few incidents I could imagine would shock him like this, and I hastily wiped the back of my hand across my lips. When I looked at my hand, there was a streak of blood. I licked my lips, feeling the little zing of sensation on my tongue from Isabella's leftover blood.

"Jasper, what did you do?" he whispered in horror.

Irritated, I murmured, "It's not what you think, Carlisle. I need to ask a favor of you. Isabella cut her hand, and there's some blood in the kitchen. Would you clean it up, please? I wouldn't ask another to be around her blood. And don't worry about her, my venom has already healed her wound."

He nodded. "Oh—of course., I understand."

"And, Carlisle," I said sternly as he began passing me, "not a word to her."

I sighed after he was gone. I brought my hand to my mouth and licked off the streak of blood there. When I turned, the newborns and even Peter was staring at me. I scowled.

"What the hell are you all staring at?" I demanded. "Do I look like a sideshow attraction to you?"

They averted their gazes at once. I again sighed and told Peter he could go. He thanked me and went off to Charlotte. I guided the newborns in their training, observing closely to point of their weaknesses. They were a pitiful lot. Despite how Isabella's blood was starting to make me feel—lazy and tranquil and tired—I faced each of them in a one-on-one fight so they could see how it was done.

_Let them be suffice to Aro, _I thought. I can't keep doing this.

The sky was being painted by sunset colors when Peter returned with Charlotte. Peter took over the newborns and Charlotte went in the house, not before glaring at me though. She still hasn't forgiven me for the mention of her newborn attack. Carlisle returned to me earlier, but he kept his distance, roaming around the field. I sat down on the grass, watching Peter with the newborns, and Carlisle abruptly sat next to me. I tried to ignore him, but it was harder than I thought.

"You have a life, Carlisle," I said, not knowing what force in hell made me start talking to him. "You're the only vampire I know who's got a purpose in life, or that's what I believe about you. You actually want to be a part of everyone else's life, unlike the rest of us who like to keep to ourselves, pretend we're the only ones in the world." I shook my head. "Why the hell are you here?"

"You have to keep in touch with your humanity," he said, looking up at the sky, "or you have nothing otherwise. You need to remember that you're not the only one in the world, which is only hard cause we're loaners naturally. I'm here because, as you said, I like to be involved. Isabella has become important to me."

"How so?" I asked, harsher than I meant to.

"Like a daughter. I don't have one, nor have I ever, but I've always wanted a child. I liked to think of you as a son, you know? That's why I still care for you so much. Why is that so unbelievable for you?"

I didn't answer, only mildly glared at him. The kindness in him eyes didn't falter. I growled and laid back onto the grass. "Dammit, Carlisle, you're so infuriating! You have a life," I repeated. "You seem like you should have a complete life…. Carlisle, you say you have nothing if not your humanity. Don't you have a mate? Carlisle, don't you have a love?"

When I glanced at him, he was looking away from me. I had thought that I hurt him for a moment, but his emotions didn't give that away.

"There is a women…," he said. "Her name is Esme Platt. She's beautiful and kind. But there's something wrong with her."

I raised an eyebrow.

"She has a child. And she has a husband. However, she is found frequently in the hospital. That's where I first met her, and usually where our meetings occur. She claims clumsiness."

I understood before he said it.

"I think she's being abused by her husband."

I shook my head. "Fucking bastard. You're probably right, Carlisle."

"Nothing angers me more," he said quietly, and for the first time I heard his voice seething, dripping with venom. "There are moments I actually want to kill the man."

"And it would be well deserved," I sided.

"No!" he said firmly. "I'm not God, Jasper. I'm no bringer of justice, and I don't pretend to be. I cannot twist the fate of a man like that. But if I do have solid proof of her abuse, I could help the girl, I could help Esme."

I sighed. "Fuck, Carlisle. Sometimes you're a moron. If you intend on doing that, you need to be back in Forks, and not here. I've been here for a while, Carlisle, I know damn well there's no staring a life here."

He arched an eyebrow. "Are you giving me permission to leave her for her?"

"Who'd you say was the father figure here? Get the hell out of my sight, Carlisle. You don't need my permission for this thing."

He laughed lightly, then sighed. "I appreciate it. Unfortunately, I can't just get up and leave. I can't leave Bella now, regardless that I'm forbidden to speak with her. Plainly, I don't trust you, Jasper."

I shrugged, then chuckled despite myself. "I haven't given reason for trust. I understand. But who means more to you, Isabella or Esme?"

He looked taken aback. "How can you ask me to compare love? Who do you love more, Peter of Charlotte?"

I frowned. "Another point, Carlisle. I see. So you will not go."

He gave me a look that confirmed it, although to look in his eyes was tortured and torn. I felt like I was seeing what I had done to him for all these past years. _Sweet, blue-eyed child, _he says. _Father figure. _He tries to turn back time.

I looked away, not being able to look at him anymore.

"Jasper!" Charlotte suddenly called form the back door of the house. "Problem!"

I was in the house in a second, absorbing the atmosphere for any danger, or "problem". None that I could feel. But there was something weird. There was music blasting, noise. I walked into the living room, where Charlotte had gone. The sight before me was me freeze at the doorway.

Isabella was standing on the couch, barefoot, jumping up and down and screaming. She was wearing a silk dress, dark purple, strapless and very short. I couldn't help but gazing at her long legs, imagining the silken feel of them. Her hair was wild in its pretty curls as she tossed it around, moving her hands in it as she swung her hips in rhythm to the beat of the music.

I turned to Charlotte, but before I could ask, she provided an answer. She held up a glass bottle—Vodka. I stared at it. my mind was in such shock from the scene of Isabella, it took me a while to make the connection.

"Where the hell did that come from?"

She raised an eyebrow. "Okay, that wasn't my first question exactly…. Well, Jasper, it must have been around from your latest state of depression. How the hell should I know where it came from? All I know is that Bella obviously found it."

Isabella screamed again, and I looked over at her sharply. She had her hands raised in the air, swaying her hips and turning around, turning her head from side to side making her hair whip around, dancing to the blasting music.

I observed with a raised eyebrow before I turned back to Charlotte.

"How long—?" I was beginning to ask, but she quickly cut me off.

"I don't know," she said. She was clearly agitated and annoyed. "Honestly, I don't know much more about this situation then you do. When I found her, she was already like this. So I imagine she has no tolerance for this stuff and it affected her immediately. She was just sitting on the couch, talking to herself until I came in. Then she started gushing out things about her life and some weird self-image and you and she wouldn't stop going off track just to apologize to me about cutting herself. She's said she was sorry about a dozen times already. Then…," she gazed over and Isabella, "she just wanted to dance." She looked back at me and gave a shrug.

Isabella tangled herself in her own feet and fell to the floor, uttering an "_oof_" as she landed. Then she started laughing, and singing along to the music. _"I want your everything as long as it's free. I want your love. Love, love, love, I want your love…." _She eventually got back up to dance again.

I shook my head along with Charlotte. She further told me the details of the state she found Isabella in while she loudly sung over us. _"I want your love and all your lovers' revenge, you and me can write a bad romance." _

"You've done it, Jasper," Charlotte said, "now you fix it."

As she left, walking past me, she shoved the tall almost empty bottle of Vodka into my hands.

I sighed and set the bottle down a side table before I started to cautiously make my way over to Isabella. She didn't seem to see me, or it didn't register, she only went around the room with her dancing and singing. Her emotions were fuzzy, the most I could make out was euphoria and a sense of total calmness. These are things I haven't felt from anyone in so long.

I sat myself on the couch and watched her dance around it. She tripped a lot, nearly falling twice, and for moments completely forgetting the words to the music. I wondered where this CD had come from, and drew up that it must be Charlotte's.

"Jasper!" she gasped as she seemed to have finally noticed me. She laughed and threw herself onto the couch next to me, sitting up on her knees as she pushed on my shoulder. "Haha! I didn't see you. When did you get here? Ah!" she cried as she fell forward into my lap. She exploded into wild peals of laughter again and turned over. "Whoa. Dude, you have girl's hair." Again, she laughed madly.

I smiled at her, making my teeth bare. She silenced at once, then laughed, then was quiet. She gazed at me with a questioning look. Very slowly but deliberately, she reached up for my face. Her delicate hands were radiantly warm on my skin, I couldn't help but gasp a little. She lightly ran one of her fingers across my bottom lip, then fingered my teeth. Perhaps she was noticing how inhuman they looked for teeth, how sharp and scary, vampire's teeth.

I gazed back into her eyes hungrily. Part of me—a large part of me—wanted to bite down on her, to pierce her finger, if only a little, just to draw a little bit of her heavenly blood.

Ha! _Heavenly_. What did I know of Heaven? What will I ever know? I'm straight from hell, the Devil's spawn. Isn't that what Isabella called me? I'm the Devil himself. Maybe there was no real Devil, and I could be just as evil and cruel. Well, I'm not convinced there's a real Devil anyway. Since I was turned, I've done nothing but challenge him, and he has not shown up.

What does that say of God?

I wanted Isabella's blood again. I had not had enough of it. I wanted to have my way with her.

Why?

Fuck if I know.

I'm a monster. I'm a villain. I'm the Devil.

_I'm a vampire._

"Dance with me," Isabella said suddenly.

Despite myself, it surprised me. Wasn't this her just seeing that I wasn't human? Wasn't this her just feeling my sharp, vampire teeth? And now she wants to dance? Well, this was her drunk mind.

"Isabella, tell me where you got that bottle of Vodka," I said.

She giggled and struggled to get off me. I grabbed her around the waist with one hand and firmly held her where she was. She roared with laughter and squirmed and kicked her legs.

"No, no, no! I'm ticklish there!" she cried.

"Isabella." I grabbed her face and turned her head back to me. "Where did you get the alcohol? Where did you find that bottle of Vodka?"

She shrugged. "I don't know…. Oh wait! Yes, I do know!"

I waited. She covered her mouth with her hand and giggled some more. I raised an eyebrow. "Are you going to tell me?" I demanded in frustration.

"I found it in the basement," she slurred. "Haha. I didn't know you had a basement. I got it in the same place I got this." She turned halfway to reach on the floor, grabbing for something. She produced another dark bottle of something, half empty already.

"And that is…?"

"Whisky," she answered with a smile. "It tastes better than the Vodka."

I just shook my head and released her from my grip. She yelped as she slid off my lap and onto the floor, but she got right back up. She tried to drink from the bottle but I snatched it before her lips touched it, bringing it to my own and drinking.

"Hey," she complained, struggling to get back to her feet while reaching for it.

"You must realize now this is a lot stronger than a bottle of beer, Isabella," I told her.

"Dance with me!" she commanded again and she turned up the music. "Heads Will Roll" by the Yeah Yeah Yeahs. She nearly stumbled into me and tried to pull me up by my hands, but in the end I was the one holding onto her so she didn't fall backwards. She was completely serious about her request.

_Ah, what the hell, _I thought.

I jumped up and grabbed her around the waist, surprising her. I spun her around and she kept spinning for awhile before losing balance and falling back down onto the couch. She shook her head, looked up at me, laughed, and jumped back up.

I had to admit that I had never honestly danced like that. Back in my time—human time—it was a more formal dance I was used to. Since then, I had been to a couple clubs, but only to pick up a little snack. Even then, I hadn't really partaken in any of that club dancing. Truthfully, it would disgust me how the girls would be clad in barely nothing and moving against other men—and other girls, if they were drunk enough.

I was far from disgusted now. The slow, sexy way Isabella moved was incredible, even as drunk as she was. There was only minimal tripping to worry about, but most of the time she couldn't fall because she was pressed up against me. I loved the feel of the length of her body moving against mine. Her hands were in her hair, her eyes closed, my hands on her curves her hips.

The song changed before either of us noticed, "Teeth" by Lady Gaga. I paused for a second at the irony. Isabella seemed to have noticed it to. She jumped onto me, her knees digging into my hips. She rested her forehead against mine as her hands roamed up and down my chest. "Just got my vamp," she whispered, her sweet breath blowing on my face. She giggled and I let her open my mouth again, let her touch my teeth. "Show me your teeth!" she said.

She slid down off me. While she was working on getting up off the floor, I told her, "You know you'll be hugging the toilet for the rest of the week, right?"

"I don't give a shit!" she cried.

She jumped up onto a table which she started dancing on and clapping to the beat of the music. I stood there and comfortably enjoyed the view. "Show me your fangs!"

I smirked. "Love me with your hands tied."

She screamed and jumped off the table, landing on her feet instead of her face as I thought she would. It must have been a delayed impact reaction though, because when she reached me, her legs gave out. She moved herself up onto her knees and grabbed my hand, tugging on it.

If I were human and my heart still beat, I might have had a heart attack. Previously, I might have given anything to see her like that, to have her on her knees in front of me.

She smirked. "Come down here."

"Much obliged." This girl could've had any man with the way she looked at that moment. Too bad for the other men, 'cause she was _mine_.

She pushed me back onto the floor and moved on top of me, straddling me. She grabbed my shirt by the collar and slowly leaned down to me. My gaze only left her chocolate eyes to look at her lips—how soft and silky they must feel! Those lips were just inches from mine….

Her head slumped against my neck, her hands going limp. She began snoring lightly.

Total blackout.

I couldn't bring myself to move even if I wanted to.

* * *

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	18. Chapter 18

**Jasper POV**

_A lake, one that looked like diamonds floated along the top of it with the current. A black river shining in points like stars, reflecting the moonlight. A familiar mountain range, a familiar little strip of land…._

_This was where Maria changed me._

_And speak of the Devil, there she was, standing behind me with her arms clinging to mine, caressing, and whispering softly in my ear. _

_"Jasper," her musical voice filled my ear sweetly. "I want you to do something."_

_Anything, I thought desperately. Anything you want, you'll have it. I'm your slave._

_"Kill her." _

_And there was Isabella, standing before me. Her small form was so much more vulnerable now. Her dark curls were in such contrast with her white, moonlit skin. Her wide, innocent chocolate eyes begged silently for mercy. _

_I lunged towards her._

I screamed aloud as I sat up in bed. I looked around, seeing I was in Isabella room. She was on the bed next to me, curled up and still sleeping, undisturbed by my cry. When I gazed down, I saw that I was holding a dark glass bottle that smelt like liquor and was empty.

"Oh, motherfu—!" I clapped my hand over my mouth. "Shit!"

I rushed into the bathroom, realizing too late that my preternatural speed was far too thrown off by the dizziness of the alcohol. I slammed straight into the wall, making it shake, stopping myself before I went through it. My fingers dug into the wall as I clung to it, keeping myself on my feet. I stumbled into the bathroom, falling to my knees, grabbing the countertop of the sink. I kicked the door shut behind me. I knew Isabella was waking after all that, but I didn't care as I was violently sick right into the sink.

"God Dammit!" I shouted in fury.

I was sick again, turning on the water to wash it all down the sick. It was almost purely alcohol, with a bit of blood. It was disgusting. But I'd dealt with it before. Of course, it doesn't get easier, not in the slightest. And this was bad.

Groaning, I looked in the mirror. My eyes were so black. The purplish color that looked like bruising under my eyes was awful. My skin looked even whiter. I looked horrible. I felt worse.

**Bella POV**

I felt like I had been run over by a truck, and then the truck came back to run me over a second time. I felt horrible! Just totally horrible. Every part of my body ached. My head was pounding like a bass drum, in the most painful way. My vision was slightly blurry, I was dizzy, I felt like I spinning when I was just sitting up in my bed. My breath smelt heavily of alcohol.

_What have I done? _I wondered in horror.

I didn't even remember! The only thing of yesterday I could remember was finding a fridge full of various alcoholic drinks in the basement, taking a few sips, and then nothing. _Holy shit._

I carefully got out of bed, succeeding on keeping steady on my feet. I had woken up because of several loud banging noises. Now, as I looked around, I noticed a couple of holes and cracks in one spot in the wall. What the hell?

I cupped my hand over my mouth, abruptly feeling the urge to throw up. My stomach was churning. I fought it down. I hastily made my way to the bathroom door, which was shut. I tried opening it, it was locked.

"Go away," I heard from the inside.

I didn't have a chance to wonder why Jasper was in my bathroom with the door shut and locked. I only banged weakly on the door with my fist, having to lean against it to keep myself upright. "Jasper," I moaned. "Let me in. Please. Now. I'm gonna puke."

I heard the lock click open before the door swung open. Jasper caught me in his arms, hauling me over to the toilet bowl just in time for me to throw up in it. "Oh my God," I gasped out. Jasper was holding my hair back for me. That is, he was, until he jumped up and slid himself over to the sink, where he attended to his own problems.

"What the hell happened to _you_?" I asked.

"You're a bad fucking influence, that's what happened," he growled. "You go and get yourself drunk yesterday, and you try to take everyone down with you. An entire bottle of whisky and Vodka you swallowed down, dancing around the entire house and singing, flaunting yourself in your"—he glanced at me—"most inappropriate attire."

I looked down at myself. I was wearing a dark purple dress, strapless and way too low on my cleavage, and dangerously close to exposing my ass. Was I wearing a bra? _Holy fuck…_

I was extremely embarrassed, feeling very exposed, but I still glared at him. Bad influence. Me? Yeah right! I believed I drank all that, because of the way I felt then, but I didn't force him to drink anything or do anything else. And I didn't like the way he was looking at me, it made me very uncomfortable.

"Above The Influence, Jasper," I said. "Your choice. And I thought vampires were supposed to be smart. You really must be full of hot air then."

He scowled at me. "I'd bet my life I feel a hell of a lot better than you do. You might have been into a few sips of beer just 'cause you think it's cool, but you've never been into this heavy stuff, have you?" He grabbed a dark glass bottle from the counter and shook it, some liquid sloshing around inside it. He dropped it on the floor and it cracked into a few pieces.

"Hey, what the hell?" I did my best to stand up, settling for sitting on the toilet. "Hangover's a bitch for you, isn't it? Like anyone around here needs more of that. What the hell are you doing in my room anyway? Get out!"

He raised his eyebrows, his expression smoothing out in a dangerous way. "Don't you remember? You invited me in last night. To sleep with you." He smirked a little.

"Fuck you," I said slowly, very clearly.

He raised an eyebrow, his icy black eyes boring into mine. "Yesterday, you very nearly did."

My mouth popped open in shock. He turned and stalked from the room, shutting the door behind him with a force that made me flinch. I stared at the door, hoping for some reason that he would come back in, tell me that was a cruel joke.

It only made it more scary that I didn't remember what happened last night. How drunk was I, really? A bottle of whisky…and Vodka…. Singing and dancing…drunk enough to put on this dress which I would never do in my right mind. And Jasper was with me the entire night? Jasper was in my bathroom. He was in my room when I was asleep. He was in my bed with me! What did I do with him?

The possibilities…. I felt sick again, very sick, but for a different reason. I vomited in the toilet again.

But then, a very small part of me in the back of my head wondered, why is that such a revolting idea? That was insane to once think about, but I did once want to do everything possible with him. Before I knew what he really was. I was once willing.

Oh, the virgin me was always too willing to have sex.

I liked him before I knew what he was. Now I know. He's evil. He's a vampire! He hates me. How could I possibly have sex with a person like that?

Alcohol was clearly still working on my brain.

"Charlotte!" I cried. I needed her. I needed her help, her words, some wisdom. "Charlotte!"

She was in front of me in a second, looking a little panicked at first before staring down at me with a new look of pity. "Oh, Bella," she sighed. She started rummaging through the cabinets and produced three different pills and filled up a cup of water for me. "For your head and your stomach," she told me.

I took the pills gratefully and swallowed them with the water. "Charlotte, I'm really freaking out," I said. "I don't remember anything from yesterday. Not a goddamn thing." I turned the water on and started putting as much toothpaste onto my toothbrush as I could fit. "Can you tell me something that might clue me in? Or something that can assure me…nothing happened…between me and….?" I shuddered and stuck the toothbrush in my mouth, brushing furiously.

Charlotte sat down on the toilet cover, watching me but thinking also. "Well, I honestly can't give you every detail if that's what you expect. Believe me, I wasn't staying the entire time to watch you fall apart. The state I found you in was sure a shock to everyone."

"Singing and dancing?" I guessed.

"Yep."

I was mortified.

"You were drinking, and I'm not exactly sure how much. A lot. Enough. When I found you, you seemed well enough. You were on the couch in the living room, watching TV. Then you starting talking to yourself. Nonsense, that's all it was. Like hallucinations."

I raised an eyebrow. "Alcohol doesn't give you hallucinations."

"You were in a pretty messed up state, Bella. When you noticed me, all you wanted to do was party. You were taking a party with five-hundred of the coolest people, zoo animals, and a Ferris wheel. A _big _one. The TV went off, the music came on, and it was singing and dancing on the furniture all night long."

I couldn't help but snort, picturing myself doing that. It was a little comical.

"Not funny, Bella!" Charlotte snapped, shocking me.

Quickly I finished brushing my teeth, then turned to her. "Charlotte, are you alright? Are you angry?"

"Yes, I am!" she said, and never have I seen fury like that from her. Not towards me anyway.

"Something _I _did?" I asked. "What did I do? Whatever it is, I'm really sorry, Charlotte."

"No, Bella," she said darkly, standing up slowly. "No, you're not. You never are, that's just it. I thought you selfless before, but really you're just reckless. Even if your intentions are good, you never think enough to see how bad it will all turn out. You're like Jasper in that way."

I flinched.

"You act first and think later. When Jasper told you to stay away from him, you were relentless. You ran away from here without a thought. You brought that girl Rosalie to a house full of vampires, one particularly extremely pissed off." She stared at me, but soon her expression softened. "You try to be kind and make friends with everyone…but you despise the one person who really needs a friend. And you're not sorry for that."

I raised my eyebrows. "You mean Jasper, don't you?"

"He's not easily-likable, I get that. He turns everyone off. He rejects any kindness. But do you wanna know the truth about something? Everyone here can see that he's been a lot more kind since you've been here, believe it or not."

"Not," I interrupted. "I can't believe you, Charlotte. I can't believe you keep pushing this with us! What don't you understand? He's evil to his core! I hate him! If friendship or love is what he wants so badly, he should make an effort to show a little! Then he can get all the love he wants. He can die form an overload of warm, fuzzy feeling for all I care! He won't get anything like that from me."

Charlotte's eyes saddened. "But you're the one he needs it from."

I felt my body go numb in a second. "What?" She didn't reply. "What the hell do you mean?"

Still no reply. This snapped me back into my anger.

"Well, I don't care!" I exploded. "Just leave me alone, will you? Stop trying to…to get us together! Whatever you're trying to do—just _stop_. I can't handle this. Do you realize my life has been nothing but hell since I met him? I just want my old life back, and do you realize how I feel knowing that that can never happen?"

"I'm sorry about that, but it's partly your fault."

"It's not my fault that he exists!"

"Whatever, Bella," Charlotte said, venom in her tone. "But this is what I meant. You don't realize how much you hurt people with stuff like that…even if it is him. But if you want to be alone, then fine. I understand. Consider it done. I'll just go about my own life as you do yours and we don't have to speak to each other anymore."

We glared at each other for a minute.

"I'll be right back. I'll bring you up something to eat and hopefully you won't have to see me for the rest of the day."

She left as she said, and brought a meal up to my room. It was a turkey sandwich with an apple and some soup. She left it on a little table. She left again as quickly as she came. And she was right about not having to see her for the rest of the day, because I spent the rest of the day in my room, crying.

**Jasper POV**

Fresh air was, for once, refreshing. I had Charlotte, Peter, and Carlisle working with the newborns, so my hands were free. For a while I observed, but I did not intervene. I sat on the grass away from their battle area.

The newborns were becoming slightly better, I had to admit (Not out loud of course). They were evening becoming more obedient. Well, good for them, because I was losing my patience. Soon—but not soon enough, unfortunately—I would be able to send them to Aro, get rid of them. And by God, that was going to be the last batch of vampire newborns I would ever send him. I was done with him, and soon I would be in Volterra to tell him so. They required only a little bit more of training, I estimated a week.

I sighed. A week. A week and I'll be dragging Isabella to Volterra with me. _Isabella_. What ever was I going to do with her? She was a handful, certainly. It was going to be a painful task to bring her to Volterra and to Aro.

However, now, I wasn't so sure that I wanted to bring her to Aro. The entire reason for having her at my house was to bring her to Aro to see if she was talented, for her to become a vampire later or to be disposed of if she was useless. Now, it occurred to me, I was to put her fate in the hands of that idiot Aro. I thought not. How could I even consider such a thing?

Oh, she had changed me for sure. Slightly, at least. I actually cared now. I cared what happened to her.

I didn't want her to be killed. Think of the waste! That ivory skin waxy and lifeless, the brown curls without their shine, and those chocolate eyes that would never open again. That laugh and that wit that would be lost forever. I couldn't allow that to happen! If I had to spend the rest of my eternity in the lowest and hottest level of the Devil's true Hell, I could not let that happen.

But if she became a vampire…. Now, that was an idea. I didn't care whether she had a vampire talented or not. If she was a vampire, there would be no death option for her. Aro didn't even have to know about her. If she was a vampire—that is, if I turned her—she would belong to no other but me.

At this point, I knew but one thing.

I wanted Isabella.

I didn't know why…just that I did.

And just that I would have her.

I couldn't help but chuckle quietly at my own dark thoughts. This attracted the attention of all the newborn vampires and the rest. I gave them a cold look.

"Did I say to stop?" I snapped. "Mind your own fucking business and get the hell back to work."

They did so nervously. I sighed softly and shook my head, continuing to peel apart blades of grass as I was absently doing. I noticed Charlotte stealing glances at me. she seemed more distracted than usually. My eyes searched to capture hers and I smirked when I caught her attention, beckoning her over.

Charlotte hesitantly walked over to me, abandoning her sparring partner. I indicated for her to sit next to me, which she did. She didn't look at me. I wrapped an arm around her shoulder and pulled her closer, kissing her cheek.

"Wanna tell me what happened?" I asked.

She sighed deeply, her gaze still on the ground. "I'm just upset, that's all."

I blinked. "I know _that_." I laughed a little. "I was asking _why_."

She shook her head. "I don't know how to deal with humans. Major, I now know that I've never given you enough credit. I don't understand Bella. I don't understand human emotions anymore, I don't know what she's feeling. I want to be her friend and help her, but the whole situation frustrates me."

"Honestly, Charlotte," I said, rolling my eyes. "Honey, you don't give _yourself _enough credit. Isabella is the first human you've interacted with for decades. You're doing fine with her. Isabella is a naturally frustrating person."

"Carlisle doesn't think so." She sounded bitter now. "And you know why? Because besides having to drink blood to survive, Carlisle is a total human. He feels like a human. It's not fair the rest of us aren't like that."

"Life's not fair." I shrugged. "It is what it is. You'll learn. Carlisle spends every day of his life around humans, and like I said, you don't. We don't. We're different. Isabella is just sensitive. And, if I may say, you are feeling a very human emotion right now."

"I am?" She finally looked at me, her eyes somewhat pleading, her expression puzzled.

I nodded. "Regret. You're sorry for upsetting Isabella. And as sure as I know my own name, she's equally upset, if not more. She's sensitive, remember. You're sad because you're also hurt. It's just a little squabble. You should talk to her. You'll make up and forgive each other."

"I said nasty things, Major."

"And Isabella is a forgiving person," I said surely. "Talk with her. Maybe tomorrow, after you've both had time to think on it."

She nodded slowly. "Alright…. I will." She nodded again, more confident. "I just hope you're right."

I winked. "Always right."

She slipped herself out of my embrace and stood up. I called for her to wait and stood up too, giving her a serious but not harsh look.

"Also, Charlotte, don't worry about me. Isabella is right, I am ruining her life. For now, don't bring up my name around her. I can take care of things myself, if you don't mind."

She smiled innocently and lightly patted my cheek. "I worry, Major." Then she skipped off, ten times happier than before.

I rolled my eyes again before walking off. I walked, at human pace, down to the end of my property, where I had my stable. The old wood creaked in the slight wind, but the strong foundation surely wasn't going anywhere. I threw the stable doors open, immediately assaulted by chicken feathers caused by a back draft. The chickens themselves scattered.

It had been far too long since I last visited my horses in their stables. It was sadly true, I had been heinously neglecting them. Charlotte or Peter took care of them when really they were mine to take care of. I made a mental note to be more involved with them.

I walked over to my favorite horse. He was pure black, strong and young, and incredibly stubborn like myself. I felt I related the most to him, and he seemed to agree.

I gently stroked his snout as I unlocked his stall door. "Hello, Twilight. How about a ride today? What do you say?"

Twilight snorted. I took that as a yes as I coaxed him out of the stall. I didn't want to bother with a saddle, so I rode him bareback. It wasn't the same exhilarating rush felt running at vampire speed, but it was something familiar. Both of our hair flying back as we cut past the wind as Twilight galloped straight for the forest's edge. I smirked. Twilight obvious knew where he wanted to go, so I just held on and let him lead for once.

I lost the time as I rode. I didn't think about it. I tried not to think at all.

Twilight needed a stop, I directed him to wear I heard running water. I followed a small stream through the thick trees, until the trees suddenly got sparse. The grass grew long, and there were flowers. It was a meadow, and there was a small pond. We stopped and I dismounted, letting Twilight rest and drink from the pond.

I felt odd abruptly. I looked around suspiciously, but there was no one but Twilight and I. I crossed my arms over my chest and leaned back against a tree, continuing to survey the surroundings.

The meadow wasn't that big. The pond was half of it. It reflected the moonlight like a mirror when it was still, and glittered when braches of overhead weeping willows would brush the surface. Fireflies filled the air, lighting every now and then.

It came to me like a was struck by lightning. I gasped and fell to my knees, horror overwhelming.

It was exactly the setting of my dream, one with Isabella and I. I looked up at the sky, and I could hear her voice like a whisper that traveled on the wind._ "Doesn't it ever frighten you that death means nothing to you?"_

I shook my head.

"This is so fucked up."

**Indeed it is, Jasper.**

**I AM SO SO SO SO SO SO SO SO SO SO SORRY FOR NOT UPDATING IN SO LONG! I really can't tell you guys how sorry i am. You're so patient. I love you guys! **

**If you enjoyed, please REVIEW!**

**However, for the next few chapters, i will not be giving out teasers for reviews. it would be very nice to still have your reviews though. this is not permenant. i am doing this only because having to give out teasers to all of you slows down my progress on the stories, and right now, because of how sorry i am for not updating, i am going to get the next chapters out fast for you guys as my apology for keeping you waiting so long.**

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	19. Chapter 19

**Jasper POV**

When I woke up the next morning, it was because the first of dawn's golden rays were shining through my eyelids. Also, something was playing with my hair. A feeling of pleasantness washed through me as my nose filled with the scent of the damp morning air, the grass, and the trees. All of my senses perked up to the forest around me as I opened my eyes, finding myself laying on the grass in one of the few spots where the sun's glittering, golden light broke through the trees. The warmth radiated within me.

However, I couldn't help but think at once that the warmth of Isabella's skin felt so much better. This was more faint, but it reminded me of that.

Twilight was eating my hair.

I screamed and shot upright, then glared, swatting away the snout of the beast. "Get _away _from me!"

Pleasantness gone.

Twilight snored at me and turned away. I could have almost sworn he rolled his eyes. I sighed sharply before drawing my knees up to my chest and turning away the same.

I couldn't believe I actually fell asleep in the forest. And what—thinking of Isabella? Dreaming about her. Dreaming about her like some damned schoolboy with a crush!

_I give up_. I wanted to scream, to shatter the trees with my voice, and crush them with my hands if that didn't work. _I give _up _already! You son of a bitch, does that make you happy? I want Isabella. I lust for her in every way. For her touch, her humor, her voice, those lips…. I admit that! _

What was the point of denying it further, I thought. Perhaps that first day I saw her in that horrible school and I chose to sit next to her was all because I really did feel something for her. I was drawn to her. That was why I had stalked her. That was why I told her to run from me but secretly hoped she didn't. That was why I was puzzled but deeply elated that she offered herself to me in exchange for her friend the seer.

My mind froze at that last one.

One thing I frequently contemplated: Why _would _she really trade herself like that? Was her love for that girl so strong that she would let herself be taken off to God-knows-where with the monster from her nightmares? Or did she think, maybe deep down she knew, that I was not _that _bad after all?

For the first time in decades, I cared what someone thought of me, and I hoped for the latter.

And another thing, I knew—I crushingly, disappointingly knew—that she did not offer herself to me. She made a second-hand bargain with Aro.

Well, fuck Aro, if he thinks he's getting _my _Isabella.

Well now…that had a ring to it.

_Isabella. My Isabella. Mine, mine, mine…._

But there was something very wrong with that also. I did not yet possess her. She was not truly mine. But, of course, she would be. I made a vow then. She would be mine.

There was only the matter of how to manage that.

Obviously, I was getting nowhere thus far. So…what was it I was doing wrong?

I reflected. I reflected _hard_. That was something I never did. And although I never found myself with many flaws, I reluctantly came up with a few things.

I should watch my temper a little more carefully, I supposed. Also, it might have been helpfully to stop threatening the lives of her friends and everyone she meets. Perhaps I could stop scaring the daylights out of her. I could lessen the threats.

Oh, that all was going to be very difficult. She had a way of really exceeding my patience, it was incredible.

But…I would just have to find a way to make her more compliant. If I was nice, she would be nice in return. Right?

_One way to find out._

Okay. Throw on the charm. Best foot forward, as they say.

_Should be relatively easy_.

* * *

I stood against the wall, around the corner of the stairs. Isabella was in her room, as she had been all day. I intended to go and speak with her, but I drew silently back against that wall as Isabella answered a knock on her door by Charlotte. I involuntarily tensed as a felt the air grow awkward when the two of them faced each other at the door. Charlotte was a little…timid. Isabella was surprised, confused, and slightly hurt.

"Can I come in?" Charlotte asked softly. "I strongly believe I need to speak with you."

"Sure," Isabella answered.

The door shut behind Charlotte.

Not a minute later, nothing but warm feeling filled the air, the two were cackling like hyenas and giggling like children. I even quirked a smile, pleased that Charlotte took my advice and the friendship between the two of them could be restored.

A sat on the stairs as I waited for them to finished with each other.

But…_damn, _did girls talk a lot.

* * *

I was still waiting on the stairs, sitting now.

"Chaaaarloootte," I softly called. "_Charlotte_…"

As I had been doing for the past fifteen minutes.

AT LAST! She emerges from Isabella's room with an excuse of having to leave her to do work with the newborns, else I'll be angry with her. On the surface was pleasantness and sadness of having to leave Isabella. I could feel her fierce irritation. She hugged Isabella, Isabella's door closed, and Charlotte was glaring down at me with her hands set firmly on her hips.

"Well it's about fucking time," I murmured as I stood up, dusting myself off.

"Only because you forced me out," she hissed. "Don't do that ever again! You're a fucking creeper, calling my name relentlessly like that."

I smirked.

Charlotte raised her hands and dropped them again, shoving me aside—I didn't move—before starting down the steps.

"She's all yours."

_Not yet she isn't_, my mind wickedly contradicted.

I took a deep, unnecessary breath before stalking over to Isabella's bedroom door. I stood in front of it, hands hesitantly at my side.

But…what the hell? I did not _hesitate_!

I as then though. I was thinking about knocking or not knocking. Some still mannered part of me urged the knocking; gentlemen knocked before entering a lady's room. The other part of me sneered slightly.

I knocked on the door. Perhaps a little more forceful than was needed….

I felt Isabella's jolt of surprise and I tensed for half a second, and a little taste of confusion numbed the tip of my tongue. I was alarmed myself to realize how sensitive I suddenly was to the feelings around me.

The door was yanked open, Isabella's smiling lips parted and ready to speak, almost laughing. That disappeared when she recognized it was me, and Charlotte as she must have thought. Her nervousness caused me to faintly smirk. I took her appearance; she was wearing dark jeans and a dark blue sweater. V-neck, might I add. Dark blue, dark blue…. If I was ever going to buy clothes for her I must remember that color, it looked so lovely against her cream skin.

She was scowling at me when my eyes returned to hers.

"What do you want, Jasper?" she demanded.

"I come in peace," I tried.

She quirked one fine eyebrow. "That's what they all say, before they harvest your brain."

"Oh, I wouldn't have a use for your alcohol-soaked mind, darlin'."

She cringed ever so slightly. "Yeah. Whatever," she muttered.

I suppressed a chuckle. Clearly, she was in no mood to speak with me. Surely enough, that situation never occurred to me beforehand.

"Your friend, Rosalie," I told her, "wished for you to know that she is no longer angry with you. She's become quite close with one of the other newborns. She's practically forgotten she's a vampire."

I leaned against the frame of the door as shock and happiness filled up Isabella at the news. At my change in proximity to her, she tried to discreetly move back a step.

"Really?" she said, her smile returning. "That's great! I'll have to talk to her later…." She stopped and look back up at me.

I was almost scowling, my arms crossed over her chest. "Sure as hell, you will _not_."

Her anger flamed. Before she could start yelling, I continued to explain, hoping it would quiet her.

"She is a newborn vampire, still. She's learning what that means. You will only cause her harm if you take away her focus. First she must learn control, over her thirst and her emotions, before she can deal with you."

Reluctantly, she agreed. "Fine. Only because I don't want to bother Rose, and not because you told me to stay away."

I nodded. "Of course."

For a long moment, we simply stared at each other. Her gaze was hard, but I could feel her anxiety.

"if that's all then, you can leave now." Her voice was ice. She was already shutting the door on me, but I stopped it with my hand. "_What_?" she asked sharply.

"I _was_ rather hoping I could speak with you," I said. As I leaned closer to her, moving her back into her room, her emotions became muddled. "The day's almost over now. I merely ask for you for the rest of the evening. There was something I wanted to show you. I think you'll like it."

"Not interested," she squeaked.

A raised an eyebrow. "Really?"

She bit her lip, drawing my attention momentarily to her mouth.

"Just the evening," I purred. "You did always want me to ask you out. I know how reckless in choices you still are. I only ask you do the most reckless thing you could, and trust me. As you once did."

"You mean, before you turned into a monster?"

A twinge of pain shot through me, but it didn't reflect on my expression, as it never did. "Yes, exactly."

"That's a lot to ask, Whitlock."

I nodded again. "Sure enough. But I'd like to propose a gentleman's agreement with you."

Her back thumped against the far wall of her room. Her eyes darted around quickly, full of confusion. She was probably wondering how I successfully back her all the way up against the wall. I set my hands on the wall on either said of her, trapping her there.

"Agreement?" she questioned.

"That I will, in fact, behave like a gentleman for the evening, if you would allow me your company."

"Behave like a gentleman? You? That's something! I'll admit, Whitlock, it's a tempting situation."

I couldn't help myself; my eyes hungrily ran over her full form. She visibly paled. _Tempting situation, indeed._

"But I think," she went on, "that you'll need to offer more than that. I'm not that cheap."

I chuckled. "Hmmm…. What is it you want?"

She looked away, contemplating carefully. "I don't know."

"Let's call it a favor then," I suggested. "I'll owe you one. We can think of something some other time. Maybe when you find there is something you want."

She hesitated. "That…sounds…reasonable."

I smiled triumphantly. _Ah, too wide_. She imperceptibly flinched as the sight of my teeth. I smirked, my lips together.

"Come with me then."

She was suddenly apprehensive, but she followed me nonetheless. Out of the house and into the back. The sun was low in the sky, sunset colors in the west and darkness in the east. A picture perfect setting. It made the mood all the better for the two of us.

"Too far to walk," I told her. I wanted to get there before the sun was gone completely. "Do you mind if I run you there?"

Her eyes widened. Otherwise, she didn't oppose or agree. Almost tentatively, I stepped closer to her.

"Close your eyes," I said. "It helps."

She eyed me suspiciously before complying. I gently took her around her waist, lifted her a little, and ran. In no more than ten seconds we were standing in front of the barn and I let go of her. Her eyes fluttered back open and she whirled around, looking between the barn and back into the distance at the house.

"Wow," she muttered.

I pushed the barn door open and went inside. Isabella stayed outside, peaking inside. I coaxed Twilight out of his stall.

The blacker than night horse ran outside without command. It galloped gracefully in a circle, its black mane flowing behind it, its long tail flicking. It stopped, then jumped into the air.

Walking up behind Isabella, I casually asked, "What do you think?"

"He's beautiful," she said, staring in awe.

"He's an Australian Stock horse," I said.

"What's his name?" she asked.

"Twilight."

She went back to watching the horse as he trotted proudly around. "It's fitting," she said. "Is he friendly?"

"Of course. Go ahead," I encouraged, "you can pet him."

She shyly walked towards Twilight, with me by her side. Twilight stilled at our approach, his ears twitching as he stared at us. Isabella looked at me again nervously. I smiled and nodded. Twilight dipped his head down as she reached up to gently stroked his snout. She laughed the and pet his head as he blew air noisily out of his noise.

She looked wonderful standing beside Twilight, happy and laughing like that. I relished the moment where nothing seemed wrong or unordinary.

"See?" I said. "Nothing to be afraid of." _The horse, I meant, of course, _my mind bitterly responded.

"Right. Nothing to be afraid of," she repeated.

I tried not to act so morbidly, so I pushed the former thought aside. "Good," I said. "Now, remember that."

"Why?" I she indifferently, scratching behind Twilight's ear.

She glanced over at me just when I disappeared and reappeared to retrieve a saddle. I smirked at her expression and swiftly secured it onto Twilight's back.

"What are you doing?" she asked fearfully.

"You know, there's a bit of Texan in everyone," I said proudly. "And every Texan knows how to ride a horse." I turned to her. She looked horrified. "Now get on the horse, cowgirl."

"Forget it, Whitlock," she retorted. "There is no way you're getting me on that two ton animal."

I chuckled quietly. "He's not two tons, much less than that."

"Oh, yeah, because that really makes me feel so much better." She rolled her eyes.

I neatly grabbed her by my waist and picked her up, setting her down on the horse. She gasped in surprise and wrapped her arms around the horses neck, squeezing her eyes shut.

"Hold onto the handle," I instructed. "And slide up until you reach the front of the saddle."

She carefully and slowly did what I said. In half-hysteria, she muttered in a chant to herself, "Don't let go, don't let go…."

I swung myself onto the horse, sitting behind her and taking the reins in front of her. I made a clicking noise and flicked the reins to get him moving. She gasped and pressed her back against me.

I was in shock briefly before I chuckled quietly. The warmth that radiated from her was too marvelous to be described. And the feel of her in my arms raised feelings I couldn't even name.

"I've got you, cowgirl," I whispered in my ear, inhaling the scent of her hair. "I wouldn't let you fall."

"You better not," she warned.

I made the horse go faster, in spite of the fact that she was muttering for me to slow down. I assured her several times she was fine.

The sun set fast. By the time we got to the line of trees where the forest began, it was down. I steered the horse into the forest. Isabella became afraid, and I couldn't guess why, and I wouldn't ask.

By the time we stopped, reaching our destination, Isabella had her eyes closed again. She was slightly more relaxed though. I hopped down and told her, "Swing your leg over."

She quickly shook her head.

I sighed sharply and folded my arms over my chest. Now it was getting ridiculous. "You'll never get off that horse if you don't."

I could see her thinking about it. Finally, she swung her leg over the horse so she was sitting sidesaddle.

"Slide off. I'll catch you."

Her teeth sunk into her bottom lip and she hesitated, then she slid off the horse. As I promised, she landed right into my arms. I was suddenly extremely reluctant to let her go, but I set her upright and she breathed a sigh of relief.

"Where are we?" she asked curiously, peering into the darkness around us.

"Just a nice, little place," I replied.

I began to walk off, and Isabella began to grow nervous again. I paused to look at her, wondering why. I shook my head and lit a match, dimly illuminating the area around my face up with golden light. Isabella's eyes found mine.

I lit a paper lantern that was hanging from one of the trees, then went on to light about a dozen more.

The darkness around us evaporated, and was lit up by the warm glow of the fire in the lanterns. We stood under a weeping willow tree, the branches hanging down around us and brushing the water of the pond in front of us. Twilight passed between us to lean down and drink from the pond. The lantern lights reflected off the water, and the water was filled with white and pink water lilies.

"This is beautiful," Isabella whispered, gazing around.

I smiled in full satisfaction. "I knew you'd like it."

I sat down in the long grass as I watched her reaction to the place. I then wondered if she ever dreamed about me before. _Oye that was going to bother me. _She suddenly surprised me by coming to sit next to me.

"How did you find this?" she asked.

I shrugged. "I was just riding Twilight through this area and happened to come across it. I thought it was nice, and I put these lanterns here to light it up when it got dark."

"It's beautiful," she repeated. "I'm glad you showed me this. It was definitely worth the horrifying ride here."

I chuckled. "Was it really all that terrifying? I thought you would rather like it."

"I like the horse," she said. "But I just like to stay on the ground. I guess there's no cowgirl in me." She shrugged.

"Believe me, you have the heart of a Texan," I said. "You're strong and brave, more than any human I've ever seen."

She made a face. "You would think, nowadays, that any human could point out a vampire at first sight. With all the television shows and movies, you would think we could tell a vampire when we see one."

"People think we're not real, so they're not looking for us. Anyway, we're good at blending in with normal society. That or people are too afraid of us to question."

She was abruptly alight with fury. She groaned and put a hand over her face. "And brilliant me runs right after a vampire. _Fucking idiot_," she scolded herself.

I grinned. "I agree. You _are _an idiot."

She looked at me sharply, then softened. She shook her head and laughed at herself. "Yeah. I am."

"We all make mistakes," I said. "This is actually the one thing we have in common. We've both made mistakes that led us here."

Her eyebrows pulled together. "What were your big mistakes?"

"Trusting a woman," I said darkly. "Falling into false-love with that bitch Maria who changed me. Following her like a lost puppy. Acting as her slave for all those years." I shook my head. "All of those terrible, terrible years. I put her above everything, even my humanity."

She nodded. "That explains a lot," she said softly. "That must be why you act the way you do now."

"Yes," I agreed tightly. "That's why. Because I am a man, master of myself, servant to no one. I know I've changed myself for the better when I think about my past."

"What about when you think about the present? Or the future?"

I sneered slightly. "I don't think about that. In truth, I try not to think about the past either. I live in sin, have lived in sin and probably will always. They say people don't change. It must be twice as hard for a vampire to change. Imagine that."

She shook her head a little, dropping her gaze. "I believe anyone can change. You don't _have _to be like how you are. But, you…you…_like _it. That's the only thing that makes me believe you can't change. You have both options to do right or wrong, and you always choose wrong."

"Not always," I disagreed in a murmur. "But you're right, for the most part."

"You could be more like Carlisle," she said. "I'm sure he would be more than willing to help you." She stopped then and looked back at me. "Where _is _Carlisle?"

"Called away for personal duties. I'm sure he'll be back."

"Oh." She looked away again. "Well, you should talk to him when he comes back."

I put a hand under her chin and gently forced her to look back up at me. A bit of fear slithered through her when her eyes met mine. "Do you know that I haven't drank any blood since I turned your friend Rosalie? I haven't killed a human for blood since I brought you here."

She didn't reply. Her hands trembled as she moved my hand from her face, and again she looked down. "I wouldn't understand why, I'm sure of that, so don't try to explain why. But what about before that? And…I saw you when you fed off Rose. I'd never seen you like that before, not even close. It was _awful_, Jasper."

Something in my stomach tightened when she said my name.

"You didn't look human anymore. You didn't think about the killing, did you? You were just set to drain her of life, and you didn't regret it."

"No," I said. "I did not. That's what being a vampire is like. You're meant to kill, and you don't regret it. Or, should I say, I don't. I'm not Carlisle. I was taught not to regret, and kill when needed to, be without mercy."

"Doesn't it ever frighten you that death means nothing to you?" she asked me.

_Déjà vu anyone? _My dream just came to life. I said what was on my mind without missing a beat. I knew that was what I had to say.

"Why should death frighten me? If what state I'm in now is not already a death then I know nothing of death. If this is my death, my hell, I am not frightened."

"Doesn't anything scare you?" she demanded of me, becoming frustrated.

"Everyone is scared of something," I answered vaguely. "Even if they won't admit it, everyone has a fear."

She turned her wide, chocolate eyes onto mine. "And yours would be….?"

I sighed. Then I smirked, and laughed, very dauntingly. "Forgive me that I won't be giving up my weaknesses easily."

She gave me a hard look. "Jasper, I wasn't trying to look for your weaknesses. That's so paranoid. What do you think I'm gonna do?"

"Alright. Once you tell me your darkest secrets and undisclosed fears I'll tell you mine."

I waited.

She drew back a little. "That's…different. Jasper…don't laugh! Look, I don't trust you, so no way in hell would I ever tell you my secrets."

"I'll leave it up to your sleep talking then," I teased. "maybe you'll give something up then."

She looked mortified. "I've been sleep talking?"

I sobered suddenly. "Do you know that you sometimes cry in your sleep?"

Shock filled her, making it easy to say that she hadn't known that.

"This is an impossible thing," I said, "but I wish you could be happy here." _What force on Earth made me say that? _

For the first time, as she stared at me so intently, I didn't know what she was feeling. It probably didn't help that I didn't know what I was feeling either.

"I just want to know one thing," she said softly.

I eagerly awaited her question.

"Are you still drunk?"

I had no power to stop the smile that slowly spread across my face, and then I quietly laughed. She smile in return. The two of us laid back on the grass and looked up at the starry sky, together in perfect silence. And for once, that's exactly what everything was. Perfect.

**well...that was sweet. Enjoy it while it lasts, my precious GOW fans.**

**btw, i asked you guys if you would be interested in reading my own original stuff... I have some up. "The Dark Euphoria" is a poem, "Absolute Beginners" is an excerpt from a story I'm writing, and "Book of Shadows" is a short story. If you guys are interested, i'd appriciate your reviews of it. **

**thanks for reading! ! !**


	20. Chapter 20

**Bella POV**

I sighed and curled up tighter on me side, instinctively hugging the blanket under my chin. It was actually a little too hot under the blanket, but it was too comfy. I could tell faint light fell into my room from behind the window curtains. I didn't know why, but I felt good that morning. I didn't want to get out of bed. I just wanted to stay there and be peaceful for a little longer.

However, the memories of the night before quickly came flooding back to me, and my eyes snapped open. Yes, I was in my room. How did I get there? I didn't remember. I must had fallen asleep in the forest, with Jasper. He must have…carried me back? It could have happened, it was strange that I didn't notice.

Strange that I fell asleep there! I couldn't believe I did that!

I could believe I actually agreed to "spend the evening with him". We stayed together the whole night.

Holy shit! We were actually having a conversation, a real _two-sided_ conversation. And he was, for the most part, actually _pleasant_! What kind of fucked up paradox did I just trip into?

And Jasper…. Jasper actually smiled. _Really _smiled. He really laughed and really smiled, completely genuine, without any sort of sultry or bitter manner. I thought my heart was fluttering still.

What was going on?

To say I was confused was an understatement. I sat up in my bed and ran a hand through my hair, breathing carefully. I ran over some key events from the night before.

First, Jasper came to my room uninvited, unannounced, and unwanted. Somehow he was able to persuade me into joining him wherever for the rest of the night. Hell, at that moment, he probably could have persuaded me to go streaking through the woods. I couldn't help myself—he had me caught between himself and the wall faster than I could think, giving me that God awful/wonderful smirk. I lost it. Per usual, I got to play the fool while he danced all over me.

Oh, and, I got one free wish from him. I mildly wondered if I could wish for more wishes.

Then there was that terrible ride on the horse. I loved the horse, Twilight—how beautiful!—but not riding on him. I had never ridden a horse before, needless to say. It was total darkness too, so I couldn't see where we were going. That made it scarier. Then there was the fact that Jasper had his arms around me…. That was far from scary.

Really, the things I felt made me seem like a sighing tweenager with a crush. It was horrible.

Then our conversations came. First, we both agreed that I was an idiot. Alright, fair enough. He amended by admitting that he had made past mistakes too.

Jasper's past mistakes were trusting Maria, becoming Maria's "slave", losing his humanity and becoming evil. That was shocking to me. He did feel regret after all. He didn't like the way he was. And thus, I felt like shit for the way I treated him.

His confession also said a lot about why he acted that way. It really was Maria's fault. Maria taught him to be cruel and evil, like she was. Maria broke his heart, making him twice as cruel. The truth was that he was just very hurt inside; I saw that, finally. That made him think that he couldn't trust anyone. That made him think that he had to make people fear him so they wouldn't think of turning on him. That made him believe that he had to rule everyone else to feel like he was the Master and not the Slave, because the latter was the part he had been playing his whole life. Maria ruined him.

_Bitch._

I was so glad Jasper had told me that. I felt like I understood so much more. Only then, I didn't know how to proceed with my new found information. All of Charlotte's encouraging shoves felt like they weighed a thousand pounds on my shoulders. What was I supposed to do now?

In honesty, I wanted to talk to him. I wanted to find out more about him. I liked getting him to open up to me. He hadn't done any of that since I met him, and suddenly he was. I didn't even want to question why, I just liked that he was. I couldn't care less why. I wanted to talk with him again, and I wanted to feel the way I did the night before. I wanted to fall asleep happy and peaceful.

So I jumped out of bed, ran to the window, and threw apart the curtains. I could see all the newborns out there, Peter and Charlotte, but Jasper wasn't there. I search harder. I found Rosalie, surprisingly. Rose was one the back of another dark-haired vampire, but they weren't fighting, she looked like she was laughing. Peter came to break them apart, and from his motions he seemed to be yelling at them. Then Charlotte pounced on Peter from behind, surprise attack, both of them tumbling to the ground while Rose and the other man laughed again. I laughed too before shaking my head and walking away.

I quickly brushed my teeth and washed my face in the bathroom. I always felt better when I was fresher. I changed into dark jeans, a pair of ballet flats, and a simple black v-neck shirt. While I was looking in the mirror, brushing my hair, I realized that maybe a v-neck shirt wasn't the best way to go. Then I thought about it, and I left it on because I thought that taking it off would be like doubting Jasper's control. I wanted to believe Jasper could handle himself if I just showed a little skin around the neck area. I realized putting my hair in a ponytail might have been pushing it, so I left my hair down.

I went back to the window and opened it up, sticking my head out. "Eh, Peter!" I called.

Peter swiftly turned to look at me, in turn being tackled by his sparring partner.

"Whoops," I muttered.

I heard Peter growl from where I was before he threw off his partner, others snickering around him. He stood and brushed himself off before asking, "What, Bella?"

"Where's the Major at?"

Peter hesitated. "He left this morning, Bella. I think he'll be gone all day. But he'll definitely be back tonight. Did you need something?"

"Nope, thanks." Cursing in my mind, I pulled the window shut.

Well, there went that. Jasper would be gone all day. What was I supposed to do all day?

Followed by: What the hell? I'm I insane? Seriously, I was living in a mansion, and I had Charlotte. Surely I could find something to do. The party's not over 'cause Jasper's ass isn't around.

Still, I wondered what he was doing. I just hoped it wasn't anything bad.

And then I had an idea. Jasper wasn't home, which meant that certain things were unguarded. For example, his room might have been unlocked. And maybe, just maybe, his journal was sitting out on the bedside table. Perhaps it was sitting there waiting to be read.

I carefully poked my head out of my room, and looked down the hall both ways. It was quiet. _Too _quiet. There was no one to be seen either way. I crept out of my room, softly shutting the door behind me.

And with the _Mission: Impossible_ theme song playing in my head….

I found myself in front of Jasper's door. Hesitating. My hand poised cautiously over the doorknob.

Of course I was being paranoid. Yet, you can never be too careful around Jasper. If he suddenly popped up behind me out of nowhere, it wouldn't have been the first time.

I went into his room, closing the door. It was empty. I first looked to the bedside table, but there was no book there. I quickly scanned around, not seeing it, and realizing that if I really wanted it then I would have to dig for it.

I turned to my right, my eyes immediately locked on the double doors that led to his closet. I started towards it before I could stop myself.

Jasper's closet was narrow and walk in. Dress shoes and boots lined the wall. The hangers flaunted many suits, dress pants, dress shirts, button down shirts, and a couple uniquely styled poet's shirts. There was a small dresser filled with t-shirts and jeans, which made me realize that he never wore jeans and t-shirts after they left the school. Guess that wasn't his normal style. On a shelve up high, I found a couple hats, some gloves, and a stack of leather-bound journals.

_Ah, so that's where he keeps them all. Damn, there's a hundred years worth of journals, all right. _

I picked one at random, skimming through the dates. I frowned and picked another, dong the same. Soon I had gone through them all, but they were all so old. I wanted to know where Jasper kept his most recent journal entries.

Slightly disappointed, I walked out of his closet, gazing around his room again. Who's to say he even kept it in his room though? He had an office, it could have been in there. I didn't want to have to go through everything just to find it.

I sat on the edge of his bed. Then, with a groan, and slumped to the side onto the pillows. My head hit something that was definitely not pillow. I sat up and looked over the pillow, checking out the indents my head made, the shape of it. I took the pillow and tipped it upside down, reaching inside.

I smiled as I pulled out Jasper's journal, looking over the hard cover of it. "Jasper," I told the journal, "you are _so _human."

I flipped to the last page that had writing on it. Sure enough, it was an entry from the night before.

_May 18, 2011  
__Did she really understand? This is what I wonder. She seemed to understand. There was…a compassion in her eyes. Her lips were stretched with a soft smile. I know she was happy. I curse my gift, I know what people feel but I don't know the reason behind it. Why was she content? I could only wish that it had something to do with me.  
I doubt so, however.  
Isabella has been both a thorn in my side and a sweet fragrance of rose about me since I met her. What is it about this insufferable, adorable girl? She has changed me, that's suffice to say. I've felt more than I ever have just last night with her. That was more pleasurable than I imagine it could be.  
She does so deserve that agreement of payment….  
I would find a way to take the stars from the sky for her if it meant I could have the pleasure of her company._

I snapped the book shut. I could feel the mask of shock on my face. I couldn't believe what I had just read.

I grinned. Jasper liked me. He mentioned me being annoying, but he liked me. He didn't hate me.

And that was enough for me.

* * *

**Jasper POV**

"Forks Mental Institution," read the large sign.

It did seem an evil place though. I couldn't say what about it, but with the shadows of the great trees leering over the building like that, it seemed unwelcoming. I could even say malicious.

I listened first; a habit. A heard talking—two different types. People spoke in normal conversations, or doctors went over patients' histories or medical needs. Then I heard talking like muttering, whispering, grumbling, and threats. It was people talking to themselves. I heard heartbeats and breathing both stable and erratic. I heard sobbing, screaming, snoring, and laughing.

It was insane just standing outside and hearing all of that.

It did seem like a horrible place, despite that I didn't really know anything of what such a place is like. It's easy to say I wouldn't want to be in one.

Still, I certainly did not feel sorry at all for that psychic, anorexic pixie.

_Did I or did not tell her not to go spreading the word about vampires? I did. What did she do no sooner? She ran through the town screaming, "Vampire!" _

I strongly believe she got what she deserved. However, Isabella had different views. And a wish….

I started on my way towards the front door of the institution. I hid in the shadows of the wall a peered inside. Everything was dimmed. Visiting hours over, I suspected.

I ran around to the back door, one that led to the basement. It was locked, of course, but what good was that against me? I tried not to break the door as much as possible.

When I found myself at the receptions' desk, there was only one woman there. Luckily enough. She was confused when I walked up to her.

"Excuse me, who are you?" she asked as she lowered the paper's she was shuffling. "Are you a visitor? Sir, visiting hours are over, you can't be here."

I leaned on the desk and caught her eyes with mine, and she relaxed to the level of lassitude I commanded of her. I smiled easily. "I'm looking to check someone out. Her name is Alice Hale. If you would be so kind, I would appreciate if you could look her up and take me to her."

The young woman hesitated to make any move. I goaded her on by feeding her some feelings of compliance and more exhaustion. She rolled her chair over a bit to the computer and began typing with mechanical motions.

Perhaps I was wrong to curse my gift because of Isabella. This is the best thing next to compulsion. That's one myth I wished were real in vampires.

The woman stood and began walking around the counter. I raised an eyebrow and straightened up.

"You found it then?" I asked.

I woman nodded.

"Very good," I approved. "Take me to her then."

I followed the woman down the halls, and I had little reason to believe any patient in the hospital was sleeping. There was so much moaning and whining, sounds of perfect horror, and some laughs that made even me cringe. I clasped my hands behind my back and tired my best to ignore it.

When then made our way onto the floor for children and teens. It was much more quiet there. I softly breathed a sigh of relief.

And then it didn't seem at all right. We passed the teen section and down a long, very different hall. The air changed dramatically. I stopped without knowing I had. There were a few doctors running up and down these halls. In these halls the laughing from before was giggling compared to these ear-grating hysteric cackles. In this area, sobbing and wailing was endless.

I caught up with my guide in a few strides, looking around warily.

And then we stopped at one room. One room with a steel door and no window.

"Ms. Hale is in here," the woman said.

I hesitated to pull the door open, the heavy metal screeching in protest. A white, padded room was revealed to me. My gaze was drawn to the small, pale-skinned, black haired form huddled in the corner.

_It couldn't be…._

"Shit," I muttered before stepping into the room.

But it was her. Alice had gone crazy enough to be needed to be locked in a padded room. And she was awake, even though her eyes were closed. She was muttering about vampires.

I rested my hand against the head of the woman beside me, and the woman fell limp. I caught her and laid her in the padded room before tentatively approaching Alice. I knelt in front of her, but still she didn't care to notice my presence.

"Alice, darlin'," I said slowly.

She gasped, her eyes opening a mile wide. She looked at me and got ready to scream, but clasped a hand over her mouth to muffled it. She cried still and tried to attack me wildly, scratching mostly.

I calmed her enough to the point of becoming unconscious. Otherwise, I would have never been able to get her out of there.

"Fuck," I hissed. "This is a problem."

**I'd say. **

**Sorry about the short chapter guys, i had no more to add to this.**

What did you think? Please review! ! !

Thanks for reading!


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